choosing to adopt is one of the biggest
decisions that you will ever make in
your life and it won't be surprising to
feel overwhelmed at the start of it
my name's sue and I'm the chief
executive of adoption UK the charity
that speaks out for adopters and I'm
here to explain the process so that you
can understand a little bit more about
it
[Music]
what I'm going to tell you relates to
the adoption process in England for
those of you that live in Wales Scotland
or Northern Ireland's there are links in
the description that will direct you to
information about adopting in those
countries so let's talk a little bit
about adoption first in order to become
an adopter you need to be at least 21
you need to have lived in the UK for 12
months or more and of course you need
not to have had any cautions or
convictions for offences against
children or any serious sexual offences
who can adopt everybody else you can be
married you can be single you can be a
same-sex adopter you can be a
heterosexual adopter
it's also worth understanding a little
bit more about why some children need to
be adopted most children who have an
adoption plan have had a very difficult
start in life and they were removed from
families who are unable to look after
them we particularly need adopters to
come forward to offer a home for the
children who wait the longest in care
and those are children who are in
sibling groups slightly older and
perhaps five or more or from minority
ethnic groups still interested in
adoption
[Music]
then the next stage is to find yourself
an adoption agency you can adopt two
ways one through a voluntary adoption
agency which is an independent agency or
through a local authority it's worth
knowing that local authorities are
gradually moving into what are called
regional adoption agencies so you might
see that name as well once you've chosen
your agency you start a two-stage
approvals process towards being approved
as an adopter the overall process should
take around six months in stage one
which takes about two months the agency
staff will work with you to explore your
family in your background do a medical
assessment to make sure that you're fit
to parents and also undertake a criminal
records check the agency will work with
you to explore which kinds of children
you could provide a home for in any
limitations on your part or preferences
that you may have
you'll also need to provide three
referees who can vouch for you some
prospective adopters do find this to be
a very intrusive process and that's
because it is but it's worth bearing in
mind that all these checks are done with
the safety and well-being of your future
child in mind
Stage two takes about four months during
stage two you will be undergoing
training and assessment in more detail
so that you develop your understanding
of the children who need to be adopted
and of what your job as an adoptive
parent will be your working groups with
other prospective adopters on training
and preparation courses you'll also have
home visits by social workers who will
come into your home spend more time
talking to you and understanding your
approach to adoption and also assess
your home at the end of stage two all
your information will be compiled into a
prospective adopter aport this is the
report that goes forward to the adoption
panel to make a decision on whether you
should be approved to become an adopter
it's worth saying that you can choose to
leave or pause the process at any stage
if you need to and it's also worth
knowing that at every stage it might be
possible that you no longer meet the
criteria that the agency are looking for
it's unlikely but it's worth knowing
being approved to become an adopter is a
red-letter day in the lives of most
prospective adopters and once that's
done you can move on to the process of
matching with your future child there
are two ways of being matched with a
child one is foster to adopt where a
child who is likely to need to be
adopted in the future often a very young
child is placed with you as a foster
carer first of all and you look after
the child while they go to the final
stage of their plan to adopt once the
child has a plan to adopt at that point
your placement becomes an adoptive
placement in a foster to adopt placement
the advantage is that the child has
fewer moves and less disruption and
trauma the other way is a straight
adoption when you are matched with the
child who has an adoption plan once the
child has their adoption plan in place
you'll become their adoptive parent
during the matching process the child
needs to be protected from all the
uncertainty that a potential move might
bring and therefore you're very unlikely
to meet your prospective child what's
more likely is that you will see a video
some photographs and of course you'll
see the child's report and understand
more about their background and
temperament and the reasons why they're
being placed for adoption you have the
right to decline any match that doesn't
feel right to you and of course that is
what you should do but when everybody
has agreed that a match has been found
the proposer will go to a matching panel
run by your agency and they will make
the final decision on whether that child
should be placed with you as their
parents
an approved match is an even bigger red
letter day and this heralds the new
stage of introductions and moving in the
process for meeting your child and
moving them in will be agreed with your
social worker and the child's social
worker in general you won't just meet
them and take them at home we wanted to
go a process working with the child's
foster carer of getting to know them and
allowing them to get to know you with a
younger child you might give them a
blanket that you've slept with or a
cuddly toy to keep in their beds to
familiarize them with your smell with an
older child you might provide them with
a photo album or a video introducing
them to you and your family and home
you'll visit them in their foster
placement and gradually get to know them
and reciprocal visits may be arranged
building up to an overnight stay before
finally they move into your home as your
child but even though the child is now
living with you the adoption process
isn't yet complete after a minimum of 10
weeks you will apply through the courts
for an adoption order with the help of
your social worker the judge will review
the child's placement history and make a
decision on whether to approve you
finally as that child's parents and that
point all parental responsibility passes
to you and you are no legally different
and if you had given birth to the child
so now you're an adoptive family and of
course this is where the fun and games
really begin many adopters will tell you
that parenting an adopted child is
different from parenting a birth child
these are children who have gone through
trauma and you are at least their second
family
many adoptive parents look into
therapeutic parenting and need to learn
how to parent their own particular child
according to their own particular needs
it's a rich and rewarding journey but
it's not without its struggles if I had
to give one piece of advice to any
prospective adopter it would be this you
don't need to follow any of the rule
books get to know your child's look into
therapeutic parenting understand what
they need and follow your instincts I
wish you many happy years with your
adoptive family
I hope you found this video helpful
don't forget to subscribe to Mumsnet