We have all had family arguments or occasional disagreements in our lives
over more-or-less important matters, and while it is perfectly normal not to agree on something,
this does not mean we can’t appreciate someone just because they have different ideas from ours.
The perfect family does not exist. Having said that, however,
if these occasional family conflicts have been clarified, we are good with each other, we love
each other, and are ready to help each other in times of need. We should appreciate what we have
and not take it for granted. Many people do not have the luxury to have a family to count on.
Being born into the "wrong" family can affect a person for the rest of his days.
In today's video, we will see 5 signs that you are living in a toxic family.
Let’s see what these 5 signs are: 1. You feel invisible and misunderstood
This can happen mainly, but not necessarily, in larger families.
While not all of us give importance to receiving attention from the crowd,
it is normal to want to feel considered by the people closest to us and to feel loved.
If your parents always seem too busy to spend time with you, either because
they work too much or because they have other interests and don't seem to care how you feel
or what you have to say by behaving as if you don't exist or are insignificant,
this is clearly not a healthy relationship. There are also times when having someone to talk to,
someone who understands you is essential - if in those circumstances your family members are not
there for you or do not seem to care about your feelings, the situation may become problematic.
2. You feel under excessive pressure
Most parents want the best for their children, but often their expectations are unrealistic,
exaggerated, or otherwise out of sync with your wishes. The well-known psychotherapist Carl Rogers
stated that in this type of situation you only feel loved and accepted by your family when you
achieve results that meet their expectations, and this shouldn't happen. Furthermore,
putting pressure on every little mistake by making sure to always point it out instead of turning a
blind eye, not only won't help the situation, but could actually have a negative impact on the
confidence you will have in yourself, making you grow with the perennial fear of making mistakes.
3. You feel suffocated When you are at home,
you want to live in a serene environment where your spaces are respected and you feel at ease.
There are times when you want to be on your own and shouldn't feel obligated to spend all your
free time with your family, and they should respect your choices without making you feel
guilty for abandoning them or being left alone. Even worse, if the family environment is
particularly negative, with constant complaints and futile dramas for every little thing,
they look for any reason to complain about something even when positive events happen.
In their opinion, if they can't be happy, you don't have the right to be either.
This continuous sense of negativity is clearly something we all want to detach ourselves from.
Over time, living surrounded by negative people who do not respect your space
will lead you to live a miserable life, and often the only solution to
this problem for the sake of your sanity is to leave and change your environment.
4. You test their power
This behavior is common among couples who are constantly arguing, using their children as pawns
in their quarrels, or even worse, in couples who are about to get divorced or have divorced and use
their children to take advantage of the situation, and not necessarily for the good of the child.
These situations can be traumatic for those in between, as they create a destructive,
chaotic, and unstable environment in which no one would want to grow up.
5. You feel like your value depends on what you can give
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you have thought things like
"My brother only calls me when he needs me" or "My uncle only shows up when he wants money"?
These situations are particularly annoying because, in addition to feeling manipulated,
you always have the feeling that these people wouldn't care less about you if they didn't have
clear ulterior motives in mind. Even worse is when these situations are not so obvious or direct,
when someone you particularly care about suddenly starts to be nicer and kinder to you, and maybe
you are initially pleasantly impressed by it, only to find out later that this sudden change
in attitude was simply due to the the fact that this person wanted something in return from you.
Avoid these situations from occurring. Be determined and learn to say "no" more often.
Recognizing the symptoms of a problem is the first step towards its solution.
If you see yourself in some of these points, try to rationally evaluate how they are
affecting your life and ask yourself how you can go about resolving them.
Sometimes, leaving is the best way. If you also believe that the impact of these behaviors on your
life is particularly serious, do not hesitate to contact a professional who can help you
overcome your situation – you, like everyone, have the right to a happy and peaceful life,
and nobody should deprive you of this, especially the people closest to you.
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