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-I'm a graphic designer.
-His fucking parents paid for his fucking shit.
-Fuck you dude.
-Your parents pay for everything so--
-I'm rich as fuck.
-How do I finance it?
-Yeah.
-Porn.
Lots of porn.
I do lots of porn.
-OK.
-So one time I was down in South Padre for spring break.
We had the sun roof open.
All of a sudden, dude, all of the cars and all of the people
behind me start yelling.
I look in my rear-view mirror and there's this dude running
on top of these cars.
And I'm like, oh shit.
He just keeps running.
Boom, full tilt, falls straight through my sun roof
into my car on my lap.
I was like, dude holy.
You just ate shit man.
Are you OK dude?
-There was a cabinet as soon as you walk in the door full
of empty glass bottles.
I actually had just lots a big sports bet.
So I just got all pissed off and swung at the bottles.
It ends with a big hole in the arm.
-I once [INAUDIBLE]
dude a fucking boat.
It hit another boat.
The pontoon boat can hold 12 people.
We had 20 people on it.
We hit another fucking pontoon boat with 20 people.
Both the engines crashed.
In the end then we tied our boats together.
And we just kind of partied on this weird ass
broken couple of boats.
-And we just decided it would be funny if someone got
branded.
-Let's see that brand.
-That is four coat hangers formed into a k after 12 hours
of drinking.
-Drugs, alcohol.
-You get fucked up.
-You wake up in the morning and you just start partying.
-My favorite part about spring break is you have no
responsibility because you have school off.
And you just can get retarded with your friends and have no
regrets, and just act a fool.
-Me and all my friends went to Cancun.
And I was that intoxicated.
And I thought I was getting a henna tattoo.
I woke up the next morning and I was like, I didn't get a
fucking henna tattoo.
I got a real tattoo.
-[INAUDIBLE]
Spring break.
-[INAUDIBLE]
-You don't believe me.
Just watch.
Dinging dinging.
Don't believe me just watch.
-You're not breaking rules unless someone
tells you you are.
-We have a friend.
-He made it to the hospital the first time, used his fake
ID at the hospital.
And so he wasn't charged for any of it.
He got arrested.
-He went to Compton jail.
-County jail.
-Compton jail.
-County jail.
-County jail?
-County jail.
Yeah, right.
-L.A. County's a good place.
Spend the night.
-Guys are always going to be crazy, right.
Guys are always going to be going off.
No one's going to be in the most party mood.
And girls are the catalysts.
-Spring break Padre last year was my first
college spring break.
So that was really nuts.
I met a girl on the beach.
Before I even knew her name, I remember fucking her in the
porta potty on Coca Cola beach, passed
out for about 2 hours.
Woke up 2 hours later with her in the porta potty.
Realized what had happened and then left never to
hear from her again.
-We walked into a party just right down the street.
They're having an anal sex party with all gay guys.
We came in and all the guys were naked.
And we walked in, we're like, tight.
-So I had a threesome that trip.
Thank you for asking.
-Hey, is that a party bus I see in my near future?
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