You know, hosting the show is such a joy.
And I like to spread the joy around, so I've
asked my friend, my neighbor, my hall pass to co-host.
I think you're going to like it a whole lot.
Please welcome Ashton Kutcher.
[MUSIC - CHAMILLIONAIRE FT. KRAYZIE BONE, "RIDIN'"]
Trying to catch me riding dirty.
Police think they can see me lean.
I'm tint so it ain't easy to be seen.
When you see me ride by they can see the gleam and my shine
on the deck and the TV screen.
Riding with a new chick, she like, hold up.
Next to the PlayStation controller
is a full clip in my pistola.
Turn a jacker into a coma.
Girl you ain't know, I'm crazy like Krayzie Bone.
Just trying to bone, ain't trying to have no babies.
Rock clean as hell so I pull in ladies.
Law's on patrol and you know they hate me.
Music turned all the way up until the maximum,
got trying to jack for some, but we packing something
that we have for them.
We'll have locked up in a maximum security
cell I'm gripping oak.
Music loud and I'm tipping slow.
Twin steady, twisting like hit this dough.
Police pull up right behind and it's in his throat.
Windows down, gotta stop pollution.
CD's change, like who is that producing?
Hiya.
Hello.
Hey, neighbor.
So I knew, I thought you'd like this.
Yeah.
This is one of my gifts for you, is that he's here today.
[CHEERING]
So Ashton and Mila, and Portia and I, are neighbors.
Yes.
And we see each other often, and--
I'm a little upset, though.
What happened?
Well you had that, you did the anniversary thing,
with the plane and the banner for the happy anniversary
thing--
Right.
Were you in town?
I wasn't in town, but I didn't even
get an invite to this thing.
And I feel like, I don't know, we're neighbors,
I feel like we're becoming clo--
I feel like Mila and I are kind of like the glue in you
guy's relationship, and to not have us there.
Yeah
It really was like (SURPRISED SHOUT), it was a jolt for me.
It was just in front of our house.
He went back and forth a few times.
He didn't, we couldn't see it from our house,
so you sure couldn't have seen it from your house.
Well I know, and now it's messed up.
Because now every time I'm at the beach,
I'm going to be looking up to see what's coming next,
and I'm going to miss the dolphins.
Yeah.
Well, you didn't miss anything.
You should only look at the dolphins.
But if I-- if you'd have had me involved, I would've made sure
the font was the right size.
I would would've been up in the plane, I would've done it.
Yeah.
So Ashton and Mila, they're so cute,
they walk in the morning with their pajamas
on, and their dogs and their kids.
Now the daughter is 8, right?
Is she 8?
She's 4.
[LAUGHTER]
Close.
Neighborhood.
She talks really good, though.
I mean she's a real good talker.
She seems like she's 8.
She comes off as 8.
Why did I think she was 8?
It was in the note that--
I was like, she's not 8, is she?
Anyway.
All right, so she's 4.
She's 4.
And the young boy that never walks is how old?
He walks, he's 2.
So hold-- no, no, no.
He never puts him down, he's always on his back.
OK, wait, I now have a complex about this.
Because I have this, like one of those hiking backpack things,
that I put him in the hiker to go down the beach.
So he, so we can actually go down the beach.
Otherwise it's like a whole wrangling session with the kid.
And then you came out and you were like, oh does he walk?
And I was like, yes, he walks.
Because I had seen it five times, had never seen him walk.
OK, so now I take him out of the thing,
like once we get to purview of your house
and I'm like go, go, go.
I can't-- you grab-- run little sucker.
And I'm like trying to dish him along
so I don't have to hear about it anymore.
Yeah.
Well, he should just walk more often, because he's--
This kid's going to be an Olympian, man,
because I'm going to be behind him like (GRUNTING) it's
Ellen's house.
She's watching.
Gladys.
He's-- (LAUGHS) no, Mila called me Gladys, because that ski--
there was a guy on a jet ski going way too fast too
close to the shore, and there are dolphins out
there, and then--
Oh, these are rich people problems.
[LAUGHTER]
Well, no that's not, you can be on any beach
and see jet skis there.
But anyway, so Mila called me.
All right, so Ashton (LAUGHS) I know
there's a picture of you that--
you shouldn't be proud of this, and yet you are.
This is a paparazzi picture of Ashton.
Why?
Why are you proud of that picture?
I'm not, it's not that I'm proud of-- that's like a good week.
That shows me that I'm having a great week.
So I fluctuate about 10 pounds, right,
I got a 10 pound flux that happens.
I think we all do.
Right, and so I'm either ripping at like 198 or like 188.
And somewhere in this--
so when the pants are coming down,
that means that's a 188 week.
Oh, I see.
I'm feeling great.
Well, now I understand.
I understand.
This is like.
A gift for me, a gift for you, it's the holidays.
Yes.
Put it out there.
I understand now.
Ashton.
I know you're excited about my holiday
episode of Game of Games.
I'm all fired up.
We've made a holiday version of all of my favorite games.
This is a little taste of Danger Word that we'll be airing.
Here's my friend Kristen Bell to tell the people at home
what the danger word is.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
The winning word is ice, the danger word is frozen.
Brian, you will go first.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Cube.
Ice.
Yes!
Yes, Go Mom!
Yes, Ryan.
Yes.
Good job!
That was a good clue.
That was a really good job.
All right, so that's your first strike.
I am forced to push this right here.
And--
Oh no.
Oh no!
I'm terribly sorry.
I'm sorry, Earl.
[BEEPING, BOOM]
Oh my goodness.
Cranberry.
Ashton tell everyone when they can see the whole thing.
Let me tell you when you can see the whole thing.
If I were you, I would watch Ellen's Game of Games holiday
spectacular Wednesday at 8:00 on NBC.
That's when, they'll watch it then.