21 Ways To Command Respect When You Enter A Room
[0:00:00] [Music]
In today’s video, gents, twenty one ways to command respect when you walk into a room
even if you don’t know anyone.
So, as you can tell I’m not on my normal studio, I’m actually traveling in Mauritius.
And, guys, I have meet-ups, I have one here in Mauritius as you can see from these pictures.
I had a great time.
And, if you want to be notified about these meet-ups, make sure you join my email newsletter.
Down in the description, I’m going to put a link to my email newsletter which if you
join by the way, you get tons of free emails.
It’s a great newsletter.
So, enough of that, let’s get into the content.
Tip number one, know your purpose, understand your why.
If you’re showing up to this event because you want to network and grow your business,
that’s one thing.
If you want to show up to this event just to have fun, that’s a very different purpose.
Now, nothing wrong with either of them, but you need to understand which one of these
because that’s going to determine your attitude, the way that you approach this, how much you
prepare, and your entire mindset when you go in.
A lot of times, people go in and they haven’t thought this through.
And if you don’t understand exactly what you want to get out of your time being spent
at this networking event or at this party, then you’re not going to get out of it what
you want to get out of it because you don’t know your purpose.
Tip number two, believe in yourself because if you don’t believe in yourself, it’s
very unlikely anyone else will.
I know that’s cruel.
But here is the thing is that everyone has something that can give them confidence that
can give them a reason to believe in themselves.
You don’t believe me?
Okay.
Maybe you’ve got experience may not be the experience in your industry, but you’ve
got experience of life or maybe you’ve got a very specific education.
Oh, you don’t have experience or you don’t have education?
You can be a great listener because guess what?
People are there and they want to talk.
And, if you can go around and be someone who pays attention to names, who actually makes
introduction.
You may not know much about what’s going on here, but you at least are paying attention
to the situation and you become that person that glue that brings everyone together.
Tip number three, you knew this one was coming.
Dress like the man in charge.
If you are underdressed, you’re going to feel out of place.
If you’re way overdressed, then you may feel out of place.
But, really it comes down to what, again, back to point number one, your mission.
Because if you’re a lawyer at a construction firm, you’re probably going to outdress
all the other man at that firm.
Why?
Because you have a job that’s about paying attention to details doing that paperwork
and keeping that company out of trouble.
You can dress up if your profession calls for it.
But, when it comes down to it, guys, think about the environment think about your personal
needs think about your body type, all this stuff I talk about in my channel which I will
link to additional videos down in the description which go into a lot more about how to dress
for your body shape and all that stuff.
Next up, call your safety.
So, you’re about to walk into the room, how about you go ahead and make a phone call
to a friend who’s always got your back, always has something positive to say.
Maybe to your wife, maybe to someone, maybe one of your daughters, someone that’s going
to be your cheerleader, is going to say, “Dad, I love you.”
And guess what?
You’re going to feel good.
When you all of a sudden, yes, start to feel good about yourself, you walk into that room
feeling good about yourself, people are going to pick this up and all of a sudden people
are going to want to talk to you.
Why?
Because you make them feel good, so make sure you have a positive conversation right before
you walk into the room.
Now, this next tip is really powerful and that is bring your own crew.
So, here on Mauritius when I showed up to that party, I have to admit, I brought my
own crew.
One of the best guys, my son, Alex, he’s 15 years old and I brought him to the party.
It was, you know, a watch event for [Yema?] watch company.
It was a great time.
I also brought Gavin, he’s my operations manager, brought Yuri, my tech manager.
I had my own crew that I brought.
Now, if you’re going out to a bar or you’re going out to a party, you know, try to bring
somebody with you, so at the worst case, you too can, you know, talk to each other, but
you’ve always got that person that’s got your back.
When you can bring your crew, it also shows that you’re socially acceptable.
So, when you walk into a bar and you’re a lone wolf, you don’t really stand as good
of a chance if you have two to three guys with you.
Why?
Because they have shown that you are acceptable to other people and people pick up on this.
Now, how to get past this?
And the next point is to immediately start to talk to people and even show up a bit early
even if you’re just talking to the bartender, even if you just get the name of the guy that’s
going around with the food of the drinks.
The thing is you know someone and they acknowledge you and all of a sudden, other people are
picking up that, you know, you’re a good person which takes us to our next point which
is to acknowledge people when you walk into the room.
So, men have this thing, you know, when you walk in and you just look and you give a nod,
right?
Make sure to do that because when you acknowledge people, it makes them feel that they are worth
acknowledging.
And, don’t forget to give yourself margin.
What I’m talking about is that little bit of extra time, so that you get sidetrack,
maybe that’s a little bit more time in the bathroom you get lost on the way.
You want to give yourself that little bit of cushion, so you can show up on time.
Now, it’s not always important to show up to a networking event right on time, you usually
got a little bit of leeway here.
But, if it’s something that you’re going to be talking at, if it’s something that
actually they’ll be shutting the door because they don’t want, you know, they want people
just showing up at any point because there’s going to be a speaker up on stage.
You want to make sure to give yourself that 15 minutes.
That’s one thing we picked up in the Marine Corps, they always if you’re not fifteen
minutes early, you are late.
[0:05:09] And, let’s talk about having direction.
So, when you walk into a room, make sure that you’ve got direction.
You don’t want to just hang out near the entrance walk around aimlessly.
No.
You want to go somewhere and I think straight to the bar is perfectly fine to grab a drink.
You feel conflict you got something in your head and you gave yourself time to scan the
room.
That’s the next thing that you want to be at this point doing is looking around and
seeing who can you talk with, who can you engage with.
People that are standing by themselves oftentimes haven’t gotten this point, guess what?
They are so easy and they’re so thankful for someone to oftentimes just come up and
start to speak with.
But, what if no one standing by themselves, you just see all these groups around?
Well, then go ahead and insert yourself into a smaller group.
You want to look at body language at this point.
So, notice, are people open up or they really close to each other.
Be careful of groups where people are having a private conversation.
Oftentimes, they’re going to be leaning in they’re going to be closer to each other,
maybe they’re talking over a table.
You may want to be careful of those.
Instead, find ones which people are giving each other a bit of space and there’s a
natural place for you to be able to step in and then introduce yourself.
Make sure to put that hand out there and properly introduce yourself.
And, when it comes to names, make sure to say their name to repeat their name.
People love their names and they love it when somebody remembers their name because so many
times we’re introduced to people and we don’t remember the names.
If you take nothing else out of this video, develop a game find a way for you to become
a better person at remembering names.
I associate their name with another meaning and then I try to stick it with them.
So, I met a gentleman, Marco the other day, Marco from Hong Kong.
All these names I’m putting together and I say it because it’s not just remembering
him, but it’s also the muscle memory when you say it again and again.
And these things make a difference because when you say someone’s name and you say
it correctly, they actually like you more.
Now, let’s talk about your conversation.
Three things here; speak to be heard, speak clearly, and speak slowly.
When you speak to be heard, many people out there they talk and they just mumble.
It’s – they’re barely getting out the words in the conversation.
You know these people.
You want to speak so that no one has to say, “I’m sorry.
What did you say?”
Next up, when you speak, speak clearly.
When you’re speaking, try to be very clear.
And, maybe if need be, some of you guys if you’ve got a really bad lisp, go work with
a speech coach.
I know when I was a kid, I did have to work with a speech coach and it’s still something
I have an issue confusing my Rs and my Ws and I can’t pronounce things really very
well.
But, I try to think about it and I try to break the words up, and that leads us to third
point which is speak slowly.
So, what you don’t want to do is fill your conversations with ahs, with, you know, basically
crutch words, all these things that we fall into a lot of like, like this, like that.
You know what I’m talking about.
It makes you sound less intelligent and definitely doesn’t make you sound like an authority.
Take the time to think about what you’re going to say.
Slow down.
Now, this next one is a bit of a power move, and that is when you’re speaking, don’t
be afraid to pause.
Pausing can do a number of things.
It can invite someone else to think about what you just said and to respond.
It can also help really emphasize a point that you – and it can be a very small point.
But, oftentimes we move so fast in our conversation that we don’t have time to think.
And, when you pause you slow the conversation down and this is a really – it can be a
very powerful power move that you can leverage.
So, don’t hide and don’t fidget.
So, a lot of times when people walk into a room, they go into the shadows, they go into
the corners.
You don’t want to be that person that’s sulking hiding in the corner making yourself
smaller.
You want to, again, find a group that you can join into or, again, even leaning up against
the table in the middle of the room, go to the bar if need be.
And, let’s talk about fidgeting.
Now, fidgeting is actually natural.
It’s something that we do to soothe ourselves when we’re nervous when we got a little
bit of anxious energy.
The problem is fidgeting can be perceived as weak as something that makes you look really
nervous and you’re out of your element.
Next up, stand up straight.
Pretty simple, roll the shoulder back and stand up straight.
It’s going to make you look stronger, taller, more masculine, and you’re just going to
come off as more confident.
Next up, if you’re having a good conversation, don’t be afraid to lean in.
Get a little bit closer.
This shows that you’re paying attention that you’re listening and that you’re
interested in that other person.
And people like this especially if they’re enjoying the conversation, you’re making
this a private conversation and they’re going to connect with you much better.
Now, what to do if people are sitting down, where should you sit?
You don’t want to sit on the edges on the outside.
I like to go more towards the center if I’m looking to engage and talk with people.
I’ll go to a table that actually is pretty much already filled up, maybe room for one
or two people if I’m with somebody else.
But, it’s something that you want to be in and around other people.
[0:10:00] Now, this next technique is really powerful,
but you got to be careful not to abuse it, and that is if you’re a great storyteller,
you can really connect with people and you can really project power in the room.
Because when people see a guy that’s the life of the party and people are engaged in
that story in that conversation and they are waiting for the next part, that is great.
Now, where this can backfire is if you’re a bad storyteller and you don’t even know
it.
And so, you want to think what is my hook, how do I grab their attention, then how do
I make it relevant to this person, how do I have a build up, and then how do I bring
it all to conclusion.
Preferably in a short time period.
Now, the best thing you can do is to rehearse and practice the stories.
Yes.
You actually show up, you got stories in your back pocket that express personally networking
business events, these are stories that maybe talk about why your business is great, why
your customers why they keep coming back.
You’ve got these stories because you know that they can help you sell, they can also
help you connect and they can make you referable.
And, don’t forget the gesture.
You notice my hands have been going all over the place.
Gesturing is very key.
Now, you don’t want to overdo it.
I know some people told me that my hands need to actually stay within a box.
I get it.
I think it’s better to over gesture than to under gesture.
The point being, understand that having natural gestures is going to help get your point across
and actually makes you come across as more human and someone they can better connect
with.
Now, this next mistake I see guys make all the time.
It makes them look boring, it makes them look definitely look like they’re not the man
in charge of the room.
And that is when they’re caught in a boring conversation, they start to scan.
They don’t leave the conversation, they’re just looking around.
And guess what?
Whenever people see this, they see a guy that’s powerless caught in a boring conversation.
If you’re caught in a boring conversation, have the strength and that leads into the
next point to end the conversation to step out of the conversation to go somewhere else.
Talk with the person.
There are some easy outs; I need to go grab another drink, I need to head to the bathroom,
I’ve got an important call to take, I see someone I want to go catch up with I haven’t
talked with for a while.
Those are all legitimate reasons to step out.
But, another one is actually to get that person to summarize their points, to ask them questions
to help clarify their message.
The point is, don’t let a boring conversation trap you because it just makes you look weak.
Now, guys, really quick.
I want to point out the weakness of this video is that because I’m hitting so many points,
I can’t go really deep.
If you want to go deeper on how you can walk into a room and how you can command respect
You are a man that deserves to be able to go out there and claim what is his.
Gents, this master course is absolutely free.
I’m linking to it down in the description.
If you want to level up your confidence by mastering the science of style, this is the
course that you need to start with.
Again, guys, I’m linking to it down in the description.
Go check it out.
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