Cheating Wives And Crazy Girlfriends
hi everyone i live in ottawa canada and have two
kids a 13 year old and 10 year old boy i make a decent six figure income while
my wife makes 35k we haven't been communicating with each
other for months and would just walk by each other in the house
long story short i found out that she has been having an affair with a guy and
had a sexual relationship with him i actually have a recording of her
talking about having sex with him fast forward she has recently handed me
a separation agreement from her lawyer and of course is asking for primary
residency of the kids for child support purposes
and demanding alimony here it is she does not know that i know she's been
having an affair my big question is would it be
beneficial at this point to bring this up with the intent of her lowering her
demands or do you think i shouldn't even bring
it up as she might even demand more money and make it worse for me
financially by bringing the bombshell out
i have recently found out that my wife has had multiple affairs
physical and emotional and that she wants a divorce
we have been married for about 10 years and have no kids
we both have good jobs and earn a combined income of 250k
plus she earns a little more than me now but that was reverse for years
so some background our marriage has hit a bumpy road the last few years
i had an accident a few years ago and eventually that led to me needing to
have a surgery to repair the damages to my body
while recovering from that surgery i developed a blood clot and then a
pulmonary embolism and nearly dying from the time of the
accident i started to put on weight because i was
physically limited with what i can do from the pain
so the surgery was necessary all of this compounded
i started to have depression there were a few other items during this time that
contributed to my depression but those are the broad strokes of it it
took me a few years to finally realize that i needed professional help with my
depression and at the beginning of this year
i started seeing a psychiatrist and started on some antidepressants
then covet 19 happened and once we got through the worst of it
i started seeing a therapist as well over the last few months
i have really started to come out of the darkness of my depression and really
started to feel more positive my depression displayed
itself with anger yelling being short snippy lack of
motivation generalized withdrawing you get the idea
over the last two months my wife told me that she wanted a divorce
and that came as a bit of a shock as when we last talked about our
relationship she was on board for us to work on our
relationship and to start couples therapy
a few weeks after this conversation she went out shopping and stopped replying
to my text for like a two hour period so i got curious and looked at our phone
account and noticed that while she was ignoring my text
she was texting another number which led to a black hole
finding a bunch of other numbers which led me to logging into her email and
then social media accounts and found all of the incriminating evidence of the
affairs i didn't say anything that night the
next morning i confronted her and she came clean on
things at this point we have not told anything
to family or friends and she doesn't want to yet as we have conflicting ideas
of what the message should be when we tell everyone
i want to be able to be completely honest but she doesn't want that and is
concerned about her reputation and being judged by friends and family
my life has been a vortex of emotions the last few months
at the end of the day i love my wife i want the opportunity to try to work on
our relationship i really want to make up the years of my
depression to her i want to change her mind i want to
prove it's worth trying we have a long history and i don't want
to throw it away
my wife and i have been married four years we'd already been through some
issues and done a year of marriage counseling in 2017
however things were picking up and we got a house in 2018 and also
had our first child late last year my friend greg needed a place to stay or
he would have been homeless so we let him rent out our spare bedroom
he's been in and out of jobs but always good about pitching in
doing some chores buying us groceries etc in the last few months
i felt things getting more distant between me and my wife
that along with work pressure bills house projects
our baby and now quarantine all exploded on easter sunday when she told me while
sitting in bed that she wasn't in love with me anymore
i didn't make her happy she didn't know if we'd work out i was
stunned sick to my stomach i think we both cried
all night the next few days she refused to barely
look at me much less hug me or anything usually our fights or issues would
resolve in a day or two but this just wasn't getting any better
i decided to ask greg to move out as each day we'd had arguments and it was
hell with us all three quarantined together
me trying to work from home in the middle of it then on thursday of that
week after seeing her therapist she tells me
on the phone that she's suicidal and checks into a mental hospital
i take care of our kiddo bills managed to clean the house up after our roommate
moved out basically juggled it all until she was
released to come back home when she gets back i notice nothing is
better around me snippy dismissive unloving
but i'll hear her talking to several guy friends on the phone where
she sounds flirty and funny she made a guy friend while in the mental hospital
and one conversation i overheard them joking about hand jobs
i asked her about this and she said he was just her support partner
i told her that i wished i was her support and she didn't say anything
she was going to hang out with this man on a walk but decided not to when i said
that it seemed weird which i was thankful for still her odd
behavior continued she then seemed to talk to our old
roommate greg daly and she ducked out to the bathroom with the fan on to do so
one time even also she wrote in her diary constantly
so i peaked at it while she was gone one day
and and the newest entry was a two-page diatribe about her undying love for greg
about how much she wanted him blah blah blah
i texted a mutual friend of greg and minds about it because i was so shocked
he suggested i confront greg so i texted greg did you ever do
anything inappropriate with my wife he actually had the balls to call me and
said that i had been working too much i was out of shape a bad husband and
that yes they kissed but didn't have sex later that night i
confronted my wife and asked her if it was true
she said it was and we both just kind of sat there
i told her i had a hunch something was up but didn't admit to reading her diary
then a few days later she asks if i'd read it
i shook my head no but didn't say anything
she then says she knows i did because she went through my phone and saw my
texts with my friend we both flipped out on each other and
she left to go to her friend's house that was in may she moved out for a
month but i decided to let her move back and now
we're in marriage counseling not sure what the future holds
so my girlfriend of one month that started living with me almost right
after we met seems perfect she told me i was her
ideal she asked me to be exclusive with her i
told her i loved her she asked me to be her boyfriend she
initiated talks of moving in together and even marriage
however she's always talking to this guy over text
they text every morning and night and she tells me he's just a friend
but unluckily for her i know quite a bit about him and he's a player
he doesn't just make female friends upon looking on her phone she is having
sex with him every time she leaves my place to go out by herself
she sends nudes to him daily and even talks about me to him
he says wait for him to catch feelings then crush his heart haha to which she
laughs and tells him that i don't even know
what's happening and that she's only using me for my place
which is close to him funnily enough she tells him she makes
me use a condom i guess even she doesn't want to seem
like too much of a slut however i think she is serious about me
as long as i remain clueless she gets mad when i'm on the phone
outside because she thinks i am talking to other girls
and she's offered to buy me an expensive early birthday present a week ago and i
declined her as long as you're here on my birthday i
told her i'll be happy but now i'm thinking of
getting that gift and then kicking her out
the only problem is that because this would be a significant chunk of her
savings she might be persistent with me but i
really just need to get back at her in some way
i feel so completely and utterly humiliated they were literally making
fun of me in their conversations should i do this for context she works
full-time and has almost 8 000 in savings
the gift she offered to buy me was 2k we're both in our early 20s
you