Oh, hello, guys, thanks for coming to my Chili con carnival.
This is the dumbest thing you've ever done, Cartman.
Oh, it won't be so dumb when Scott Tenorman arrives.
I suggest you stay to see the fireworks.
Oh, we will.
Trust us, we wouldn't miss this.
What's so funny ?
Oh, nothing, it's just cool
how you're gonna get Scott Tenorman back.
Is Radiohead here yet ?
Not yet, but they will be.
Yeah, sure.
Hello, Eric. Hey, Chef.
I made some chili to enter into the contest.
What contest ?
This is a chili cook-off, ain't it ?
Huh ? Oh, yeah, I guess it is.
Here, just put it over here.
It's my special recipe.
Scott Tenorman !
How are you, Scott ? Thanks so much for coming.
Oh, I wouldn't miss this for anything.
Likewise.
Well, come on, you've got to see the pony.
Just a second.
Don't you wanna taste my chili first ?
Well, yeah, but there's a special guest coming
and I want you to be near the pony when they arrive.
Well, I don't want it to get cold.
I think I can win first prize.
All right, Scott, let's go over to the judging table
and we'll try the chili first.
God damn it.
All right, I guess we should taste each other's chili, huh ?
This chili looks pretty good.
Here's mine.
Mmm, I don't know, your chili is good, Cartman.
But I think mine is better, try it.
All right.
Hey, this is great !
It's a special recipe.
God, this is really good, Scott.
I'm glad you like it so much,
because now that you're almost finished,
I have something to tell you.
What ?
You mean about how you put pubes in your chili ?
What ?!
Yes, I'm afraid this isn't your chili, Scott.
I switched it with Chef's.
It's delicious, Chef. I hadn't planned on that.
What I did plan on, however,
was that my friends Stan and Kyle would betray me
and warn you that the chili con carnival was a trap.
I assumed that they would tell you
that I trained Jenkins' pony to bite off your wiener.
What they didn't tell you was that Jenkins is a crazy redneck
who shoots trespassers on sight.
Knowing that you would go and try to do something to the pony,
I warned Mr. Jenkins that violent pony killers were in the area.
I also knew that you wouldn't go yourself
for fear of having your wiener bitten off.
You would most likely send your parents.
And. I'm afraid that when Mr. Jenkins spotted them on his property
he shot and killed both your parents.
( Gunfire )
Well, they was trespassin' and I was protectin' myself.
I have my rights.
My... Mom and dad are dead ?
( Cartman ) I came just in time to see
Mr. Jenkins giving his report to Officer Barbrady,
and of course to steal the bodies.
After a night with the hacksaw, I was all ready
to put on my Chili con carnival.
So that I could tell you personally about your parents' demise.
And of course, feed you your chili.
Do you like it ? Do you like it, Scott ?
I call it... "Mr. And Mrs. Tenorman chili".
Oh, my God !
Oh, my God !!
♪ Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah ♪
♪ I made you eat your parents ♪
♪ nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah ♪
Jesus Christ, dude !
My mom and dad are dead !
No, no !!
Ah, excuse me ?
Who are you ?
We're that band, Radiohead.
Jeez, what a little crybaby.
You gonna cry all day, crybaby ?
You know, everyone has problems,
it doesn't mean you have to be a little crybaby about it.
Come on, guys, let's go,
this kid is totally not cool.
Yeah, that's the most uncool kid I've ever met.
Little crybaby.
No, wait !
Wait !
Oh my God ! Oh my God !
Yes ! Yes !
Oh, let me taste your tears, Scott.
Mmm, your tears are so yummy, sweet.
Dude, I think it might be best for us to never piss Cartman off again.
Good call.
Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness.
Mmm, yummy, yummy, guys.
Yibbidy-bip-- that's all, folks !