With eight-patty burgers, humongous hot dogs, and butterfat milkshakes, there are many wildly
over-the-top menu items at the Heart Attack Grill. But how do these meaty monstrosities stack up?
Keep watching to see which menu item spanks the rest, in true Heart Attack Grill fashion!
Meet the eight-patty Octuple Bypass! This monstrosity clocks in at 1.5 feet tall,
weighs 4 pounds, and has a whopping 20,000 calories. If you feel inclined,
you can also add bacon to each layer to increase the calories even more.
But how does a burger with eight patties taste? Well just like a burger with one patty, only
intensified. It might be a lot of fun to dig into with friends, but these burgers are not meant to
be ordered and shared amongst the table. In fact, there is a rule printed on the menu forbidding it.
One Yelp reviewer described the burgers as a "salt bomb." The same reviewer said the
cooking technique on the patties could use some work as well, writing the following.
"They were cooked well done, but surprisingly didn't have a good sear."
If you have a desire to drum up a lot of attention,
go for it. But if you're craving a really good, big burger, you can skip this one.
One Yelp reviewer wasn't too pleased that the Heart Attack Grill doesn't
offer much flexibility for burger doneness.
"They only offer well-done burgers. [...] The well-done burger is dry,
dry. There is nothing really good about this burger. You are paying more for an experience."
Also, keep in mind that all of the other refreshing components included in your
typical fast-food burger, like lettuce, pickles, and mayo are nowhere to be found on Heart Attack
Grill burgers. That makes their extremely large burgers taste even drier. The Septuple Bypass
Burger is all style with little substance - and flavor - so we're rating the seven-patty burger…
"Two thumbs down."
Less is definitely more when it comes to burgers.
If we're speaking in terms of pure gluttony, six patties are not much better than seven.
So if you're someone who likes to go against the grain or prove someone else wrong,
then you may want to try Heart Attack Grill's Sextuple Bypass Burger. But if you're just a
run-of-the-mill burger lover looking for a deliciously exciting burger, keep looking.
This burger falls into the same traps as the other larger burgers — not enough sauce,
too much dry meat, and overall, too salty. It's large for the sake of being large,
not because more patties bring more flavor. Order this for shock value or because you want
a spanking from the nurses because there's no way you'll order this just for sheer enjoyment.
A Yelp reviewer summed up the experience of
eating any burger at the Heart Attack Grill in one sentence.
"I could make this burger more delicious by adding spices to the burger."
The Yelp reviewer was describing the Quintuple Bypass burger, and it seems
to be a universal thought that the burgers are missing a very important ingredient: flavor.
The chili should add a kick, some interest, some sauciness, and moisture, but sadly, it does not.
You could eat this entire burger if you feel motivated, but our suggestion
is to subtract one patty from whatever you think you can reasonably eat and order that.
That way you can avoid being paddled. Unless you're into that sort of thing, of course.
At the Heart Attack Grill, the fries are deep-fried in lard. Would
you expect anything less? They've been compared to McDonald's fries,
so you can expect a thin and crunchy fry when you order them plain.
"This lard is gonna go melt itself into those fries."
They're tasty enough but nothing spectacular, and you may need to add some salt.
If, however, you order them topped with chili and cheese or chili, cheese, and bacon, they'll lose
a little bit of structure. They certainly come out of the kitchen looking tempting,
but the texture falls flat shortly after arriving at the table. This is a matter of preference,
of course, because soggy fries are the perfect fries to eat with a fork. But the reason these
don't get a higher position is because the addition of chili doesn't boost their flavor.
One Yelp reviewer was able to pinpoint the exact reason the chili gets a downvote, saying:
"The lard flavor in the chili leaves a strange feeling in the mouth."
When a hot dog is made well, there's little that can top it. From the soft bun to the crisp skin
to the toppings, it just screams summertime indulgence. The Heart Attack Grill tried
their hand at one of America's favorite snacks, and like everything they serve up,
the hot dog is larger than life. One Yelp reviewer said this of the hulking hotdog.
"Beware the hotdog is NOT a smaller portion option,
this is the largest hotdog I have ever seen!"
So if you're thinking of ordering an item that has a more reasonable portion size,
think again, because the half-pound Coronary Dog is far from reasonable.
As with the Heart Attack Grill's burgers, you have the option to top your hotdog with chili,
cheese, and/or bacon, as well.
But unfortunately, the Heart Attack Grill has overdone it on the salt this time.
One Trip Advisor reviewer spoke on the saltiness of the Coronary Dog, saying the following.
"I got the hotdog as well which was massive, but EXTREMELY salty.
I love salty foods; but by the end of the hot dog, it was too much."
The hot dog buns are also plain and dry. There are no frills here,
so don't expect any sort of fancy sauce to bring any kind of balance and moisture.
Overall, it's not bad, but at the end of the day, it's just a really big hot dog.
In 2012, the Quadruple Bypass Burger made Guinness World Record history
as the most calorific burger commercially available with its very own page on the
Guinness World Records website. It is indeed 9,982 calories…
"Whooooooa!"
And the goal is for diners to finish it in one sitting. It's not clear why the larger five,
six, seven, and eight-patty burgers have not made the Guinness Book of World Records,
but perhaps they haven't been submitted.
Four patties are still probably too much food for the average person to comfortably consume,
but its completion is more attainable than Heart Attack Grill's other options.
If you're feeling up for it, you can always add on some optional bacon slices — 20 to be
exact. The burger is a hair above average, but not outstanding. If you go with the intention
to have a great time and stuff yourself silly, you will probably enjoy this burger.
Three half-pound beef patties are just the right
size to hold in your hand and actually take a bite out of.
With three half-pound patties, the burger meat maintains some balance with the bun. Because of
this balance, along with the gooey, melty cheese, the burger is not totally dry, as is the case with
some of the larger burgers on this list. Each burger comes topped with chili, onion, tomato,
and cheese, but bacon, as always, is an option for a little extra cash. If you do order bacon
on the Triple Bypass Burger, you'll end up with 15 pieces of crispy goodness atop your burger.
The Triple Bypass Burger strikes a decent balance of filling, flavor,
and fun, but for us, the ratio between meat, bun, and toppings could still be improved.
Heart Attack Grill's Single Bypass Burger is for the timid who don't want to tackle the
larger burgers. It's also the purest expression of the burger and the best way to really taste
just how good of a burger the Heart Attack Grill can make. The good news
is that it's a decent burger. As mentioned previously, there's no requesting doneness,
so if you're a lover of rare burgers, you're out of luck.
The salt-to-meat ratio is perfect in the Single Bypass Burger
because there's just one half-pound patty on a bun. It's a good starting
point for the rest of the menu and also just the right size to pair with sides.
Yet another Heart Attack Grill menu item deep-fried in pure lard
is the onion rings. If you plan to order these, expect a portion large enough to feed
three or four diners. They're absolutely delicious and crisped to perfection,
not dripping in grease like you might expect from a product cooked in lard. And if you've
ever had ill-prepared onion rings, then you know how important the filling is. The onion inside
these is cooked wonderfully and has a little bite while also being soft enough to be enjoyable.
If you have to choose between the fries and the onion rings,
do yourself a favor and order the onion rings. You'll be so happy you did.
The larger format burgers are a bit overwhelming. You might say they're too much of a good thing.
But the smaller format burgers are a more realistic way to approach a burger from the
Heart Attack Grill. The Double Bypass Burger is perhaps the perfect balance between extreme
and realistic. It includes two patties with your choice of chili, cheese, and/or bacon.
There's less topple risk with the smaller burgers so you'll be able to manage this
and also take a solid bite. If the meat is the main star of a burger,
then the bun is the most important supporting cast member. The bun of the double stayed in
one piece and held up against the chili and the grease from the two patties.
While the Double Bypass Burger isn't groundbreaking by any stretch,
at the Heart Attack Grill, you come for the burgers and stay for the experience.
We know that the star of a burger joint should be the burgers, but we just couldn't waste this
opportunity to highlight the deliciousness that is the Heart Attack Grill's Butterfat Milkshake. They
come in either chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry and can be topped with whipped cream vodka.
These regular-looking milkshakes are actually butterfat shakes and to highlight that fact,
they add a thick pat of butter atop your shake. Butterfat is the fat that's in
cream. It adds flavor, texture, and color to butter. Needless to say, it is rather rich
and any shake made with butterfat will also be rich and creamy.
"Our restaurant serves bad-for-you food. Other restaurants serve bad-for-you food.
We're honest. They're not."
Beyond just its flavor, we love the shake because it's the perfect option
if you don't want to commit to an entire sit-down meal. You can order a shake to
go and still get a feel for the vibe of the Heart Attack Grill.
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