Hey guys, welcome back. Thanks for joining me for another video
so this week I want to talk about our
Standards and how we can start raising them in many areas of our life this week
I am gonna be doing a giveaway
So don't forget to watch this video and at the end I will give you the details on what the giveaway will be now
Let's get right into this week's video. So one of the things that I love about coaching is it really is geared towards?
Goal-setting like really what are the things that we want to accomplish and sometimes the things we want to accomplish is to be healthy
Right. We want to be emotionally healthy. We want to be mentally healthy
We want to get ourselves to a really great place after maybe even going through something. That's really difficult
So in my practice something that I'm always
working with my clients on is not just healing it's not just
Learning how to parent yourself and having that great relationship with yourself learning how to have positive and healthy self-talk
Making that confidence right boosting that confidence up. We work on all aspects of yourself
But one of the biggest things that we also tackle is what's the life that you want to live and let's start creating it
So if we want to have a great life we have to have goals so you would need to know
Okay, this is where I want to be in my life
This is the goal that I'm trying to achieve
Now where standards come into play is your standards create your habits
So whatever standard you have is really the bar for what you're willing to accept
so your standards and
Relationships are gonna be the bare minimum of what you will accept in a relationship and how you want to be treated
The same thing in your career same thing in your personal life
Same thing with your body same thing with your mental health everything
You have to have a standard of this is this is it's a non-negotiable
This is what I expect in this area of my life
and when depending on where your standards are will determine the habits that you will then have day in and day out to
Meet that standard to get yourself at that level and to eventually achieve a goal. So this is why I say in my practice
It's not just about one thing. It's not just about learning how to have positive and healthy self-talk
It's also about learning how to parent yourself
It's also about learning how to deal with manipulation and understanding what abuse looks like it's all it's all so understanding, okay
Well, where are the wounds inside of myself?
So all of these different things will come full circle to create the life that you want because if you say, okay
I'm gonna raise my standards and expect more out of people on my
Relationships when someone doesn't give you that and when they and then when they show you a red flag
What's going on inside of yourself? That's either allowing you to deal with that behavior or not deal with that behavior?
what are the stories that you're telling yourself that are allowing you to walk away from a situation that isn't good for you because that's
Not the standard
it's not meaning where I want this relationship to be in order for it to
Grow and be what I would like it to be some day
So it's also about working on yourself as well as everything that's external in order for you to create the life that you want
That's why I always say everything in life starts with you
You have to be intact your mental health your emotional health you being able to deal with abusive people and how do you handle situations?
And learning about manipulation all these things. This is why this is so so important
So again, your standards are the bare minimum of what you will expect or tolerate in
Specific areas of your life. So how do we get there? How do we get to a standard?
So some people have to in order for them to raise their standards in their life
Depending on whether it's their physical health or a relationship, you know, some people have to go through a gut-wrenching
Heartbreak where they went through severe emotional physical sexual abuse with a man or a woman
In order for them to kind of wake up and say wait a minute
I didn't deserve this something has to change and they begin to change
Themselves and they begin to then they begin to raise the bar as to what they expect in another person
So have you ever been in a situation where you were in a relationship with someone who is really?
Unhealthy and toxic and not good for you
And then when that relationship ended you raised the bar on what you expect out of someone else going forward
It's this is exactly what I'm talking about
Sometimes we have to go through something really terrible in order for our standards to get raised
So if you are a person that perhaps is overweight
Maybe you need to have a health scare in order for that to kind of jolt you to raise your standards
For you to be able to take care of yourself better physically some people that perhaps abuse drugs or alcohol
Maybe they have to have a really, you know, bad car accident or something happens to them
That's almost life threatening that it kind of wakens them up for them to change the standards in their life
So no matter what happens to you the minute your mindset changes on something
Your standards then change and when your standards change that's when your habits begin to change because you will begin
Doing or you will not tolerate certain things that aren't
Mirroring what you want to see in your life and it becomes something that is just a non-negotiable. It's going to happen
This is going to happen and sometimes when we go through those terrible painful experiences
That's why they say there's always good stuff that comes out of a crappy situation
Sometimes that pain is the thing that will drive you to make change happen
It'll push you so far out of your comfort zone because you're in such agony or in such heartbreaker in such pain
That it causes you to wake up every day and to make a change happen in your life
So now what happens when we haven't gone through something that is gut-wrenching right when nothing crazy has happened
But I still need to raise my standards either in my relationship or within myself or whatever
It's really simple, but it takes constant work every single day
So this is where your mental toughness is going to come into play
This is where it's not just about okay
I'm gonna set the alarm and I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna go to the gym at 5:30
it's about fighting off all of those thoughts that are
Happening in your mind at 5:30 when that alarm goes off. It's the same thing when you're
Starting to date someone and you see bits and pieces of who they are and you don't like it what's going on inside?
What's the mental chatter and are you fighting off those thoughts?
Are you learning how to have a dialogue with yourself in order to separate fear from?
Reality from what you should be doing. What's healthy for you, you know all of that stuff
This is what I teach in my practice
But you have to start with knowing what you want and this sounds so simple, but most people don't know what they want
They just take life and whatever it comes to them. They just say, okay, this is and this was this is what's gonna happen
They don't realize that they are the creators of their life
and so when you approach every single day from that that aspect of
This day I'm waking up and I'm gonna create this day
I'm not gonna wait for life to happen to me because I'm never gonna get what I want
So when you know, okay, what do I want in a relationship? What do I want out of a career?
What do I want for my physical body and you and and that becomes your standard your habits will eventually catch up
where the big the hard work comes into play is the
Self-discipline the self-discipline and the mental toughness has to do with learning how to have that inner dialog so I know what I want
I know what I expect
I know that I deserve it and that's something that you have to constantly remind yourself time and time again
because that ego is gonna come through and it's gonna remind you of
Why you're probably not gonna get it why you should stay on the couch
Why you should just hit snooze on that why you shouldn't get up and go do more work that you know
you should be doing and
Procrastinate you have to take charge of those thoughts and this is something that is no easy task
But I will say the minute you start doing it and you raise your standards and you
Consciously are like, okay. I'm just gonna focus on these small moments these small habits
Then I'm gonna get me to where I need to be the minute you get
To where you want to be all of a sudden your luck. Oh my god, I did that
I did that and that's what builds confidence that's what builds momentum to keep going in many different areas of her life
It's almost like it becomes an addiction. You're like, okay, I did this. I accomplished this goal. I
Have the relationship that I want I have the career that I want
I have the body that I want and now I can tackle on something else
Once the momentum is built and you're running with this and you know, okay, how do I parent myself?
How do I have that inner dialogue?
And you start practicing this stuff day in and day out and this is what I do with my clients
it becomes easy to fight off the
Procrastination and all the thoughts that are causing you to not feel motivated to go do it, you know you need to do so
it's really about learning how to live in small moments and
Tackling those thoughts in those small moments to get you to where you want to be
I think often what happens with people and the reason why standards get so low is
Because number one they don't believe they're worthy. So when I don't believe that I'm worthy of a great relationship
I'm not gonna have a standard for how I expect people to treat me and in order to really fight off that
Voice inside of you. That's not I'm not enough story that's telling you that you're not worthy
you have to constantly be monitoring your inner dialogue and
People get so scared by this process
But I'm telling you it's something that will ease your anxiety. It will get rid of fear. It will get rid of stress
It doesn't mean you're never gonna have those feelings over again
You're a human being but when they happen you'll know how to deal with them
You will know how to
Self-soothe, and that's something that we should have been taught how to do as we were growing up
And unfortunately, we weren't taught it
So we're trying to learn it now as adults and it's it's not a situation
Where it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks
It's very very easy, because when you start emotionally and mentally taking care of yourself
You feel good
and when you feel good, you have more energy and when you know
You're worthy and keep practicing working on that self-worth life becomes a lot easier
It becomes more enjoyable and you and life starts changing and this is when you start actually creating the life that you want
so
I hope that that has helped you give a brief outline as to how we can begin
Raising our standards if you are interested in private coaching and I will link my website and caption below please go there message me
Send me a direct message there
I will also link where my
Services are in terms of private coaching or online coaching if you are interested in that for this week
I want to give away an hour of free coaching to anyone that would like to speak with me regarding something that they are personally
struggling with in their life or would like more guidance on so if you are interested in having a free coaching
Session with me. There are just a few things that you have to do
You have to be a subscriber to this channel. You have to click on the notification bell
So you have to be a part of the notification community
Please like and comment down below that you would like a free session and I will
a winner in the first 12 hours of this video going live
Once I picked a winner we can set up a time that works best for both of us and have our session together
so this is just
Another giveaway where and I love doing these because I've actually got to know so many people
That we're now following each other on social media on Instagram
And if you are not following me on Instagram, I will link that right here
But it's just so great to meet you guys
And you know, I feel like you guys sometimes know me
but I don't know you and so this is
Just my way of saying thank you for all of your love and support over the years
And helping to really grow this channel, so, you know what to do get it done if you have any questions
Please don't forget to comment down below and I will see you next week