- I never thought I'd make this video.
What up everyone, it's your girl, Superwoman.
And during high school, I could not wait
for high school to be over.
Like 8:30 AM class, and you gotta wear pants, no thanks,
but now that I'm much older, when I look back
to my high school days, there's a lot
of things I actually really miss about high school,
so if you're in high school, cherish these moments,
but if you're old like me, let's together,
take a walk down memory lane, but first,
don't forget your orthotics, and a box of tissues,
to wipe away your salty tears.
Mmm 'dat real truth.
Number one, lockers.
The moment I was assigned my first locker in high school
was literally one of the best moments of my entire life.
Wait hold up, hold up, so you're telling me,
that this designated space, on this wall,
is solely for my belongings?
Don't kill me!
Why was I so excited about my first locker?
I have no idea,
I treated that 'ish like the ring from The Lord of the Rings
Just like every morning. My precious!
Legit, my locker turned me into Smeagol,
because it's not just about the locker.
No, no, it's about the things that come with the locker.
The locker decor.
My locker had a mirror in it, okay,
and let me just clarify, not just any mirror.
No, no, my mirror, okay.
That was for my face, and my face only.
This ain't no community mirror in no bathroom.
No, no, I'm not no 4th grade peasant
that has to share my mirror space.
No, I'm a 9th grader, with needs, and I need a mirror
that can handle my 9th grade reflection.
I'm like mother f'n Mulan 3.0, okay!
♫ When will my reflection show
♫ who I am inside ♫
In grade nine.
Not to mention, getting my locker decorated for my birthday.
Getting your locker decorated on your birthday,
is a mandatory obligation of friendship.
If it's your birthday and you stroll into school,
turn the hallway, and your locker's not decorated,
your parents might as well forgot you at the wall,
you might as well run away, you might as well be
that other brother, that's not Nick or Joe,
in the Jonas Brothers, 'cause no one remembers you.
Having your locker decorated in high school,
is the modern day equivalent to Facebook
letting everybody know it's your birthday.
If someone ever, ever, came up to me in high school,
and was like, hey it's my birthday, and you don't have
the decorated locker to back it up, I would laugh,
I would laugh in your face,
because it can't be your birthday,
with that basic looking locker.
You tellin' me, you over here tellin' me it's your birthday,
your locker looks like the before picture
in a makeup tutorial.
Your locker be looking like a Mcflurry with no toppings,
okay, your locker looks like a Mccloudy.
Your locker is so basic, it looks like the first level
of every video game, okay, so don't step to me
requesting a birthday wish,
if your locker doesn't look like a Katy Perry outfit,
because what you're doing, is you're wasting my time.
You being disrespectful, and you look like a fool.
(laughs)
Number two, supply teachers.
Okay, I'ma be real, I have a very soft spot
for supply teachers in my heart,
because kids are horrible to them,
and I don't encourage anyone to be mean to supply teachers,
or any teachers because it honestly breaks my heart,
but I will say as a high school student,
you do have the right to try to convince a supply teacher
of some fake rules, just a few, nothing crazy.
Miss, miss, usually our teacher lets us leave
40 minutes early from class.
Miss, yeah no, our normal teacher
usually doesn't take attendance.
Miss, I don't know what you're talking about,
there was no homework due today.
Oh no miss, we're allowed to watch YouTube videos in class.
Miss, I swear to god, we're allowed to swear in class,
I mean ask Julie. Julie, are we allowed to swear in class?
Julie and Matt are saying it,
I don't know what more proof you need
if me, Julie, and Matt are all saying we're allowed
to swear in class, I mean what kind of democracy is this?
There's a special place in hell
for all high school students.
Number three, going to the mall.
I don't know about you, but my high school
was across the street from a mall,
and for some reason, going to the mall during lunch break
was the coolest thing on the planet.
Like if you weren't going to the mall, what were you doing?
The answer, is nothing.
Bell rings, lunch starts, just cross the street
like an old G, like nah nah brah I can't talk right now,
I'm waling to the mall.
Unless you walkin' to the mall,
we can't be having this conversation,
because the mall is where it's at right now.
Slow motion walking to the food court.
Buy the cheapest item at McDonald's,
pose up at a table just like, yo, we all here eating lunch.
Hashtag mall life,
and yo, don't get it twisted, I'm up here in the mall,
if I wanted to, I could go into any retail establishment
and pretend like I'm gonna buy something,
because I got options.
I'm over here off school property.
I'm on my cell phone, I'm chewing gum.
You see this snapback that's on my head.
Ain't nothing you can do about it.
We all here in the mall alright,
what you think this a game boy.
What up t-shirt reference! It's been a while.
Number four, the date.
I'ma be real with you okay, I haven't known
what day it is, since I graduated.
Without having to write the date every day in my binder,
I don't know what the f is going on.
The other day I woke up on the weekend feeling good,
excited, I'm like, oh I slept in, this is amazing.
Six hours later, I found out it was Wednesday.
I can't even confidently throw back Thursday on Instagram.
I can't even say club goin' up on a Tuesday,
because let's be real, it might be Monday,
then I'm gonna look like a fool and lose all my street cred'
I can't take that risk.
Number five, bathroom breaks.
Going to the bathroom in high school
is 10% because you have to pee, and 90%
to have a secret meet-up with your friends.
Back when I was in high school, there was two ways
to arrange a secret meet-up.
The first way is the pre-arranged time.
We like, yo Stacey, 10:35 AM, first flour bathroom,
don't be late, I'll be waiting.
This ever happen to you, you arrange a time,
you're sitting in class, it's 10:34, you're like
okay one minute left, I got this,
and then Bobby over here raises his hand
and has to go to the washroom, and you're like,
this guy intervening with my 'ish.
Bobby, Lilly's gonna be downstairs, up in the washroom
cold, alone, shivering, thinking I forgot about here, Bobby!
Sorry Lilly, I ruined our whole entire friendship
because Bobby over here, he's gotta piss.
Bobby needs a new bladder, Bobby.
Maybe you should stop eating bean burritos
for breakfast Bobby.
Then you wouldn't be messin' with my friendship Bobby!
F'n Bobby!
If your name is Bobby, I'm so sorry.
Or number two, you slowly walk by your friends classroom
and try to drop signals.
(crowing)
(clearing throat)
Can Lacy please report to the first floor bathroom?
(whistling)
That five minute bathroom break
with your friends in high school,
is the best turn up you can have.
Walk into the bathroom like, yo what's goin' on,
I haven't seen you since first period.
You look taller, how you been?
Your friends just like, oh my god,
so Erik finally talked to me, and you're like girl,
you have 2.5 minutes to tell me everything,
but wait don't you have to pee?
Do I have to pee? Don't be ridiculous!
Number six, peer evaluation.
Okay, now I'm gonna be straight up with you.
I'm sure being the teacher is hard, it's difficult,
you deal with a lot, you have a lot of work to do,
but in all honesty, peer evaluation is a complete
and utter joke, so what you're telling me is this test,
this test right here.
That's gonna determine my final grade in this class?
I'm gonna finish it and them I'm gonna pass it backwards,
to my best friend sitting right there,
who's gonna mark my test, that I did completely in pencil.
Is that what you're telling me?
Are you okay? Is your brain working teacher?
Do you understand what you're telling me?
Well what the hell are you doing?
I'm gonna become a doctor one day,
and accidentally kill people, and it's gonna be your fault,
because I'm about to get 100% on this test right now.
Although, let's be real, real friends don't give
other friends 100%, because that's way to obvious.
They give them like a good 97, 98%,
and heaven forbid, you turn around,
and the girl who's sitting behind you is
that girl who's boyfriend you accidentally made out with,
you might as well just start walking
to summer school right now, I don't care if it's February,
because girl, you goin' to clown college.
You get your test back, and it's like, 4% okay.
Question number one, what's four to the power of 60.
Answer you wrote, watermelon.
I don't remember writing that, damn!
And that, my friends is what we call karma.
High school edition.
Oh what's that, you accidentally flirted with my boyfriend,
oh my god would you look at that,
looks like you didn't answer anything on the second page.
Yeah, I really do miss high school,
but then I remember that now I'm an adult,
and I can do whatever the f I want, and life is great,
so I feel better about it.
Yo I hope you enjoyed that video.
If you did, give it a big thumbs up,
let's see how many thumbs up we can get,
cause yo, that 'ish makes me feel good in my heart.
Comment below letting me know if I forgot anything
about what your best high school experiences were.
Just let me know because I wanna know.
Check out my last video.
It's right there, it's called
the difference between you and your parents.
my vlogs are right there on my second channel.
Also AT2UI MOVIE is available on YouTube Red.
The link is in the description. Check that out.
It's good, I promise it's good, so go ahead and watch that.
Also make sure you subscribe,
because I make new videos every Monday, and Thursday.
One love Superwoman.
That is a wrap, and zoop! Bobby!