(whistle blows)
- It's Easter baby, let's go.
- [Zach] Oh my god! (dramatic upbeat music)
- Today we are competing in a drunk vs. stoned
Easter egg hunt.
- Oh! Alcohol! - You have to drink those!
- I found happiness.
- Hello.
- Who hid this (beep).
- [Ned] I got a chicken sandwich!
- [Keith] Aw, damnit!
(Ned yells)
(upbeat music)
- Hey y'all.
So we filmed this video a few months ago
well before quarantine, so do not go outside
with those dirty little eggs
and them dirty little kids
with their dirty little hands.
Stay in the safety of your own home.
Get a little tipsy, get a little stoned.
Hide eggs in your living room.
And to my good Christian people out there,
Jesus is in your heart and in your home,
he is not at Sunday service, spreading COVID.
Stay safe, enjoy the video.
Happy Easter.
(dramatic music)
- I like this holiday 'cause this is the only holiday
that's celebrated with competition.
And you're teaching children to run
and beat other children.
And your reward?
Candy.
- Team drunk over here. - Definitely gonna win.
- We do not smoke the ganj. (laughs)
Did I say that right?
- Yeah, sure. Yeah.
(jazzy music) - Jesus turned water
into wine and we're gonna drink it all.
- We have done nothings Jewish, we have done zero,
absolutely zero.
We've done multitudes of Christmas videos,
we're doing this Easter hunt.
So I'm gonna get stoned.
(orchestral music) - You guys need dumber ways
to celebrate your holidays.
That's really it.
It's not our fault that we --
- Have you seen Purim?
People dress up, it's Halloween
in a different month. - Then why don't?
Then why aren't you bringing it to us?
I feel like you're keeping it from us.
- Damn right I am. - We're trying to share.
- 'Cause you're not a chosen person.
- Exactly.
We're not.
That's why we have to decorate our yards with eggs.
- [Zach] I think I'm totally high.
(upbeat music) - [Producer] No, no.
Ned, Ned, Ned, Ned, Ned, Ned, Ned.
- Ned, Ned, Ned, Ned. - Ned, Ned, Ned, Ned,
that's good, that's good.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, it's vodka and redbull.
- All right. - So for this
Easter egg hunt there are a couple rules.
- Yeah.
- One, we can't leave my backyard.
- Two, we find the eggs.
- [Eugene] Ignore the helicopter
and the jackhammer in the distance.
- Three, once you find an egg you gotta do
what the surprise is inside.
Four, I arready saw where one is so I'm gonna get
that one first.
(upbeat percussion music) - The team with the
most eggs by the end
of the day wins the Easter egg hunt.
- Yep.
Is it gonna be drunk or is it gonna be high?
- I have no idea.
- Toke up your favorite substance and let's find out.
(horn blares)
- All right. - Secret mail. Secret mail.
Got it!
What is it gonna be?
Wooooo!
- A Peep!
(whistle blows)
- I think we will not be better than team alcohol.
I think they're gonna be very aggressive,
they're gonna be running and getting hurt.
- Wait I found it next to him. - Look out!
(whistle blaring)
Just don't puke in my backyard.
- I'm not gonna puke.
(blocks tumble over) (Ned laughs)
- I got two!
Yeah, bitch.
- Are we gonna be better at the hunt?
Mmmm.
But will we be better at life?
You betcha.
We're gonna savor every single moment.
Oh Keith my boy, I found a sparkly egg.
It has glitter, this one is special.
(gasps) A Peep?
A (beep) Peep?
- I got an egg.
A little bird and it says. (Ned whistling)
Aw it's a picture of Becky.
I'm married to Becky now.
We all knew that.
- Hey guys! - Ned.
- Guys I got a golden one.
It's a shot.
(laughs) I'm joining the other team!
(ding) I dressed as
if I was a cute three or four year old today.
I wanted to be a cutie pie.
Woo-hoo!
Watch your step, don't fall down.
(whistle blows)
- Doritos taco!
I would wreck one of those.
Hell yes!
God this is the best day ever.
- Dude, this one is huge.
This is gonna be the grand prize,
I bet you there's freaking diamonds in here.
(dramatic music) It's a ring pop?
- I'm really focused on winning.
I really want more eggs (repeated dinging)
and I feel like I don't want the high people to beat me.
- [Keith] Ohhh!
Ohhh!
I got a burger!
Boy, I sure wish I had some Keith's Chicken Sauce
available at keithschickensauce.com. (ding)
- Chicken nuggets! (ding ding)
(Ned eats loudly)
Ayooo!
What's it gonna be?
Crunchwrap Supreme!
Let's take a moment to appreciate how delicious fast food,
Mexican food is. (angelic voices)
Mmm.
Gets better the older you get.
Let's (beep) do this!
- It's all sparkled. - Hold up.
- Found a krabby patty. - Ohhhhh!
Five bucks!
- What the (beep) man.
Are you (beep) serious.
- You know sometimes when you get stoned
you have like superpowers.
Like all of a sudden you're just like,
you're zeroed in on a task and you're like
"Oh my god guys did you know I could juggle?
Apparently I can juggle."
I'm gonna tap in today.
Ooh!
Ah.
Doritos taco! (ding)
Do I want this?
(bell chimes)
This looks certainly littered with cheese.
(Zach laughs) - Let's fucking do this.
- Hey Eugene, you want a taco?
- Nah, that's for you.
Found one!
- Yo, Keith you want a taco?
I can't eat this.
- Yeah.
- [Zach] Okay but I want a bite of something
if you get it.
- [Keith] Okay, I only have cheese things so far.
- Damn they aren't thinkin' about me.
- [Keith] They really aren't.
- [Eugene] What are? Uh.
Look what I found.
- Oh you have to drink those! - Oh! Alcohol!
- [Ned] You got iced! (ding)
- [Producer] Okay.
- Smirnoff mother (beep). - Did it.
- Let me get this. (laughs)
- No Ned - Wait.
- you didn't get iced.
- I iced myself.
- Great. - I regret it every second.
- Now a lot of times being drunk impairs you
far beyond being high.
But, when it comes to games.
- You ever notice you get a little better at bar games
once you've had a few drinks?
- That's right.
- Got one.
Holy (beep) shit.
I just got a hundred dollars. - Oh my god!
(slow, bouncy music)
- [Keith] You guys see any eggs?
- [Producer] Who got the?
- Look at this he's so squishy.
Look how cute this is.
Hello.
And then he's all squishy.
It feels great.
It's a good feeling.
Here look, touch this.
Touch this.
- (gasps) Ohhhh wow.
- [Keith] You can have it I got a snail.
- Thanks, man.
- [Keith] Yeah dude it feels good.
- Is it here?
You guys aren't hiding in the places you should.
(laughter)
That's where I would hide one.
- [Zach] I know.
- That's where I'd hide an egg.
This is where I'd put an egg.
No eggs.
Who hid this shit?
Huh? No.
- [Keith] It's the cutest picture of Ariel and Wes.
- No way. - Little baby,
little tiny baby.
- I'd trade you, - Look at the baby.
- I'll trade you an egg for that.
- Can I have a bite of taco? - Crunchwrap Supreme?
This is Ned's.
It's a Crunchwrap Supreme.
- No but I need that.
- But I have some, - Here you can have this.
- [Keith] Here, you take this.
- [Ned] Okay.
- [Keith] Thanks, dope.
- [Ned] I'll take your Shake Shack for this.
- Nuh-uh.
- Bitch, what? - No way, man.
You crazy?
- Oh, yeah.
(suspenseful music)
There are ants
all over that Peep. (dramatic music)
Why are there so many bugs when we're high?
Look at that, that is disgusting.
(orchestral music)
The Easter bunny, an icon to furries everywhere.
- I always liked the Easter bunny no matter
how horrifying it was presented.
- [Zach] Oh my god! (jazzy music)
- Oh my god! - No!
No!
I do not like this. - I don't like it one bit.
- I don't like this.
- [Eugene] When Jesus rose from the dead.
- Boom. - Do you know
who rolled over that tombstone?
- The bunny. - The bunny.
And you know what the bunny did after Jesus came out of it?
He put his eggs in there,
'cause he was like, (rapid fire sound)
"wow this is the best hiding place."
You know who came and found it?
(beep) children.
- [Ned] Yep.
- [Eugene] Children came and they were like,
"Whoa look at these eggs."
- [Ned] A brief history --
- [Both] Of the Easter bunny.
- Yeah. - Mhmm.
- Oh I don't like this costume.
- All right let's go.
- Can I, should we sit on your lap or what.
- [Keith] No.
- [Ned] Easter bunny,
come here to good good. - I hate the costume.
I hate it.
- [Ned] Where are the eggs?
Bunny!
Where are your eggs?
- Yeah,
I'm the master of Easter. (ding)
Oh, it's just a peep. (laughs)
I should be looking up.
- Well the rabbit can't see so I really am just sort
of a Grandma.
Like a, just a leader.
Just take the head off.
Alexander, just show us your true form.
Just hold the head under your arm like you're.
How was it in there?
- It's really sweaty.
- Uh huh.
You should help me
because I specifically dedicated time to you.
- [Alexander] Okay.
- I'm just chillin' at this point.
I feel good.
Life is great.
I've found happiness.
Man, this holiday is awesome.
Thanks, Jesus.
- You (beep) serious? (coughs)
There's 56 (beep) eggs here?
- 56 eggs to find.
56 which of course is the number
of times it took Jesus to open the cave.
- What if somebody hid it under the crawl space?
- [Producer] We didn't.
- [Keith] Yeah but what if the Easter bunny did.
- [Producer] He didn't.
Tell me he did not look down there.
(whistle blowing)
- I do not think anyone hid it under the crawl space.
- I don't see anymore eggs.
I don't know where the eggs are.
Egg?
Ahh! That was my head.
I found this football.
But it's not an egg.
It should be an egg, right here y'know?
(Eugene yells)
(beep)
- It's a football. Gotcha.
It's a booby trap.
(Ned yells)
- [Keith] Oh my god, Ned your sons things!
- Ariel's going to be very upset.
Wes is out for a walk with Ariel.
- Aw, Wes won't be there? - But while we're home,
yeah I didn't think it was
a good video for like, - No I don't think so either.
- Wes to be around with. (producer laughs)
(Ned yells)
- [Producer] Get the giant egg out.
- I just found one buried in the rocks
how did we miss that? (ding)
Oh my god.
Miles B?
Your boy's getting chicken nuggets.
- Aw. - Wooo!
- What a dream.
What a day.
I am rising.
- That's pretty good. (chicken clucks)
- [Zach] You want a nugget?
- Okay.
Thanks.
- Chicken party.
Zachary is gonna eat so much chicken.
- Rachel do you have any sauce or is that a separate card?
(ding ding ding)
Well I don't know man.
It's tough.
I just feel so accomplished.
I really feel like king of the world.
I got a bag full of plastic eggs and chicken nuggets.
What? You think I'm gonna feel more than this?
This is it.
Peak of happiness right here.
- Johnathan.
Here is an advantage I have.
I know my own backyard over other people.
Therefore,
Keith get.
- Oh my god. - Get.
- Oh my god. - Get! Get away!
- [Keith] Ned.
Ned has too much power. - Get away!
Get away!
This is my house.
- [Zach] Are you kidding me?
- [Ned] Zach get it, get it.
- Are you kidding me? - Get it. Get it.
- Are you out
of your (beep) mind? - Get.
Eugene. You cool.
- Some people suck, man. (laughs)
- Hello?
Eggs?
Yeah?
(mischievous music)
Just pick it up for me.
Oh, thank you.
Nice job, Easter bunny.
Easter bunny helped me out.
A shot.
Okay.
(ding)
Last night I went to a hockey game
and the only other people in the box with us
were a bunch of freshman in high school, girls.
So that's who we hang out with, are own group of people
it was just a very bizarre party, but they were very nice.
To Easter.
This is fun, I'm having such a fun time.
Wooo!
(kazoo music)
- I found one!
It's gold.
(gasps)
Burger.
Hell yeah.
You's a bunny.
- I appreciate that.
- It says "a shot".
I need a shot.
Apparently.
(ding)
The one thing that could bring us down is
if we have one too many shots.
- That's true. - You know what I mean?
There is a tipping point. - There's a tipping point
that's very hard to, - Malcolm Gladwell
said it best.
- Yeah.
- You have too many shots, you're under the table.
- [Eugene] Exactly.
- [Ned] Paraphrased.
- [Zach] I feel like I have to ruin his plants
and go walking through them,
but I don't wanna ruin his plants.
- Go where no man has gone before.
I haven't even ever been to this part of my lawn.
- We got a football.
Why these footballs sitting around?
I don't like it.
- I found it!
- [Cameraman] Found another one?
What'd you find.
- Shit.
It's just a football.
(cameraman laughs)
- Wait!
It's an egg! (celebratory trumpets)
Yes!
- [Cameraman] Shut up, you found one?
- I found one, baby.
I got a chicken sandwich!
- Aw, damnit!
(Ned yells) (chicken clucks)
- I'll give you my chicken sandwich for like, 10 eggs.
- No, five eggs. - No.
- Six eggs.
- Six eggs you got it. - Six eggs, done.
Deal, we got a deal.
- Six.
- [Zach] Oh, great.
- So. Hell yeah. - Great.
Got another fry.
- Yeah you can take --
- Got a fry for free.
- Yeah the fries are good, the fries are tip.
- Yo, since I gave up my win as well can I get a bite
of that chicken sandwich?
- Mhmm.
- Hell yeah.
- [Producer] Hey Ned.
Guys let's count our eggs, please.
- That was really fun.
I thought we really recaptured
what it mean to like be a kid on an Easter egg hunt.
I didn't get everything I wanted to get today,
but I got a lot of good stuff I feel blessed.
(drum roll)
(cymbals)
- Congratulations, team drunk.
You are the winners.
But you know what?
I think we're all winners here today.
Because we all got
some chickies. (chicken cluck)
- Turns out, if you can trade a chicken sandwich
for egg you can get the most eggs.
- So what we learned is drunk people are swindlers
and high people are super food-oriented.
- 'Til next time, that was high.
- Ned, take it away.
- It's winter baby, that means serranos are in season.
(pepper crunches)
- [Producer] Aren't those really hot?
- Oh my god.
Oh my god.
- [Producer] Ned, why did you do that?
- Ahhhh!
(rock music)