By the time I turn 21,
I want to have come out to my parents.
I don't feel like I can be my true self around my family.
I'm always known to be the quiet one.
I'm always told to speak up, but I feel like I can't,
because I'm playing this whole other person.
And on the next left, turn left.
Should we go that way?
Oh, it's so nice here.
I wanna be able to introduce Bo to my parents,
because he's my boyfriend and I love him.
This is so nice.
It actually is. Have you been to Mount Maunganui?
Nope.
I don't wanna pronounce it wrong.
I don't know babes.
So I grew up in the Philippines
and then I moved to the West Coast of the South Island,
in Westport when I was 10.
I don't even fully know what happened between Nicki and-
Ooh.
Like I had a realisation during high school
that like, the only opinions that matter
to me were my parents' and my family's.
So if like anything goes horribly wrong then yeah.
Don't do that.
You're gonna have wrinkles, I can't have that.
Look there's the Grinch.
Don't you feel like an adult right now?
So my parents live in Perth
and I haven't seen them for two years now because of Covid.
I feel restricted around my parents
when I talk to them about what I get up to in the week,
I have to kind of edit myself.
Three
two
one
Hi.
Hello?
Did you wear sunscreen?
No, cause I don't have sunscreen, you see my neck gets...
I told you to buy some.
God, you're always telling me that you have sunscreen.
Oh, it's bloody hot.
There are definitely moments within my family
and extended family where there are throwaway comments,
that's like, "Oh, that's great, like gays and queers,
but just as long as they're not in my family."
Definitely forces a kid to hide themselves
and wishing that it would just go away.
Like, I don't know how they're gonna react,
I can only assume and I can only hope.
Yeah.
Before colonisation in the Philippines
queer people were celebrated in the community.
Queer people were known as Babaylan
and they were the leaders of the community.
When the Spanish occupied, then Christian values took over.
I wish we could find our way back.
Cute outfit.
Thank you.
I feel like I can be my true authentic self with my friends.
Shut up.
But I would say that it's been a rare feeling for me.
Arianka??
Arianka?
Oh my God.
Yeah,
I am gay.
♪ Happy birthday dear Tristan ♪
Wow.
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
Dad: Has your car been sorted?
Has it been serviced?
Yeah, oh, I need to check it tomorrow.
I need to check it.
Wait, I have to tell you guys something.
Hmm.
I'm in a relationship.
Oh.
Yeah.
Mum: Dad, listen. Tan Tan is telling us something.
Is it okay that I have a boyfriend?
What are we going to do?
If that's what makes you happy.
There's no problem there.
Okay.
Of course, whatever-
Of course, whatever makes you happy.
Your mum and I aren't the ones in charge of your happiness.
Okay.
As long as you do it properly.
His name is Bo and he studies law.
He's gonna be a lawyer.
If that's what makes you happy, Tan.
I have no-
The most important thing is what makes you happy.
I love you guys.
Bye.
After the phone call,
I imagined myself feeling confident and liberated,
but I'm not sure that happened.
I had this expectation of my parents having a big reaction,
but in reality, they didn't.
I could feel tense and awkward emotions coming from them,
but it was nice hearing those words from Tatay and Mama.
It was very reassuring.
I'm excited to reintroduce
my true authentic self to my family.