You love JK rowling through the harry potter years
You knew her mystery novels were just a phase you swore curse child was better live
you defended her right to a
tweaks and character details after the fact you looked past all the flaws of the first fantastic beast to see its potential and now
This this is how you repay our loyalty. I am done standing for you Jake a
fantastic beasts the crimes of Grindelwald
You love the whimsical world of Harry Potter
a place where trying to kill a baby just marked him as a row okosan one now visit a new chapter where they just
Kill babies as The Wizarding World takes a full turn toward a dark universe for the bleakest
wettest
Darkest chapter yet. Ok. WB suck all the joy out of Harry Potter for Aquaman
It's the Sam cuz if this series ends up with Jacob blowing up the Ministry of Magic with a sharpie, I'm gonna be very upset
All your favorite characters from the first fantastic beasts are back like Newt Scamander
Who's gone from awkward beast lover to awkward chick magnet? Perhaps you take off your side
His lizard based love interest she has eyes just like I said him out there
Don't say that master face maker Jacob. Who's
still making those faces and the dreamy Queenie who heroically
Hypnotizes and kidnaps her boyfriend. I'm curious when you were gonna wake me up after we had five kids, huh?
Well, at least she didn't join forces with wizard Hitler
But don't worry about anyone that the first movie established as the main characters of the series
Because this one spends most of its time with characters
You've never met or cared about
With multiple flashbacks of this lady's traumatic childhood her love triangle with mood and his grim suit wearing brother
The mission of this grim suit-wearing assassin and this grim suit-wearing man who's hunting this grim suit boy from the first one
Come on, so movie is this grim-faced people in suits talking? Even Dumbledore's just Jude Law looking grim in a suit
Can we just go back to Ron Weasley making dumb faces at stuff?
What?
Thanks Weasley, but while everyone else is grimly talking the evil Grendel wall is
Also mostly just talking in living rooms on roofs in alleys in creepy
Auditoriums and while overlooking mountains at a very swanky ski lodge all to unveil his master plan
To prevent World War two a power lust how long will it take before they're turning their weapons on us?
Wait, what so what you're saying? Is that wizard Hitler make some good points
P-one. Oh boy. Is there a Hogwarts Express off this franchisor?
so toss away your wizard robes and literally suit up for a fantastic beast movie that's light on the beasts, but
Fantastically depressing and start hoping for a chosen one to show up and save this franchise
Because there's still three more of these logs to go. Tell me my story than you can end
It know what I'm tapped out on fantasy prequels Oh, what else is on?
Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings prequels follow me once all you would
Just kidding. I'm gonna watch him
starring
Emperor Palpatine
Sheldon Cooper. Hey, I'm talking in
a
Blacko son
American Horror Story a high schooler is gonna be head this lady someday fine Jude Law as Jude Law
the greater good
Great
Shots and attempting to remember the names of any of these new characters
Lee Leslie lasat faces
Eva Branagh Kedavra and wriggly sweat brow
Lieutenant Dale badinage
No, Frenchie, Mick mystery had no one name will be written him glory cool cool. But uh, like what are their names?
Her dark material
Leave it to Johnny Depp tended his vaping to the Wizarding World
Congratulations Spencer
Porsches are glorified Volkswagens, man
Slugs are just snails that can't afford housing. I'm the firestarter twisted firestarter
Can someone please tell me how I get him to say something? I want him to say
pal alert