Riley: (in overly placid Jedi voice) You will not try this at home!
Jon: Riley, are you trying to use Jedi mind tricks on our YouTube audience?
Jory: (in hypnotized drone) I will not try this at home!
Jon: Just DON'T try this at home!
*theme song plays*
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?
Hello, and welcome to...
Jory and Riley: ..."Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?"
I'm your host, Jory Caron.
And I'm your joyful sidekick, Riley McIlwain.
Jon: (singing) O, Christmas tree! O, Christmas tree!
Jory: Oh, it's a HOLIDAY tree!
Jon: (singing) We're going to microwave thee in...
Jon: What's her name? What's the microwave's name?
Jory: Uh... Penelope!
Jon: Yeah!
Jory: See what I do with the, uh, the alliteration so I don't forget the name?
Jon: Uh, Jory?
Jory: Huh?
Jon: I haven't... You can't see it because I've digitally added it after the fact, but there is indeed mistletoe above Penelope! So, why don't you, uh...?
Jory: Um, well, she's kinda bloody...
Jon: Why don't you just go ahead? Why don't you go ahead?
Jory: I don't really feel like, uh, expressing...
Jon: Well, why don't you give her a present, then?
Jory: Okay, someone donated this. We have no idea who! We're gonna say it's the unknown microwaving fan! So, it's for ALL of you guys, although you didn't donate it!
Jon: Merry Christmas, happy holidays! We're sorry if you celebrate Kwanzaa! It's very unfortunate!
Jory: Tree goes in. Shut that door!
Jory: Aw, yeah! How long should it go in there for? Three! 3 minutes!
Riley: 3 minutes? Why 3 minutes?
Jory: Father, Son, the Holy Ghost?
Jon: It'll be awesome! Let's do it!
*Christmas bells chiming*
Jon: Get outta there, Santa Claus!
Jory: Oh, oh! Already a light show!
Riley: That's pretty!
*Jory sighs in wonder*
Riley: Whoa! That thing is already... It's gonna catch on fire!
Jon: Of COURSE it's gonna catch on fire!
Jory: Happy holidays!
Jon: Is Santa Claus round, fat, and jolly?! Of COURSE it's gonna catch on fire!
Riley: (to Jory) Get that fan on! Look at that top!
Jory: Look at the smoke shooting out of that!
Riley: I know!
Jon: (singing in background) O, Christmas tree! O, Christmas tree! I really love to watch you now!
Jory: it's like a cowlick! And now, it's on fire!
Riley: Yeah!
Riley: Aw, look at the tree just sink!
Jory: We should probably stop this soon, huh? Nah, we need a little bit more time.
Jon: 'Cause it's just dry pine in the middle of your living room! Uh, stay safe this holiday season, folks!
Jory: And this is a FAKE one, so...!
Jon: Yeah!
Riley: Whoa! Look at all the smoke in the backyard!
Jory: It's like there's snow back there!
Riley: Yeah, like, whoa!
Jon: I mean, you guys have all seen "Christmas Vacation" with Chevy Chase.
Jory: Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and stop this now.
Jon: Alrighty then!
Jory: (as whiny YouTube fan) Oh, do we have to?!
Jory: Well, you'll have to wait until tomorrow!
Jon: Here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go!
Jon: (singing) Santa Claus came down the chimney, and he burned his asshole!
Jon: It doesn't actually look too bad.
Jory: Now, it fits up against a wall. That's a space-saving maneuver! I mean, I can get right to the point now!
Jory: There IS some charring around the side that you'll be seeing, but TOTALLY good idea! You just get some green spray paint, and they won't even know that the tree was once on fire!
Jory: Plus, I mean, what's the chance that it will catch on fire a second time?
Jon: Less than 50%!
Jory: Okay, well...!
Jon: Well, have a very happy holiday season, everyone, and thank you for watching!
Jory: Have a wonderful holiday season!
Riley: Yup!
Jory: And, uh, that's it from...
Jory and Riley: ..."Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?"
I'm your host, Jory Caron.
I'm your sidekick, Riley McIlwain.
And I'm Jonny!
*end credits play*
Jon: Happy holidays!
Jory: And Santa will bring you everything you ever want...
Riley: No!
Jory: ...if you subscribe to our channel!
Riley: Oh! Well, in that case, YES! He will!
Jory: (laughs) Because that's a GOOD idea!
Riley: Mm-hmm!
Jory: (singing) He's makin' a list!
Jory and Riley: (singing) Checkin' it twice!
Jory: (singing) He's gonna find out if it's a good idea or a bad idea!
Riley: Santa claus is watching the microwave show!
Jory: ...You sleep!
*Click on episode #121 to see how having more junk in da trunk makes Whoopi able to kill disco!*