(phone ringing)
- Hello?
- [Caller] Why don't you want to talk to me?
- Okay, who is this?
- [Caller] Tell me your name and I'll tell you mine.
- I don't think so.
- [Caller] What's that noise?
- Oh I'm just melting Junior Mints
into a big globby mess.
- [Caller] I only eat Junior Mints at the movies.
- Well I'm about to watch a movie.
So I'm gonna melt this crap up,
stick my fingers in it, then slurp, slurp, slurp,
yum, yum, yum.
It's gonna be so gross.
- [Caller] What movie are you gonna watch?
- I don't know.
Probably just some dumb rom-com.
- [Caller] Huh, really?
Not a scary movie.
(suspenseful music)
- What?
No, never.
Never.
- [Caller] Wait, never?
Do you not like scary movies?
- No, I hate them.
I'm gonna watch The Holiday.
Did you know, Kate Winslet used to be British?
- [Caller] The Holiday?
Oh gah, okay, all scary movies, really?
All of the horror genre, just bad all around?
- Kinda.
I mean, I watch movies to feel good.
Why would I watch a movie to intentionally be scared?
- [Caller] But scary movies aren't just about being scared.
They're about exploring the inner evil within us all.
- Okay, but honestly, I don't really need that.
I mean, the world is evil enough, okay.
Have you seen Trump's immigration policies?
- [Caller] I mean, he's a monster, no doubt.
- No doubt.
- [Caller] No doubt.
But still, to cast off a whole genre, that kinda hurts.
(screaming)
- See, this is an awful feeling.
I hate this, okay.
The world is already filled with scary enough imagery.
I don't need to willingly subject myself
to villains and jump scares.
- Scary movies are much more than jump scares.
Don't you realize the parallels that horror has to comedy?
Building of tension.
Releasing of tension.
It shows how it makes us tick,
what makes us good, what makes us bad.
Heightening.
Holding a mirror up to society.
- Shut up!
I see that, okay!
But some people don't like comedy,
and I don't like horror.
And that's fine, okay.
Besides, horror's so cheap and campy.
- But camp is fun.
Besides, have you ever realized
that horror gets a bad rap
because any time a good horror movie comes out,
it immediately transcends the genre.
(screaming)
- Give me an example.
- Okay, like Alien, right?
Did you like Alien?
- Yeah, I guess.
- Total horror movie.
But when you go to the video store
- Video store?
- Bear with me.
When you go to the video store,
it's under the more dignified section of sci-fi.
Why is that, huh?
Why is that?
- Shut up, shut up!
Okay, look, I just hate all the gratuitous gore.
My bunny!
- Whoops.
- I hate twisted and sick imagery.
- Don't say that or I'll drink the blood of your loved ones.
- See, it's this kind of stuff that doesn't appeal to me.
In fact, it makes me feel sick and twisted
when I hear it.
- Isn't that powerful though?
That these movies have the ability
to highlight your inner darkness.
- Okay, who cares, though?
Who cares, alright?
Can't we just agree to disagree?
You like scary movies and I don't.
Alright, it's fine.
(screaming)
- I guess.
I just really think you're missing out.
Let me send you a list.
I think you'd love, Let The Right One In.
- Okay, fine, I'll watch Let The Right One In.
- Do you really mean that?
Or are you just saying that
so I'll shut up and kill you already?
- Okay, fine, yes!
I'll actually watch it.
- You won't be disappointed.
I think its gothically beautiful and has a great moral.
- Prepare to die.
Wait, before I do this,
why is it that minorities always die first in horror movies?
- I mean, I don't think that's like intentional.
I just think that the white characters
are a little more interesting
and it's just like
(squishy hitting)
- I freakin' hate scary movies.