There is a scene in Michael Bay's 2003 film Bad Boys II, in which Marcus, played by Martin Lawrence,
has had enough of the tension between he and his partner Mike, played by Will Smith,
who had earlier accidentally shot him in the backside during a shootout.
Unbeknownst to the pair their conversation is being filmed on a camera
that has been left on a stand in the room and is being broadcast live to an adjacent store.
MIKE: 'bout what I did to yo ass...
MARCUS: When you pop me from behind, I think you damaged some nerves...
My ass still hurts
My ass still hurts from what you did to it the other night.
Woman: Oh my lord!
LINDSAY: To the store customers who don't have the benefit of context the narrative has provided to us,
Mike and Marcus's conversation sounds like a frank conversation between two gay lovers about their sex life.
MAN 1: That poor man is pouring out his heart...
MARCUS: I'm still flaccid.
MARCUS: I'm still flaccid. MIKE: Umm... okay.
MIKE: I mean we got caught up in the moment, shit got crazy... You know how I get.
MIKE: From now on you can't say the word "flaccid" to me.
MAN 2: He's a mean fuck!
Welcome back to The Whole Plate. This is Queer Theory.
[Intro music plays]
Yeah, that's right we're back and piggybacking off of...
Yeah, that's right we're back and piggybacking off of... last season.
Yeah, that's right we're back and piggybacking off of... last season. (That's what we're gonna call it.)
Slipping it under the wire for Pride Month, it's time to talk about Queer Theory.
And if you're wondering, "Really you're going to try to use Transformers to explain Queer Theory?"
Well, yeah, I mean A) that's kind of the point, but B) you can 'queer' anything.
SIMMONS: I am directly below the enemy scrotum.
Lindsay: Aaannnythinnnng...
Man: Bumblebee, stop lubricating the man!
So, Queer Theory is a relative newcomer to other frameworks like for instance Feminist Film Theory,
which itself is also kind of a newcomer, itself only about 50 years old in film studies.
Queer Theory really only began to get mainstream academic attention some twenty odd years after that.
...In no small part thanks to the AIDS crisis...
And like all of these theoretical frameworks does not necessarily have the same nomenclature everywhere.
There are plenty of people who do not like the term "Queer Theory"
because it is, in effect, an academic term that appropriates a reclaimed slur.
But Queer Theory is the most broad and common term in academia, so that's the one I'm using.
So what is the point of Queer Theory?
Well, like Feminist Theory, the ultimate point
is sort of to de-center the assumed default perspective of culture makers.
In this case straight people specifically:
straight, cis, white, men, as the sole arbiters of culture.
It uses this framework to study queer identity,
depictions of queer identity,
and also to reframe a queer perspective.
So yeah, there's actually a lot more to it than just...
You know, analyzing Brokeback Mountain over and over again.
This type of framework is necessary
because historically queer populations and perspectives have been marginalized;
and just as often pathologized;
and still are in many places in the world.
Happy Pride!
According to author Frederick Greene: [Lindsay Reads]
Though fairly new, Queer Theory is quite broad. It isn't just interpreting queer texts.
A lot of it is also interpreting and contextualizing queer-coding made by the straights.
I talked at much greater length about the difference between allegory and coding in our video about Bright
and why Bright is a Bad Movie.
But, in short, coding uses stereotyping and shorthand in order to get across a certain thing,
If you for instance want like effete villainy,
queer-coding's your boy.
Man: Hello! (giggles) Oooh lovely...
Lindsay: Coding appropriates stereotyping and shorthand
in order to get a point across.
and queer-coding has been a popular mainstream shorthand in film because the 'degenerates are bad'.
And you don't want to like them.
A common example of queer-coding often comes in the form of villainy. Peter Lorrie's villainous Joel Cairo,
in The Maltese Falcon, has become a sort of ur-example of this.
He is effeminate.
He's delicate.
He's conniving.
He's a little too into you.
Cairo: You stupid! Fat-head! You-! (sobbing)
Similarly we have the original Invisible Man, starring Claude Rains,
who spurns his fiancee, becomes invisible, tries to find a male partner in crime...
Rains: I must have a partner Kim.
Lindsay: And then becomes visible only after he is killed by the police.
Queer-coding and villains is not just limited to the 40's.
In fact his sort of coding would only get more explicit over time.
Examples contemporary to the original Transformers cartoon,
in which the villain was either an explicit or implied homosexual,
include Dressed to Kill...
Commando...
and Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior.
Man: Again, you have made me unleash my dogs of war.
And then of course there are the Disney villains:
[villain makes kissing sound]
Uncle Scar
Scar: Oh I shall practise my curtsy...
Governor Ratcliffe
Ratcliffe: See how I glitter!
Professor Ratigan and Basil - bitter exes.
Ratigan: Frankly, I expected you 15 minutes earlier (laughs)
Trouble with the chemistry set, old boy?
And of course,
Ursula, the Sea Witch.
Ursula: And don't underestimate the importance of body language! Ha!
Whose design was actually based on drag queen Divine.
Divine: I'd like to set fire to this dump!
Now while queer-coded villains can definitely have negative real-world repercussions
that doesn't mean that it's always negative.
Queer communities have often embraced queer-coded villains as a sort of Reclamation of Power.
Like "yeah, these are my people". It's also handy for questioning traditional power structures
which your typical Hollywood hero represents. There is a reason why those queers do so love their Disney villains.
Ratigan: See how I glitter!
Scar: Oh, I shall practise my curtsy...
Ursula: Body Language! Ha!
But queer-coding is not limited to villains. Superhero movies,
which the Transformers movies are, kind of. Arguably. also have elements of queer-coding.
Often the acquisition of superpowers, most notably with Spider-Man,
occurs during adolescence and what you do with said powers can read as an analog for coming to terms
with personal identity. Superhero movies have been known to have a certain...
...aesthetic...
Thor Ragnarok is an amazing recent example.
Valkyrie: Grandmaster uses it for his good times. Orgies and stuff...
Banner: Did just she say The Grandmaster uses it for orgies??
Thor: Yeah. Don't touch anything.
Lindsay: and was recently named by Vulture the gayest Marvel movie.
Ship Speakers: [high-pitched voice] ♫ It's my birthdaaaay! ♫
[sound of fireworks]
Superhero movies are often coming out narratives.
The X-Men films, particularly X 2, are very on-the-nose with this.
Mom: Have you tried... Not being a mutant?
Lindsay: A class of people,
focusing on teenagers who get their powers during adolescence,
are shunned by society,
And their narrative is about figuring out their place in the world.
Now, to call the transformers "superhero films"...
Which they kind of are...
Kind of. Or at least I think Hasbro
wanted them to be before Michael Bay just pumped them with so much hate.
But on paper...!
A lot of what makes superhero films
queer-coded has to do with the narrative arc,
the villain,
and where we come into it in the narrative. And in theory, the Transformers are well, they're well past adolescence.
There's definite queer coding in this idea that we have to hide our identity,
But... The movies do not bother with this at all.
So as it is since the movies for the most part kind of ignore the whole "Robots in Disguise" thing,
to me the whole Transformers concept would read more as an immigrant narrative
than a queer "coming out" narrative.
Which the movies kind of lean into.
Kind of.
Man: kicking the Autobots out. Can you believe this is happening?
Kind of... Oh god. It's so bad.
Wahlberg: I don't know what truck you're talking about.
Man 2: The kind that cost American lives.
Lindsay: But that doesn't mean that there's nothing here to work with.
According to film historian Lisa Perce in her book Contemporary Action Cinema:
"Action Cinema is traditionally masculinist,
heavily invested in reinforcing dominant constructions of masculinity
as active,
Physically strong,
rational, and powerful.
Values which, as we have seen, are predominantly embodied in the figure of the white heterosexual male.
There are no openly gay action heroes. Two exceptions might be asserted:
the detective thriller Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and
historical epic Alexander.
But despite the dominant narrative of most action movies
there is not to say that there is no queer-coding or undertones in action movies."
Lindsay: A lot of Michael Bay movies lend themselves to queer readings
as male-male relationships tend to be the focus in his films.
Again, see the example of Bad Boys, and Bad Boys 2. According to Perce, with regard to this scene,
"The two heterosexual male heroes are momentarily mis-recognized as gay, and unwittingly
perform homosexuality to the watching store customers.
The scene's comic frison derives not simply from the fact that it is a variation
on the long-standing comic trope of a straight man playing gay.
But also the film's assumption of the impossibility of an openly gay action hero."
Cop 1: Why don't you just give her a little kiss, man, you know so you'll feel better?
Cop 2: Hey just pretend like we're not even here.
Marcus: Isn't Ricky Martin having a concert?
Lindsay: In effect when Michael Bay does recognize queer identities it is to use them as a comic prop.
To reassert the absurdity of a queer action hero.
Connery: Losers always whine about "their best";
Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.
Lindsay: And of course there is Pain and Gain, a film which is deeply...
'Interested', in threats to traditional masculinity.
Oh Pain and Gain...
Wahlberg: I'm hot! I'm big!
Lindsay: Pain. and. Gain.
Wahlberg: Want to be a monument to physical perfection. You want to be a shrine?
You should be!
Lindsay: But here is the problem with queer readings in the Transformers movies:
The juvenile 'no-homo' humor is... there.
Sam: I've had a hell of a day!
Robot: Why don't you get a haircut with your bitch-ass? Go whine to your boyfriend!
Lindsay: Why would alien robots say that?
Robot: Oh, look who came sashaying back.
Lindsay: But despite there being lots of potential for queer readings in this franchise...
again "Robots in Disguise", fam!
Bay has scrubbed away that potential.
Most movies and television shows popular with queer readings tend to have characters that you know,
like each other. [she laughs]
Or at least grow to like each other.
In action movies the homoerotic subtext, especially in buddy action movies,
is often acknowledged and refuted. Michael Bay loves doing this.
Mike: From now on
You can't say the word "flaccid" to me.
Man: He's a mean fuck!
Lindsay: But the Transformers movies are characterized by people *not* liking each other.
Man: This your car? Huh?
Lindsay: Like, sure, on paper they do, but in practice...
Sam: I.. Adore you...
Woman: That's not the word that I want to hear right now.
Man: You get your ass kicked in Ireland for saying that.
Man 2: Well, we're not in Ireland Lucky Charms were in Texas.
[cut] So, he drives? What do you mean he drives, like for a living?
Woman: Yeah. At least he makes a living.
Lindsay: There are no buddies to be buddy-cops. Everyone makes constant reference to their loathing for
everyone else.
Even the robots
Especially the robots
Robot: what you get for taking a yellow bugger. You need a leader out there, like me.
Robot 2: Shut up!
Robot 3: Cut the crap before drop a grenade down your throat!
Robot 4: Oh, look who came sashaying back!
Robot 5: Hair grown like a chia pet.
Lindsay: Even the male-female relationships are characterized by distrust, insecurity, and possessiveness.
The male-male interactions are that, minus the pretence of trying to -quote- "make things work" -end quote-.
Mark Wahlberg competing with all of the boys to be the most masculine in the room
got two whole movies [laughs].
Wahlberg: I'd be happy to give you a tour.
I'll show you three other buyers I got buried out back then I'll crack your head open like an egg!
Lindsay: That is how 'no-homo' he is.
the Transformers themselves should naturally take on these roles of buddy-cop,
and do in most other Transformers media.
But Bay doesn't seem to know how to frame these human robot relationships.
Other than object-owner.
Sam is allowed to 'love' Bumblebee,
in the way that one loves one's property because Sam treats Bumblebee like his dog or his object.
Sam: That's Great! Just go in the garage quietly please??
Lindsay: There is no need for the requisite Bay-ian 'no-homo' because Bumblebee is effectively an animal.
And Sam's relationship with Optimus is utterly sterile
because Optimus functions basically as a military general.
Aside from one attempt at sincerity in Transformers One:
Optimus: You risked your life to protect the cube.
Sam: Through sacrifice, a victory.
Lindsay: Bay got bored of that pretty quick.
The closest we get to an actual camaraderie of partners is the Cogman / Anthony Hopkins relationship
in transformers 5. And speaking of queer-coding...
♫ [playing dramatic organ music] ♫
Cogman: ♫ [feminine operatic singing] ♫
Cogman: Let's make you presentable!
Man: Hey! Come On!
Cogman: All shiny! Spick and span!
Man: Back off!
Lindsay: Ah! there it is.
It took us five movies to finally get a bitchy C-3PO rip-off, but here we are.
Cogman: Leprechauns are tiny, green, and Irish and that is offensive.
Lindsay: He's British, he's a manservant,
he appears to be Anthony Hopkins' live-in partner.
Cogman: I was making the moment more... Epic.
Anthony Hopkins: Just be quiet!
What's the matter with you?
If I could find his neck, I'd strangle him.
You know if you don't stop it I will send you back to Sabaton in a little tiny box.
Cogman: Oh scary...
Lindsay: And he even makes a lovely sushi dinner for you loathsome straights.
Cogman: No canoodling!
Lindsay: So there it is: Cogman, the queerest thing in the Transformers movies,
and just as hate-filled as everything else.
And no doubt a solid 70% of you have already written
a novel-length screed in the comments that I am not going to read,
about, "what did you expect?
Why would you ever think you're going to get some queer readings in Transformers media?"
Ah yes, and that is the sound of the 30% of you who have read the IDW comics, and yes
you know exactly where we're going with this.
The recent trend in the IDW comics is not only to suggest that gender is a 'thing',
but not offer an explanation for it. Which honestly, Thank God.
because feeling compelled to explain the existence of why females might exist is tiresome
but also that, sure why wouldn't the Transformers pair-bond? And why would heteronormativity
even be a thing for a race of asexual robots? So in the comics there is pair-bonding,
there are different forms of pair-bonding, there are male robots, female robots,
non-binary robots...
even robots that were made one gender and then later decided "Wait, I'm actually a different gender".
They still fight, and turn into cars, and have relationships, and get married...
Well, they don't call it "getting married" but...
But gender doesn't really come into play because why would it?
The Transformers Universe is kind of like Star Wars, one with infinite possibilities.
So why not play with what gender and relationships would look like to alien robots?
Honestly, given the franchise's potential, the Michael Bay ouvre, and the way he *loves* stereotyping,
it's surprising that there isn't more deliberate queer-coding here to work with.
So what does this say about any emotional investment that Michael Bay has in these characters?
[Laughs]
Michael Bay's better films are also much more openly 'no-homo'.
Because his better films tend to be framed around a sort of relationship,
usually a male-male relationship,
but Bay also knows to speak to the insecurities that men have around these sort of relationships
which is in itself extremely telling.
And movies where people are allowed to like each other, by which I mean the male leads,
would have to take the time to acknowledge the inherent comedy of homoeroticism.
But in the Transformers movies,
a franchise in which everyone hates each other and are just kind of screaming at each other constantly,
there is no need to acknowledge mock or refute any inferred homoeroticism.
Because Bay doesn't even bother making the pretense that these characters can grow to like each other.
On an unrelated note:
I'm going to spend the rest of this year trying not to get my hopes up about Bumblebee.
A movie which,
Michael Bay has,
almost nothing to do with.
Happy pride!
♫ [electronica music plays] ♫