- So, I met her outside of the cafeteria.
- Okay.
- She's like, super cute--
- So, whaaaat are we talkin' about?
- June's new crush!
- Ohh!
You got another crush?
- Okay, look, this one, she is British.
And you guys know how much I love the Brits.
- [Female Friend] You mean, her?
- Yeah, that, that, that's her.
- All right y'all, all right y'all,
settle down, settle down, guys.
We have a new addition to the troupe.
She'll be joining anybody that might be needing a partner,
if anybody's willing to take her in?
- June!
June doesn't have a partner,
you were just talking about that, right?
- Bridget, June is perfect.
You'll be doing a scene from the famed play called
"I Fell in Love with an English Girl" by Richard Beckett.
You'll love it, you'll be great.
- Great!
- You're welcome!
(upbeat music)
- Okay, so, I'll see you tonight for rehearsal.
- Sounds good!
Yep, bye!
Oooooh.
- You are so in!
You get to hang out with her outside of class.
- Oh my God, I think I'm gonna puke.
- Oh come on, come on, look, look.
Just play it cool, this is what you have to do to get her.
First thing's first, do your research.
What does she like?
Where does she go?
These things are important.
- [Female Voiceover] Post some cute selfies on Instagram
so she knows how adorable you are.
- [Male Voiceover] Then, make sure you have a ton
of candles lit, girls love candles.
- [Female Voiceover] Wear some fancy perfume too!
- [Male Voiceover] Have something cooking, girls love food.
- I don't think food is gender-specific.
- Okay, whatever, as long as you can make a recipe
and not fuck it up, that will impress her.
- [Female Voiceover] And she'll come inside
and say, "You're so cute!
"And this house smells so good!
"Are those brownies?
"I love brownies!"
- [Male Voiceover] Then, say something related
to her interests like, "Have you seen
"the new Wes Anderson film?
"What he does with colors is just astounding."
- [Female Voiceover] Oh yeah, and do a hair flip.
- Why?
- [Female Voiceover] Just do it!
- [Male Voiceover] And then you grab her face and kiss her.
- No girl would ever fall for that.
- Ah, it worked for me once.
Or twice.
- Okay well, how 'bout we try...
When you answer the door, you're already on the phone,
and you say, "Sorry sorority president Jenna Waters,
"I have to cancel our plans tonight
"because I have an important appointment."
- [Female Voiceover] Why Jenna?
- [Male Voiceover] 'Cause she's attractive and popular.
Look, the point is to look important.
Hang up the phone after talking to Jenna
or Obama or whoever, and then offer her fancy cheese.
Girls love cheese.
- I'm lactose intolerant.
- [Male Voiceover] Okay, most girls love fancy cheese.
You run a scene and then afterwards, you get choked up
and say, "Sorry, I just haven't loved a scene this much
"since I played Eponine in Les Mis on Broadway."
- [June Voiceover] Maybe something a little
more realistic.
- [Male Voiceover] Okay, fine.
I'm trying to get you laid here.
How about, "Sorry I just haven't loved a scene
this much since I starred as Chorus Member #2
in Les Mis at my high school."
- [Female Voiceover] And that's when you pull out
your guitar and play the song you wrote for her.
She'll swoon.
- [Male Voiceover] And then you grab her face and kiss her.
- I don't know, that's a lot of pressure
to put on my guitar skills.
- Okay, how about this.
She comes to the door, and you answer it
as your cool, calm, collected self.
You run through the scene and say something nice
like, "You're really good at this, like very natural."
- My God, you're a good actor if you can
get that out with a straight face.
- Okay, I mean, I was being genuine.
I'm trying to pay you a compliment.
- Yeah, you're right.
I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm really bad at taking compliments.
- Me too, I mean, there was this one time
when this guy told me that he liked my glasses,
and I shouted, "You are!"
and then I ran away real quick.
(laughter)
- That's really funny.
- It is now.
It was kind of traumatic at the time.
- Sorry, um, it's getting late.
We should probably finish this scene.
- Oh, um,
I thought we did.
It says that I cross to you
and then I say, "I have something to tell you."
- Yeah, but then you grab my face and you kiss me.
- What?
- There's a kiss at the end of this scene!
- There is?!
- This isn't the transfer student is it?
- Yeah.
- Okay, well, look, look, look.
Now I heard that she got in trouble
'cause she tried to rob a bank.
She had to come to America to escape the law!
- That doesn't sound right.
- She's dangerous.