[humming]
There we go. You can wake him up now, nurse.
[groaning] What- what happened?
I finished your nose job, you silly goose. Take a look.
SpongeBob, you idiot!
This isn't even close to what I wanted!
Well, why didn't you say so? Oh, nurse.
Wait, no, no, no! I want a different doctor! I--
No!
No! [trumpeting]
No! No! No! No! No! No!
No! No!
No-o-o-o!
Aw, that's amazing. Congratulations, you're hired.
Cool.
Well, it's no Krabby Patty, but perhaps I'll find contentment.
Hey, buddy, how's the pizza coming?
Almost done. But I did change the recipe a bit.
[chuckles] Well, no problem.
Few extra toppings never hurt anyone.
Huh? What have you done?
You've turned an innocent pizza into... a pizza patty.
It's an abomination!
There, yeah.
♪ La la la la la ♪
[sighing]
[toilet flushing]
[grunting]
Phew.
Sometime today, Mr. Pants.
May it please the court,
ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
My client has been called cheap,
miserly and chronically tight-fisted.
Uh. Mm.
But, if he were as cheap as the prosecution claims he is,
would he be able to sit there quietly,
while I took out a dollar and dropped it in the blender?
[gasping]
No! No-no! No!
Daddy's got ya. Daddy's got ya. Daddy's here.
[chattering]
Hey, Sheldon.
SpongeBob?
What in the seashell are you doing here?
Mr. Krabs arranged for me to work here on weekends.
He wants me to keep an eye on you.
Excuse me. Doesn't this count as cruel and unusual punishment?
Pipe down, pip squeak.
Look, they even gave me a training baton.
[squeaking]
Now, this seems like a long pants establishment.
Today's special is a most amusing
Indian Ocean sea grass,
handpicked by indigenous prawns, pre-chewed by local manatees
and then smothered in a rich red algae.
[chattering]
Extraordinary. And may I add,
those are very impressive britches you're wearing.
Britches? Oh, these old things.
Okay, places, everybody.
Squidward, are our heroes ready?
As they'll ever be.
[gasping]
They're beautiful.
They look just like they did 30 years ago.
Okay, action!
I love my new job.
Good job, Sandy.
Your room, sir.
And I'd like to order room service.
I'd like a Krabby Patty with cheese,
toenail clippings and nose hairs.
[gasping] You've got to be kidding me.
And I want it here in five seconds.
Yes, sir.
Here ya are, sir.
Well, you got your stinky sandwich.
Now eat it.
Oh, I'm not going to eat this. You are.
What? You're out of your mind
if you think I'm going to eat that.
Shh. That's not really a Krabby Patty
with cheese, toenails and nose hair.
Oh, now, I get ya, boy.
[giggling] Alright, Squidward.
[laughing]
SpongeBob!
Sorry, Mr. Krabs, we were all out of cheese.
Hooray!
20, 40, 60, 80, 90, 95, 96, 97.
Order up! [dinging]
What do you think, boss?
Clam shells. What have you done, boy?
I told you to build me a house, not a sandwich.
Hey, Taco Man, may have a job por favor?
Mm. All right, let's see what you can do with a burrito.
How about that?
Interesting.
It's some sort of burrito patty. Mm.
Who'd like to taste it?
I'll give it a go.
You're fired.
[crying]
[banging]
You're fired!
And take your noodle patty with ya!
Oh, I'll take it, all right. I'll take it to go!
Good day, class.
[screaming]
I must be having a nightmare!
What's he doing here?
Didn't you read the note Mrs. Puff?
Here, I taped it together and saved it just in case.
"Dear Mrs. Puff, I'm following in your footsteps
and got a job as a driver's ed teacher
for the summer. Heart. SpongeBob."
Yow! Get me outta here!
[groaning]
Now let's open our drivers ed hand books
to chapter one.
Milkshaking sure has changed over the years.
Very good. But how does it taste?
Maybe we need to get back to basics.
[singing]
[singing off key]
[singing]
♪ Figaro, Figaro Figaro ♪
It's so beautiful.
♪ O-O-O ♪
That's the most wonderful singing I've ever heard.
[crying]
♪ O-O-O ♪
[grumbling]
Mr. Weenie?
Congratulations, SpongeBob. You've been promoted.
But you just fired me.
Ah, that's mustard under the bun, my boy.
The important thing is my customers love
your little sliders. Now get to work!
I'm pretty sure this is illegal.
Where's the leader? Do you see him?
Oh, he'll be here. Don't worry.
Larry made me the man I am today.
Oh, look at that.
He taught me, just do stuff you always do,
but do it on your back. Laugh on your back.
[laughing]
Walk on your back.
[grunting]
And don't forget, always be hydrating.
That means drink plenty of water.
Ah.
I hope Larry's okay.
But while we're waiting, I guess
we can ride bicycles on our backs.
[grunting]
Right this way, please.
Good evening, sir. From our menu tonight,
might I recommend the Krabby Newberg?
We take the finest cuts of aged imported kelp,
stuff them with herbs from our garden,
wrap them in parchment
with our award winning shallot tapenade.
Slow roast 'em for six hours
in our wood fired clay-filled oven or kiva
and serve them with a garnish
of wilted coral on a mahogany plank.
Mm. This is fantastic.
Thank you, sir.
Make way for a couple of ontre-prenyouers!
Okay, Patrick, this is it.
The first step on our road to living fancy.
Just follow my lead.
Good afternoon, sir.
Could we interest you in some chocolate?
Chocolate? Did you say chocolate?
Yes, sir. With or without nuts?
Chocolate?! Chocolate?!
Chocolate! Chocolate!
Chocolate!
You should be the maitre'd!
Greeting customers when they come in!
Charming the pants off of everyone with your long pant!
[laughing] Okay.
Hi. How are ya? Looking good. Mustard with that? All right.
How is that patty treating you, sir?
Are you an angel?
No, merely a man. A man in long pants.
I'm sure with all my years in the kitchen,
I can make something
other than... [laughing]
Just warming up!
[growling]
[shrieking]
Come on, SpongeBob.
[whistling]
[dinging]
[shrieking]
[growling]
Just one egg and...
Oh! Gah!
Nope, that's not it either.
You are making a mockery of my...
This taste is... it's fantastic.
What do you call it?
A Krabby Patty.
The whole world must take this.
Hi.
I'm sorry, Plankton, I'm trying my best!
I'm not used to cooking this way.
Please don't take my brain out.
Hold it, SpongeBob.
I'm capable of compassion and understanding.
Really? Then I'd like to go back to the Krusty Krab.
SpongeBob, you've got a choice to make.
Your friends or your career?
Squirrel jokes! Squirrel jokes! Squirrel jokes!
[gasping]
Howdy, y'all!
Oh, yeah!
Hey come it takes more than one squirrel
to screw in a light bulb?
Because they're so darn stupid!
Quick, Patrick, use the jetpack.
Can do.
[screaming]
Phew. Huh?
[screaming]
Boy, it was lucky the sidewalk broke our fall.
But we lost Plankton.
To the spy mobile!
Hmm, mines, oil slick, smoke screen, shield.
Self destruct.
[beeping]
[laughing]
[panting]
Emergency! Everybody out of the water!
Hurry! Emergency! Out of the water!
Emergency!
What's going on, lifeguard?
What's the big emergency, sir?
Uhh... there are sharks in there!
Hey, that's my family you're talking about.
Uhh... sea monster!
You know, we sea monsters have made great strides
in the fields of science and literature.
Uhh, somebody went?
It's a big lagoon, dude.
No, don't go!
[groaning]
Food! Food! Food! Food!
We did a good job.
Bikini Bottom looks so clean now.
Hey, buddy, you need a ride?
I was just on my way to the big doofus convention.
[laughing]
This is humiliating.
I'm a fry cook. Darn it! You can take away my spatula,
but when you take away my dignity,
that's when I get mad!
I'm going to march right into Mr. Krabs' office
and tell him that this is just too much!
Oh.
[groaning]
Citizens of New Kelp City,
I don't know much about politics or balanced budgets.
Or how to be a leader.
I'm not exactly sure what a mayor is.
But I do know this.
While I am wearing the mayor's hat,
it will always be safe to blow bubbles on the streets
of New Kelp or my name isn't CheeseHead BrownPants.
[cheering]
And why aren't you in uniform?
It's about time you got here!
Here you go, Your Majesty.
I can't drink that.
Why not?
Are you blind? Just look at it.
Uh-huh, this looks shady, very shady.
Larry, hey, tough guy, can I punch you in the gut?
Sure. Everybody does. It won't hurt me a bit.
[laughing] Told you it wouldn't hurt.
Uh, thanks, big guy.
See you around.
Very interesting.
Out! Out! Out!
Hey, what's the big idea?
This.
Larry the Loser gets beaten up by pipsqueak?
B-B-But?
No buts.
I can't have a wimp like you destroying my gym's reputation.
You're banned forever.
Hello, Larry.
Not now, SpongeBob.
Let me take in the fact that my life is ruined.
Patrick?
Yeah, SpongeBob?
I don't think this bubble can get much bigger.
Nonsense.
Pat, no!
We did it. We painted the whole house.
What do you think of this, Mr. Krabs?
I call it Krabby Pate. Classy, huh?
Serve it while it's hot, Patrick.
SpongeBob, where those jewels on the patties?
Yeah. You said fancy up the food,
so I found some shiny stuff for garnish. Got a whole box.
What the? SpongeBob, you can't just go around
taking people's precious jewels.
I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs.
I was just doing what you told me.
Oh. Don't worry about it.
Just tell me where you got them gems from.
Oh. Upstairs. I went left and right.
I can't wait to see the look on our customer's face.
[doorbell ringing]
Yeah?
Congratulations, sir, your Krabby Patty pizza's here.
Wow. Thanks.
I've been dying for one of these.
Where's my drink?
What drink?
My drink. My diet Dr. Kelp.
Don't tell me you forgot my drink!
But, you didn't order any--
How am I supposed to eat this pizza without my drink?!
But...
Didn't you ever once think of the customer?!
You call yourself a delivery boy?!
Well, I ain't buying!
Sponge?
It's okay. Sponge?
[crying]
Let me do something to please.
Fine, you can be the sound man.
Sound man.
Imbeciles.
Well then, I was going to tell you
about my fabulous...
[groaning]
Sponge--
[grunting]
It's heavy.
Thanks, but it itches.
Huh.
Hey, Squidward! Wanna blow some bubbles?!
Only 25 cents!
Oh, right. Like I would spend a moment of my time
blowing a bubble.
- Uh-huh. - Oh, please.
I mean, who in the world would pay to blow bubbles?
Good morning.
[groaning]
Oh, boy.
Good morning to you, sir. Would you care to blow a bubble?
Hmm. How much is it?
Only a quarter.
Sounds reasonable.
I'm gonna need to borrow a quarter.
Sure thing, Patrick.
Ah, one quarter.
Thank you.
[beeping]
Got ya steaming hot bun delivery here.
[beeping]
Huh? What's the big idea here?
[laughing]
Fear not, there is no need to panic.
The Bikini Bottom Bad Boys are here.
Ooh, I feel protected now.
Those are some mean looking rides, dudes.
[laughing]
Patrick, it's working.
They think we're... fishes bikers.
[laughing]
For his dive, SpongeBob will be attempting
a full banana fudge pop with two sticks.
And now absolute silence.
I scream for ice cream!
Perfect entry.
And toasted almonds? That's unexpected.
He stuck it!
And just look at that even coating.
Top that, pinky.
[scatting]
[gasping]
[honking]
Broken traffic light.
Who is to say my monitor duties should end
just because the bell rang?
I can be helpful anywhere.
This looks like a job for the hall monitor.
[whistling]
What would this town do without ya, SpongeBob?
My leg! My leg!
I'm ready for my close up, Mr. Director.
Very well. Lose the pants!
Hans! Where's my star?!
Whoa! What's happening? Wh-wh-what's happening?!
In this scene,
you'll be cleaning bathroom fixtures.
Okay, so, uh, where's my cleaning utensil?
[mumbling]
Don't you get it? You are the cleaning utensil.
Roll speed!
New Sponge Commercial: Take one.
Action!
Oh, no! Your bathroom is a disaster.
Get it cleaned up fast with... the new sponge!
[groaning]
Household chores are a snap with new sponge.
It cleans sinks.
Just look at that shine!
New sponge cuts through
even the toughest grime and grit.
New sponge also cleans showers
[groaning]
Ha, ha! That tile looks good as new!
But best of all, new sponge can make any toilet sparkle!
[gasping]
Noooo!
[grunting]
I can't do this!
Cut!
I'm sorry.
I don't think I'm cut out for acting.
What? You said you were professional actor.
Well, I'm not. I am a fry cook.
That's what I am, and that's what I've always been.