This is the beauty of my life, there's not a thing that happened to me that I don't look at it as a
teaching learning experience and so whenever I'm going into
Any kind of crisis?
I've said this many times before I'm always looking for what is this year to teach me?
On
Thanksgiving Oprah's mom Vernita Lee passed away at age 83 a week later
We sat down with Oprah who is of course a longtime friend of People magazine and in a really emotional interview
She told us about how she said goodbye to her. Mom. I knew my mother was dying. I
Got a call from my sister
That she thought it was the end
I've been taking care of her for for a long time and she's had nurses and so forth
Over the years and even when she didn't even know she's had she's like having all these people
So anyway, I got a call from my sister and I was planning to go to
Launch Michelle Obama's book becoming in Chicago and my sister said I don't know
I think that that you know
This may be the end. She gave me a hug and it was the kind of hug that said she was saying goodbye
so I hopped on a plane and I went early and I surprised my mother and she's like
sitting in this little room where she loves sitting in this room where it's like 80 degrees and she just watches TV all day and
I surprise my mother and I went there before
The launch of becoming in Chicago to spend some time with her. I went and did the launch then I came back
To Milwaukee I flew back
so I flew in I flew then did the thing for Michelle then I flew back and
I sat with my mother and I said I
Don't know if you're gonna make it do you think you're gonna make it and she said I I don't think I am and
I had a conversation with her about what that felt like
and
What it felt like to be near the end and I started telling all the people who cared about her
That she knows it's the end. So if you want to say goodbye, you should come and say goodbye
so that's what happened and people would come in and her she would tear up and when she saw them and you could see the
appreciation and love that she felt for them and
Then I said to her what a wonderful thing to be able to say, goodbye cause she's completely coherent and perfectly
Understanding everything and then I left and I left knowing that that was going to be the last time this was on a Thursday
Because I had to speak in Boston
I stood in the doorway, and I said goodbye, and I knew it was going to be the last time I said, goodbye
Although I didn't say to her. This is the last time I'm gonna say, goodbye
so I went and I spoke in Boston in Lowell and Lowell and
We got snowed in in
Lowell and I knew that the next
Day, I had a bunch of meetings in California and I cancelled all those meetings and I went back to Milwaukee
Because I felt like I had not closed it
I felt like I knew it was the end
But I wanted to make sure she knew it was the end and that I said everything I wanted to say
So I went back and I spent some more time and I sat in that hot room and I watched the bold and the beautiful
You know watch The Young and the Restless and I watched The Price is Right
And I watched Steve Harvey and I watched Steve Harvey on the game
Challenge it in the loop and I sat in the room and I sat in Rome and I was about to lose my freakin mind
in that room
but I said I just said I just sat and I waited for a way to
Say what I wanted to say
and I couldn't I couldn't find it that day and
The next morning I woke up and I was actually praying for what is a way I can have this conversation
About the end. How do I how do I close it and
It's really interesting because I had already gotten hospice care and in the hospice care
They have the little book about the little conversations and I thought isn't it strange. I am Oprah Winfrey
Really hospice care book on what to say at the end?
and
I just thought what is the truth for me that there isn't going to be an answer in a book
What is the truth for me? What is it that I need to say? And
I was praying for a way in and I just walked in with my iPhone and something said voice said play some music
So I started playing some music I played
Mahalia Jackson popped up on my you know, Apple tunes and
I
Thought oh, that's good. Mahalia Jackson precious Lord whent Lee Phipps is a really great friend of mine
Who is a great who opened the school actually?
singing so I thought
What if I call Whitley and got him to sing?
Precious lord to her so I called when Lee and asked him to FaceTime and he facetimed
from his kitchen table
singing
Deep baritone and he
Saying precious Lord lied to her from his kitchen table and I played another one of her favorite artists
Joshua Nelson seeing me how I got over and I could see that it opened a little bit because my mother's been a very closed
Down person and I could see that the music gave me an opening
To say what I needed to say and what I said was thank you as a young girl
having a baby in
Mississippi no education, no training. No skills
17 you get pregnant with this baby. Lots of people would have told you to give that baby away
Lots of people would have told you to abort that baby and you didn't do that
And I know that was hard and I want you to know
That no matter what? I know that you always did the best you knew how to do
And look how it turned out and then I told her you should be able that. You should go you should go in. Peace
I told her because my mother has had diabetes and three years ago
she knew she should have had dialysis and she didn't want to do it and
It was her choice not to do it. I said you should do whatever your body tells you to do
Nobody's gonna force you to do what you want to do
I said you made the best decision for you, but now your body's shutting down and this is what's happening
Now the rest of your organs are gonna start to shut down your kidneys have shut down
Your organs are just kind of shut down and what you want it to be what I want it to be is as peaceful
as possible
and in that moment, my sister was in the room and
You know, my mother's had real problems since my sister came back from the adoption and my sister said, you know
Please forgive yourself because I've forgiven you for giving me away. It was just really
sacred and beautiful and
I would say to anybody
And if you live long enough, everybody goes through it say the things that you need to say while the people are still alive
so that you are not one of those people living with regret about what you would have should have could have said
So I feel complete. I feel really
Really moved by all the people who reached out to me
I got a really lovely note just yesterday from Jimmy Fallon saying my mom's up there, too
so if your mom has a party tell her to call my mom so
I feel like it was is sacred and as blessed
as a passing can be