I wanted to make this video about six months ago, but then I thought,
"NO! I'll save it for Halloween, because of 'THEMING' or..." whatever, I don't know.
SHUT UP! I don't have to explain myself!
I'm excited to tell you this story!
WOW!!!
(Laughs)
So, Haunted Houses.
I think Haunted Houses, they're fine...
But I don't want to brag or anything,
but since the age of 16, I've never been in a Haunted House that I was scared of.
Granted, all the Haunted Houses I've been in were free and didn't have any sign of waiver,
and when I was little, sure, I was TERRIFIED of Haunted Houses.
It's just... I don't know....
I think I kept telling myself that none of it was real.
And then when I grew up, I just always knew that none of it was real.
When you can see the severed hand is made of plastic,
all the tension you previously had is kinda lost.
And sure, I still get startled at the jumpscares,
but since they don't stab you or anything, it's always AWKWARD afterwards.
Uh... Hello?
Uh... I'm just gonna walk this way now.
Or maybe I don't get scared 'cause I don't feel emotions... anymore. WHO KNOWS!?
But there's one Haunted House experience during my senior year of high school
that I will never forget, because it was probably one of the most traumatizing things I've ever seen.
I haven't seen that many traumatising things.
And also, I won't forget it, because I'm about to immortalize the experience
by making a YouTube video about it.
Alright, my senior year, I was part of my school's Drama Club. I was a theater kid.
And the clubs at the school got to help do some of the activities for the school's fair.
The whole school is putting on a fair, probably to raise money or something.
It seems that schools are always in need in some extra cash,
have you ever noticed that?
So the football team got to do the dunk tank,
the band kids, like, face painted, or something?
I don't remember, it's not important.
And the theater kids, since the fair is in October and that's Halloween's month,
we got to put on a Haunted House.
Cool!
The Drama Club was separated into groups,
and we would each be a "Scary Part" in the Haunted House.
And we got to make the Haunted House inside the school.
So we got a lot of area to work with,
and there was a lot of space in between each scary thing.
My group, what we did is, we dressed up as Vampires, but Scary Vampires,
and we sat at this dinner table, and we decorated it with fake organs,
goblets filled with blood (Red Kool-Aid),
and we had this freshman girl that was laying on top of the table
and we put fake organs coming out of her, you know, to make it look like we were eating her
because Vampires eat... people.
Okay, saying that out loud, I realize that doesn't make any sense,
why would a group of Vampires be eating... someone?
They... they... they don't do that.
We put a yellow sheet over the light above for a good SPOOPY atmosphere,
We had a smoke machine, some ambient Halloween music playing...
♫ SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS SEND SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE ♫
Our group was pretty LEGIT.
Whenever a group of people walked by,
We would just silently stare at them,
and then the freshman on the table would scream at the top of her lungs...
She was really good at screaming, by the way.
And since we had so much space in between each of the scary parts,
When they walked past us, we would get up and chase them!
YEAH! It was fun.
Okay, so you have to understand that theater kids are VERY LOUD, extroverted people.
I need to tell you about this one kid who was in my Vampire group,
Um... we'll just name him...
Balake.
Yeah, Balake.
Balake and I were both part of the school's Improv Club, so we were both pretty funny people,
except Balake was just OUT THERE.
He was LOUD. It seemed he was just always screaming.
I didn't have any classes with him, but he was obviously the high self-esteem class clown kind of kid.
So Balake, being the loud and more popular kid, he got to sit at the head of our table.
We had done the Haunted House for about two hours at this point, and I want you to think
what it's like to go inside a Haunted House.
Just going in for 5 minutes, that will already make me feel uncomfortable and sweaty.
All the strobe lights, the smoke and the freshman over here
who has to be constantly screaming "BLOODY MURDER"...
Again, you did a good job, freshman.
And we were supposed to get a break sometime in the middle,
but since the haunted house was so popular, we didn't get ONE break.
So I'm a little loopy after doing all this for so long, right?
I was totally NOT ready for what was about to happen.
This group of people walk in and we do our normal thing,
we get up and we chase them.
But Balake got pretty physical with this one little boy,
like he kind of shook him up a bit.
And I didn't see exactly what happened,
but apparently this little boy was holding a fish in a plastic baggie,
you know? Those little tiny fish that are actually supposed to be used as food for bigger fish
that you can win as prizes in fairs?
And 99% of the time the fish die within two weeks, 'cause you don't have the right aquarium equipment.
So you just put them in water and watch them slowly die.
You know those fish?
I didn't think people were allowed to bring their new pet fish into the Haunted House,
but I guess he smuggled it in or something.
I didn't see the kid drop the fish, maybe Balake slapped it out of his hands - that could have happened,
I just heard a scream and I saw a fish, flopping around in a puddle on the floor.
Fish look like they're in so much PAIN when they're out of water.
I don't flail all around uncontrollably when I go swimming. Like, calm down, fish!
I'm silently panicking, 'cause the fish looks like he's gonna die in 3 seconds if we don't do something.
I start thinking of places we can put the fish.
Uh... Uh...
THE TOILET!
But Balake, without saying anything, just immediately bent down,
cupped the tiny fish in his hands,
he ran back to the table, he put the fish in an empty goblet,
and then he POURED RED KOOL-AID INTO THE CUP!?
NAH! I'm just kidding! He got a water bottle from under the table
because they gave us water bottles,
and the fish was fine, ladies and gentlemen!
It all happened so fast, and thanks to Balake's quick thinking,
he saved this little kid's fish.
The kid was still a couple of feet down the hall,
Balake took the goblet in his hands,
he walked it over to the kid,
he reached out his hand to give the kid his fish...
AND THEN HE JUST CHUGGED THE DRINK!!!!!!!!!!!!
BALAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HE! DRANK! THE! FISH!
And this little kid let out the most blood-curdling scream.
It sounded like this kid just watched his pet get swallowed by a complete stranger.
It was honestly THE loudest scream I heard that night.
I bet the next group of people behind these guys were thinking,
"Aw, man. Whatever's next must be really scary to get that kid to scream like that."
The kid started trying to attack Balake,
and I'm sure, if he had the correct tools he would have murdered him,
Balake eventually spat out the fish.
(Spitting sound)
He didn't swallow it, THANKFULLY!
He just kept it swimming in his mouth,
but I mean that's what you gotta do when you're working in a haunted house.
You have to scare people anyway you can.
I was just a bystander and I still wake up in a cold sweat thinking about it.
Turns out, this kid was actually Balake's little brother,
so at least he didn't to this to a complete stranger.
Man, you really go to appreciate what lengths older brothers go through
to torment the little brother.
Balake's little brother, you might be watching,
but I was there, dude! I know what pain you go through.
I have an older brother too. I know what it's like to be Luigi.
I mean, he never swallowed any of my pets,
he would just, steal my food.
He also never let me win in Super Smash Bros.
Anytime I was about to win, he would turn off the Nintendo.
But I mean, I'm fiiiiiine!
Look how I turned out.
I shouldn't be so hard on my older brother. After all, he SUPPOSEDLY watches my videos.
No one send him a link to this video, I want to see if he actually watches these.
Hey bro, you probably forgot all the times you turned off the Nintendo 64,
but I'll never forget the first time I beat you in Super Smash Brothers
fair and square without a handicap.
We were on Link's Stage, your favorite character
and ironically, I was Luigi.
So changing subjects, someone asked if I say "Wear Your Seatbelt", because some I knew died
in a car crash or somthing?
Nope. No one I ever known has ever died in a car crash.
I known of some people who've been in car crashes,
but they all lived because they wore their seatbelt.