[Android 19 reading the above]
[Please keep these captions clean for those who need them. Funny extras can be added to the English (Canada) subs. Thank you!]
[Android 19 says "Ow" repeatedly as Goku pummels him]
OLD ANDROID: Are you afraid...?
It's okay, you know... to feel that creeping, seizing fear...
Not everyone faces their deaths so openly...
I'll admit, your composure is admirable, even in the face of your inevitable demise...
Death's gaze squarely on you...
You still keep calm, cool...
...and oh, for God's sakes, Nineteen!
THROW A F*CKING PUNCH!
♫
♫ Cha la! Head cha la! ♫
♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫
♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai! ♫
♫ Sparking! ♫
♫
[Goku v. Android 19 goes on as before...]
GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo! What have we missed?!
PICCOLO: Well, your father is currently handing the Pillsbury Dough-Bot its generous white ass.
OA: Yes, well, your feeble understanding of our abilities would lead you to believe such.
But Nineteen has yet to truly demonstrate his full killing proficiency.
Nineteen! Attack from the left!
ANDROID 19: Higher.
Ouch.
[Battle resumes as before] OA: No! My left!
As I was saying...
Nineteen is merely lulling your comrade into a false sense of security...
And once we--
Nineteen, dodge!
19: Beginning dodge protocol--
ouch.
[And again...] OA: Why is dodging a subroutine?! It's not that complex!
OA: Why is dodging a subroutine?! It's not that complex!
GOHAN: What?
What?!
OA: Regardless...
Once we've secured our vantage point, Android 19 will move in for the kill.
And your precious Son Goku will feel the full sting of my vengeance!
19: Ow...
OA: Hm...
A moment.
Nineteen, would you stop messing around?!
GOKU: Ka...!
Me...!
OA: Oh, that's distressing.
Nineteen, respond! Immediately!
GOKU: Ha...!
Me...!
OA: Nineteen, what are you, in safe mode?!
Start responding this instant, before I shove my boot
Up!
Up! Your!
Up! Your! Arse!
19: Reboot completed.
GOKU: HAAAA!
19: "Murder.exe" fully online.
OA: Oh.
Bully.
GOKU: Huh... didn't seem to work...
Don't worry guys, I'll try again.
Double strength!
Ka...!
Me...!
YAMCHA: Goku, don't! They can absorb your energy!
PICCOLO: Hold on a sec.
Did you know?!
YAMCHA: Well, yeah, I felt it when the old man was holding me earlier...
TIEN: And you couldn't have said anything before because...?
YAMCHA: Hey, gimme a break. I've already been through enough crap today...
and if I wanted to be bitched at, I would've stayed with Bulma and the baby.
KRILLIN: Yeah guys, lay off him. He needs this like he needs a hole in the chest.
Ehhh?
Ehhh?!
GOKU [off-screen]: I get it!
OA: And he's got you!
GOKU: Oh hey... can I have that energy back--
Huah! Huah!
GOHAN: Dad!
GOKU: Ahh!
Guys... I don't want to make a scene...
But I'm pretty sure I'm dying...
GOHAN: What's going on?! He hasn't used that much energy!
GOKU: Krillin! A Senzu Bean!
KRILLIN: SENZU BEAN!
GOKU: Thanks, buddy!
*Oh, God, it made it worse...*!
PICCOLO: Goku! What's wrong?!
GOKU: Chest hurts... hard to breathe...
PICCOLO: How's your arm?!
GOKU: Dunno... can't feel it...
Is that normal...?
PICCOLO: So, Goku's having a heart attack.
GOHAN: Dad! You took the medicine, right?!
GOKU: Yeah...! Well, I mean...
I started to...
GOHAN: Started to--
...What?
You mean you *stopped*?
Why did you *stop*?!
GOKU: Because it was *grape*-flavor-herd...!
Fahh!
KRILLIN: Did he just knock the Super Saiyan out of him...?
GOKU: Piccolo! Tag in!
PICCOLO: Huuaarr--
PICCOLO: Huuaarr-- AGH!
GOKU: Gohan! Tag in!
[Squish] Agh!
(Continues to groan in pain)
OA: Well boys, I can't say it hasn't been fun.
In fact, if I still had a penis, it would be quite auspicious that we are wearing baggy pants.
But enough about hypothetical erections...
Nineteen!
Nineteen! Suck!
Nineteen! Suck! Him!
Nineteen! Suck! Him! Dry!
KRILLIN [o-s]: Ha ha!
GOHAN: No! Dad!
VEGETA [o-s, decreasingly distant]: Mine mine mine...! (Repeats ad nauseam)
KRILLIN: Does anyone else hear that? VEGETA [o-s, decreasingly distant]: Mine mine mine...! (Repeats ad nauseam)
YAMCHA: Yeah, and it's getting closer... VEGETA [o-s, decreasingly distant]: Mine mine mine...! (Repeats ad nauseam)
TIEN: And it sounds an awful lot like... VEGETA [o-s, decreasingly distant]: Mine mine mine...! (Repeats ad nauseam)
19: Ouch.
VEGETA: ...Mine.
PICCOLO: And the Prodigal Asshole returns!
GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo!
PICCOLO: I *wanted* to wait for an opening on the Android, so I faked my injury.
But now he's here.
GOHAN: Wait, so you weren't actually wounded?
PICCOLO: No, but I got a better question:
Where was *my* Senzu Bean?!
KRILLIN: SENZU BEAN!
GOKU: Hey, Vegeta...
VEGETA: Kakarot, you idiot. What are you doing?
GOKU: Dying... mostly...
Little help...?
Ugh!
GOKU: Thanks, best buddy...!
Ugh.
GOHAN: Come on, Dad. We'll get you home, and give you the medicine.
YAMCHA: No, let me do it.
Let's be honest - if I stay, I'll probably just get in the way.
TIEN: Yep.
PICCOLO: Probably.
GOHAN: No offense.
VEGETA: Why are you even here?!
KRILLIN: SENZU BEAN!
YAMCHA: ...You know what? Have fun.
19: Primary threat escaping...
19: Primary threat escaping... two kilometers...
19: Primary threat escaping... two kilometers... three kilometers...
VEGETA: Excuse me, but your primary threat is right here.
19: ...Six kilometers...
19: ...Six kilometers... seven kilometers...
VEGETA: Am I being ignored?
OA: Don't mind him, he's programmed to only respond to my command.
Nineteen, forget about Son Goku; we can finish him at our leisure.
For now, focus on...
Who are you again?
19: Scanning...
Vegeta. Prince of all Saiyans.
OA: Oh, of course. How could I forget?
Nineteen, take care of him.
19: Understood.
VEGETA: Oh-ho-ho! This is precious!
You expect to beat me with this automa-ton of fun?!
19: Registering insult.
Retort: You are short and your hairline is receding.
VEGETA [sarcastic]: Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Scathing.
OA: Your confidence is noted, Vegeta.
But Son Goku was able to achieve a form far beyond anything we'd ever seen before...
and we still beat him!
And, Nineteen has extensive knowledge of all your techniques.
VEGETA: Oh, is that right?
Quite the cutting-edge piece of tech you've got there.
But I'm curious...
Can it feel fear?
19: Scanning...
Processing...
Results inconclusive.
VEGETA: Let's fix that, shall we?
Haaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh...!!
OA: SERIOUSLY! WHAT THE F*CK IS *NAMEK*?!
VEGETA: HEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...!!
[♫ Rock music ♫]
GOHAN: But how?!
I thought you had to have a pure heart to become a Super Saiyan! Like my Dad!
VEGETA: Oh trust me, there's more than one way to realize the legend.
I wanna!
I wanna! I wanna be a Super Saiyan!
I wanna! I wanna be a Super Saiyan! I wanna!
I wanna! I wanna be a Super Saiyan! I wanna! I wanna!
I wanna! I wanna be a Super Saiyan! I wanna! I wanna! I wanna!
I wanna! I wanna be a Super Saiyan! I wanna! I wanna! I wanna! I wanna!
I wanna! I wanna be a Super Saiyan! I wanna! I wanna! I wanna! I wanna! I wanna I wanna!
Push-ups, sit-ups, and plenty of juice.
And besides, my heart is pure...
Pure...
Pure... unadulterated...
Pure... unadulterated... badass.
TIEN: Yeah, more like pure unadulterated ego.
VEGETA [o-s]: I heard that, Triclops!
TIEN: Is that okay?
VEGETA: As a matter of fact, go f*ck yourself!
Now where was I--
Hm... what a shame...
Looks like you just initiated your self-destruct sequence.
Let me give you a countdown.
Five!
19: Ouch.
Ow. Ow.
OA: 'Did I just see his *foot*?!'
VEGETA: Well, well, well. Looks like I'm a size 19.
Four!
19: Ahhh!
VEGETA: So, have you rusted your pants yet?!
Three!
OA: 'Damn it!'
'No... don't panic.'
'Everything will turn out dandy as long as Android 19 can grab Vegeta and steal his energy.'
VEGETA: You know, I'm sure there was an advantage to building a fat robot, but for the life of me, I just don't see it.
19: Proximity breached.
"Trap.exe" activated.
OA: Yes! That's it, Nineteen! Do not let go of him, no matter what!
Drain him until he's a shriveled up prune of a corpse!
19: Parameters recognized.
Grip locked.
VEGETA: "Locked", huh?
Well, guess I'm not going anywhere for a while...
Hurrh!
How's about I get a workout in?
That's right - I'm gonna do squats all over your *face*!
19: Initiating...
19: Initiating... energy...
19: Initiating... energy... drain...
VEGETA: Aw, how adorable.
So you want my energy then?
Tell you what - take as much as you want!
In exchange, I'll take your hands!
Two!
19: Error...!
19: Error...! Error...!
19: Error...! Error...! Error...!
19: Error...! Error...! Error...! Error! Error!
VEGETA: So then, before I put down the clown, let's put it to bed, shall we?
Do you feel fear, Android?
19: No, please!
Get away!
Leave me alone!
VEGETA: All I needed to hear.
19: No no no no
19: No no no no no no no no
19: No no no no no no no no no no no no
19: No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!
VEGETA: *One*.
BIG BANG ATTACK!!
19: No no no no no no no!
No...!
Your 30-day trial has expired.
Would you like to...
Would you like to... purchase...
Would you like to... purchase... Win...
Would you like to... purchase... Win... RAR...?
KRILLIN [o-s]: SENZU BEAN!
VEGETA: Ah, now that we have Chuckles the Assclown out of the picture, how about we tend to the elderly--
...The f*ck'd he go?!
♫
Urgh... whatever.
Baldy, pass me a Senzu Bean!
KRILLIN: What, do you think I'm just *giving* these away?!
...'Cause I'm not.