Today is Friday.
Happy Friday, everybody.
Hope you have a great weekend.
Friday is usually when I catch up
on some personal stuff, you know.
I check my inbox, of course, on Fridays.
I return some e-mails, and of course,
I write out thank you notes.
Well, I was running --
I was running a bit late -- running behind today.
What's that?
-You were really running behind today?
-Yeah, I was running behind today,
so I just didn't get around to doing my thank you notes.
-What were you doing?
-Oh, I was, um...
I was teaching myself new skateboard tricks
with those finger skateboards, remember that?
So -- Hours. -Hours.
-Yeah, I mastered it. -Ollie, Ollie!
Ollie. Yeah.
I was just wondering if you guys wouldn't mind --
could I write out my weekly thank you notes right now?
Is that --
I'll take that as a yes.
James can I get some thank you note-writing music, please?
♪♪
Thank you, "Loki" poster,
♪♪
For looking like you were designed by someone
who got their start making ransom notes.
"Meet me at the docks at midnight?"
-Loki.
♪♪
Thank you, Lucky Charms,
for partnering with Marvel to release Loki Charms.
Although personally, I can't wait for Groot Loops.
-Nice one. Nice one. -Groot Loops.
-Very nice.
♪♪
Thank you, "The Bachelorette", for being a show
where a bunch of guys show you exactly why they're single.
No.
"Hi, I'm Tad G, I'm an entrepreneur."
-Yeah. -Wow.
-Yeah -You, too?
-You, too? All of you?
-All of us are entrepreneurs.
-And you only share five names.
That's a good -- -Yeah, we went --
This is the Tad season. -Yeah.
-You must be talking about Tad D.
-No, Tad J. I was talking about.
-The entrepreneur?
-Yeah.
-Oh, yeah, you're right. That is Tad J.
-Yeah, that's him, bro.
♪♪
Thank you "Springsteen on Broadway" --
coming back!
For being one of the best shows to get tickets for
and the worst show to be an understudy for.
"Ladies and gentlemen, tonight,
the role of Bruce Springsteen will be played by Terry."
-Hey!
One, two -- one, two, three and four.
♪ I grew up on the streets of Jersey ♪
♪ And I didn't know much, so I went to Mersey ♪
♪ And over in London things were pretty hectic ♪
And -- I can't.
♪ Didn't expect it -- ♪ expect it?
♪ Didn't expect it. ♪ -Yeah, yeah.
-♪ You wanted Bruce, but it's me, Terry ♪
♪ You didn't expect it ♪ Right?
-Yeah. Keep it going.
-Sure. Sure. -Yeah.
Yeah, of course. Great.
Yeah, Jimmy you're great.
Jimmy, everything's cool. What you did out there
rapping was so awesome.
Don't check the internet.
-Don't. Seriously, don't.
No -- -It was great.
-Give me your phone. -It was so funny.
-Oh my God. I loved it.
-What you did -- that rap, when you improvised,
oh, that just did -- That was so good.
Don't check the Internet. Just stay away.
Stay away for the weekend.
Just stay away from it.
What do you care, right? -Yeah.
-What do you care? -What you did was interesting.
-Yes. I loved it.
I just want to say that.
-I've never -- I've seriously never heard anything like it.
Like, I never heard anything like it.
-Ever. Ever. -Ever.
And I've been working in the business for a long time
and I've never heard anything like what you just did.
Don't check the Internet.
Don't read the -- Don't pick up the phone.
If anyone calls you, don't pick it up.
-Yes. -Why would you answer anything?
Just take the weekend. Get on -- Do you have a hammock?
Lay on -- -Do you have an island?
Do you have a place where you get no reception?
-[ Laughs ]
And island? -Yeah, an island
or something like that. Just go there.
You know what I mean? -Like, you have like a cave?
Is there a cave you want to, like, explore?
Go spelunk. -Spelunk, man.
-Dude, this is the weekend for spelunking.
Go check out the cave and just get in there man.
And don't get out until Monday.
-You have any Bose soundproof headsets?
-Yeah. How about the box it came in?
Put the box over your head.
Don't look at anything, don't listen to anything.
But what you did was -- [ Smooches ]
I mean -- Whatever that means, you know.
Please don't -- Please don't ever do it again.
You know, could be whatever. -Yeah.
-Don't -- Don't try to replicate it because it was...
mmm.
-No, I would say don't do it again.
-Because -- -Because it was too --
-It was what it was. -Yeah.
-And -- And if you do it again, why?
You know. -You did it.
-That's just my advice. -You did it.
-You definitely -- You did --
You did it. [ Laughs ]
♪♪
Thank you, summer, for being the time
we all reconnect with our true best friends,
anyone who has a pool.
New pool.
♪♪
Thank you, everyone being unsure about
when you're supposed to wear a mask,
for insuring 2021 will be the year of the chin swing.
Chin swing.
-We're good? -Oh, I knew.
I'm wearing this for warmth. -100%.
♪♪
Thank you, wedding invitations for letting me
finally give my fridge what it's always been missing --
a photo of my second cousin holding hands with some dude
I've never met.
You guys look happy. -Every day.
♪♪
Thank you, hockey, for being invented
by someone who looked at figure skating
and thought, "That's cool, but could we add punching?"
Maybe?
♪♪
Thank you, Philadelphia's naked bike ride
for being the one day a year when people in Philly
show more crack than the Liberty Bell.
There you have it.
Those are the thank you notes.