SCP-3889 The Greatest Fisherman Who Ever Lived
Object Class keter
Item #: SCP-3889
Anomaly Class: Keter
Threat Level: ● Red
Special Containment Procedures: Direct physical containment of SCP-3889 is not currently possible.
As of the time of this document's creation, general knowledge and influence of SCP-3889
has not extended beyond the eastern coast of the central United States of America, namely
the states of Maryland, Virginia, and North Carolina, and as such current secondary containment
measures are considered adequate until investigation yields a feasible mechanism for its physical
containment.
All major piers, wharves, shipyards, harbors, marinas, and commercial fisheries in this
region, including their surrounding waters extending to 5 kilometers from the coastline,
will be monitored by Naval Task Force Sigma-58 “Bottomfeeders” in conjunction with Foundation
naval assets for secondhand accounts of SCP-3889's exploits, as well to contain and neutralize
any aftereffects of event 3889-TEHOM.
Disinformation initiative 3889-WHOPPER is to be continually disseminated across social
media and local news networks for the purposes of dismissing accounts of SCP-3889's activities
as a series of exaggerated “fisherman's stories” or tall tales.
Foundation agents are under standing orders to employ any means necessary to prevent SCP-3889
from undergoing event 3889-TEHOM.
Description: SCP-3889 is Henry “Hank” McAllister, a retired independent fisherman
born and primarily active in the central-eastern coastal region of the United States of America.
All available records place SCP-3889's date of birth as November 27, 1849, though this
fact has, for unknown reasons, not been a cause for alarm or interest for any administration
within which this information is retained.
SCP-3889 claims to not know its actual age, though its physical appearance is consistent
with that of an average male Caucasian octogenarian.
SCP-3889 is consistently referred to, by individuals within nautical subcommunities where it is
known, by its epithetical name within local folklore, “Haulin' Hank”, or less positively
as "the Gray Angler".
This is presumed to be due to the spectacle caused by lesser 3889-TEHOM events and not
the result of any direct memetic influence.
All attempts to apprehend SCP-3889 have met with failure.
When approached by a Foundation asset that intends to arrest, detain, or otherwise impede
SCP-3889, it will generally state an aphorism such as “You can't bottle a squall, son”
or “Only fool catch takes fool bait”, whereupon SCP-3889 will vanish.
In its place, a Foundation agent currently assigned to SCP-3889 will appear, in whatever
pose or posture adopted by SCP-3889 before its disappearance.
This effect appears to have no limitations based on distance or mass, and is instantaneous,
with the arriving agent generally in a state of confusion, but otherwise unharmed.
The arriving agent will also have some item of fishing paraphernalia on their person.
This is generally presented in a humiliating or degrading fashion, such as a fishing float
inserted into a nostril, or a number of lead sinkers of sufficient weight left in the pockets
to cause the agent's pants to disengage from the waist.
At an average of 6 times per year, SCP-3889 will undergo a 3889-TEHOM event.
This is defined as SCP-3889 using a fishing rod to cast a line into a body of water with
the intent to secure a catch.
The body of water in question must be at least brackish in composition, and the locations
appear to be selected by SCP-3889 at random: these have included river deltas, public beaches,
isolated and unused coastal areas, and uninhabited islands kilometers from the main coastline.
After a period of time varying from the shortest recorded of 32 seconds to the longest of 3h44m55s,
the float of SCP-3889's fishing line will bob once, whereupon SCP-3889 will reel in
its catch, then disappear.
No upper limit has yet been found to the strength and durability of SCP-3889's body and equipment
during 3889-TEHOM events.
Selected examples of 3889-TEHOM events and resultant entities follows.
Date Location TEHOM Entity Retrieved Aftermath 21 March 1944 Baltimore, Maryland Entity designated
TEHOM-01.
Entity physically resembles an amorphous mass of musculoskeletal tissue, roughly 33 meters
high and 53 meters wide at its base.
TEHOM-01 emerges from the littoral zone roughly 4 kilometers away from the city outskirts.
Entity neutralized via bombardment by offshore Foundation naval assets.
Remains sublimated into vapor upon “death” of entity; none recoverable.
57 civilian casualties, estimated $1,450,000 in property damage.
Amnestics administered to local populace; destruction attributed to misfire during military
weapons test.
08 February 1967 Delmarva Peninsula, eastern coast Entity designated TEHOM-15.
Entity physically resembles a mass of human corpses in various states of decomposition,
molded into a form superficially resembling a specimen of the genus Octopoda, with an
estimated height of 29 meters and a width of 107 meters.
Entity emerges from coastal waters and proceeds inland.
Foundation naval assets alerted; entity subsequently neutralized via conjoined aerial and naval
bombardment.
No civilian casualties, no significant damage inflicted.
TEHOM-15 remains examined and determined to consist entirely of the corpses of individuals
declared deceased within a 350 kilometer radius over the course of the previous year.
Investigation into intended burial locations of recovered human remains revealed thousands
of undisturbed graves with caskets whole, but remains missing.
15 July 1999 Tar River delta, North Carolina Seemingly non-anomalous specimen of Cetorhinus
maximus, approximately 7.5 meters in length.
None, save for article in local newspaper detailing “Mystery Angler” inexplicably
landing specimen, then disappearing.
Event publicly attributed to combination of happenstance, dubious reporting, and errant
behavior on behalf of specimen.
24 December 2011 Uninhabited islet east of Cape Hatteras, North Carolina Entity designated
TEHOM-41.
Entity physically resembles a male human corpse in an advanced state of decomposition, with
notable alterations to its physiology, most significant being a maximum height of approximately
64 meters from the surface of the water (entity's body from "waist" down was submerged), and
the presence of dozens of long, tentacular structures emerging from the entity's back
and neck.
TEHOM-41 immediately engaged by patrolling Foundation naval assets.
Entity inflicts significant damage upon engaging forces, by lashing vessels with its limbs
and tendrils.
Initial battle group is routed; no weapon deployed by Foundation forces able to inflict
visible damage upon TEHOM-41.
Authorization of ERESHKIGAL-class tactical thermonuclear clusterfire munitions requested,
and approved by SCPNF central command.
TEHOM-41 neutralized.
107 Foundation casualties.
Estimated $400,000,000 in tactical assets lost, including 7 ships and 2 aircraft destroyed.
Remains towed offshore and examined.
Entity found to possess unknown triple-helical genetic structure.
Analysis ongoing.
Disinformation protocol 3889-GREENFLASH enacted.
In all other scenarios, SCP-3889 can be freely interacted with and has not posed a direct
threat to Foundation personnel, save for the aftereffects following a 3889-TEHOM event.
Interviews with SCP-3889 are possible, though it typically evades queries related to its
anomalous properties.
Most notable example follows.
Date: 09 August, 2013 Interviewer: NTF Sigma-58 Agent Danielle Torres
Interviewee: SCP-3889 Location: Waterside Marina, Chesapeake VA,
USA.
Foundation alerted by intercepted local police traffic concerning an “elderly vagrant with
a fishing pole” loitering on the marina grounds.
Video captured by Agent Torres's chest camera.
(Agent Torres approaches SCP-3889 from the rear.
SCP-3889 is seated on the edge of a wooden boat slip at the far end of the marina, legs
hanging toward the water.
SCP-3889's fishing rod and tacklebox are situated on the pier next to it.)
Agent Torres: Hank?
(SCP-3889 turns slightly, and regards Agent Torres briefly before turning back around.)
SCP-3889: Well hey there, young lady.
Fine evening we've got so far, huh?
(Agent Torres remains still, approximately 5 meters from SCP-3889.)
Agent Torres: Um.
Yeah, I guess you could say that.
(Pause.
Agent Torres begins to speak, but is interrupted by SCP-3889.)
SCP-3889: Why don't you come and sit with me a bit?
Agent Torres: I'm not sure I should do that.
SCP-3889: Oh, c'mon.
I barely got any teeth left, I can't bite ya.
Old-timers like me don't get to talk to pretty girls like you as often as you'd think.
C'mon, take a load off.
We'll watch the sun go.
(Agent Torres hesitates, but is given authorization to engage by NTF Sigma-58 central command.
She approaches SCP-3889 and sits on the pier next to it, approximately one meter away.
Agent Torres is instructed to allow SCP-3889 to speak first, and as a result there is silence
for the next 4m22s.)
SCP-3889: You come to try to lock me up today?
Agent Torres: No, Hank.
Not today.
SCP-3889: Heh.
Well alrighty.
And good thing too, I'd hate to have to leave right this second.
My knees are killin' something fierce.
(Pause)
Agent Torres: Can I ask you a question?
SCP-3889: Shoot.
Agent Torres: Are you aware of the fact that what you do sometimes hurts people?
Sometimes kills them?
(SCP-3889 sighs.
It reaches into its jacket pocket and removes a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
It then lights a cigarette and draws once before continuing.)
SCP-3889: Yeah.
I know it.
Goddammit.
(SCP-3889 smokes silently for a short period of time, showing signs of mild emotional distress.)
SCP-3889: I try, darlin'.
I really do.
I go to lonely spots when I can feel a bad one on the other end, but sometimes I just
don't guess well enough, or they trick me.
I've never been a clever man, but cross my heart, I ain't out to hurt no one.
Honest to God, sweetheart, I don't like it anymore than you do.
I like it best when it's right in the middle.
Something amazing, but… y'know.
Harmless.
Like when I landed that bigmouth shark awhile back.
Hah.
You see that big sucker?
Think they put it in the papers.
Agent Torres: I did, actually.
The footage, at least.
I don't really know how you were able to pull a basking shark out of a three-meter wide
estuary channel.
SCP-3889: Yeah.
It's, uh… complicated.
But hot damn if it isn't fun.
Times like those is when I get to feel like a real man again.
A little bit of pride.
Give all the folks out there a show, a story to tell, make 'em think about how beautiful
the sea can be on the inside.
Of course I'm actually a big ol' cheater, but they don't have to know that, do they.
(SCP-3889 laughs.)
Agent Torres: If you know that there's a risk, then why do you keep doing it?
Wouldn't it ultimately be better to just stop?
(Pause.
SCP-3889 shakes its head.)
SCP-3889: Much as I wish it was different, it doesn't work that way.
First off, I'm a fisherman, ma'am.
True, I've got an unfair advantage these days, but my catch is the meanest, nastiest, most
twisted-up bunch of sons-a-bitches ever spawned.
And it's this geezer givin' em what for.
I'm not one for tootin' my own horn, but honey, I'm the greatest goddamn fisherman that ever
lived.
It's all I've ever done and it's all I ever will be.
If I give it up, I'll just be a dried up old man that Death forgot about.
And secondly…
(Pause)
SCP-3889: I'll put it this way.
If your boss came through that little gadget in your ear and told you to try to shoot me
right now, would you do it?
(Pause.
SCP-3889 smiles during the silence.)
Agent Torres: … I guess I would.
SCP-3889: Yep.
You got a duty, even if you don't like the way it tastes sometimes.
And so do I. I was given a gift.
Or a curse, depending on how you wanna look at it.
I gotta trick these bastards and catch 'em up, hook line and sinker, 'cause for better
or for worse, I'm the only one that can.
It pains me to see people get hurt because of it, but I still gotta.
I know you boys and girls in uniform are tough enough to wrangle 'em and put 'em in their
place, and you do, every time.
(SCP-3889 looks toward the sun, and grins.)
No matter what they think, we got tough-as-nails fighters on our little world, no mistake.
And it makes me damn proud to see.
I got to keep finding 'em, I can't just quit, and neither can the rest of you.
I've gotta hook 'em, and you've gotta cook 'em!
Heh.
Who am I kiddin', you're just gonna keep peckin' me until I spill the beans.
You wanna know why I can't ever, ever stop?
And why you folks need to keep one good eye out as long as you can, 'til the very last
man?
Agent Torres: Yes.
We want to know.
(SCP-3889 sighs.)
SCP-3889: 'Cause as heavy as our burden is now, the ones I fish are just the babies.
Addendum: Continued observations of SCP-3889 have revealed that SCP-3897 has manifested
within 15 kilometers of every 3889-TEHOM event recorded since 2012.
When questioned about this, SCP-3889 commented, "Yep.
They're gettin' worse.
And now she's watchin' me."
SCP-3889 declined to elaborate before vanishing.
Investigation into SCP-3889's correlation to SCP-3897, SCP-3983, and all related phenomena
is currently underway.