(quirky music)
(dynamic music)
- Ms. Seabird, interviewing here is a dream come true.
I have been dying to work for a female driven brand.
- Yes!
That is what Seabird is all about.
Empowering women and selling them makeup.
- And can I just say,
as one of the few female CEOs of a global company,
you're, like, my role model.
- Oh, thanks queen.
Honestly, it is amazing to be an inspiration
to young girls everywhere.
The key to success is to know who you are
and own it, okay.
So you definitely have the qualifications
for our rock star assistant position.
- Ms. Seabird, this is your 3:15 lemonade.
I hope the ice is better.
(crash)
- I said good ice!
- (crying)
- So for start date, um-
- Sorry, um, who was that?
- Oh, that was Carla, our rock star intern.
And one day she's gonna be a CEO.
And I'm not just saying that because she's my niece.
- Why did, why did you berate her though?
- I'm malicious and I own it!
- Sorry you own?
- Who I am, what I do, terrorizing my employees,
and I'll never apologize.
'Cause I woke up like this, flawless.
- I don't want to overstep but, like,
we do have to apologize sometimes.
Like, for example, she was crying.
- Okay, well I'm just being me,
I can't be responsible for how people react to me, so...
- Don't take this the wrong way but
I thought you were a feminist.
- Of course I am.
Lemme ask you a question.
Who run this mother?
- Girls.
- Girls!
- Yeah, you just keep bringing up, sort of,
pop culture stuff that doesn't exactly-
- I love Katy Perry and all women.
So I don't know what the problem is.
- Isn't that her song?
- Oh, Ms. Seabird, I have your 3:16 lunch ready.
- What the hell did I tell you about wearing red?
You look like a ketchup bottle.
You're fired.
- (crying)
- What the hell?
- Mm, she was a really good employee.
And a new mom.
- Jesus.
- I'm sorry.
Not sorry!
- In all the press you do,
you talk about what an amazing workplace this is for women
but you're a straight up abusive boss.
Yeah, you just mask it in these feminist catch phrases.
- Hey, sure, I'm tough!
Sure, I'm demanding.
Sure, I lie to my shareholders.
But Seabird is an amazing workplace for women.
You know why?
Mimosa Tuesdays.
Every Tuesday we have free mimosas!
(phone ringing)
One sec.
Yes, queen.
Oh, you're being hysterical.
I'm not sleeping with your husband, you're my best friend.
You're nuts.
Before you jump to any conclusions,
I am sleeping with my best friend's husband and I own it!
- So you're a bad friend too.
- So in some ways we're like a global corporation
but in others we're like a start up.
No paid family leave but free mimosas!
Here you go.
- Wow, you are-
- Thanks!
Whatever you're gonna say, I own it.
- I was gonna say that you're a monster.
And you acting like this is somehow good for women
is setting us all back, okay?
I don't think I should work here.
In fact, I don't think anyone should work here.
You're completely unfit to lead.
But I'm spineless and I own it.
- Yes.
- Um, so I'll see you Monday.
- Oh, yes you will!
And you'll never leave!
- [Interviewee] Oh, that's not good.
- I'm your mom now.
(record scratch)
- Hey, it's Lily.
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Did you do the math from earlier?
And if you did, can you tell me how much it was?
'Cause I'm bad with numbers.
Five, five times one.