From Joe Garcia... he says "hey Tripp. I first want to thank you for everything you do. My entire
life I've suffered from severe approach anxiety. And I thought I would never get over it. Finding
your podcast a few years ago has completely changed my life. I no longer have any issues
going up to strangers and starting a conversation. In the year leading up to the pandemic, I can
confidently say that I had sex with more women than the entire rest of my life combined. And I
owe it all to you. So again, thank you." You're very welcome Joe. He says... my question for you
stems from a recent interaction with the girl I matched with on Hinge. We had a great conversation
and set up a date. However, due to both of our schedules, the earliest day that worked for us
was 6 days away. My plan was to reach back out a day or two before the date just to reconfirm.
But on the day I planned to text her, she texted me first as follows: "Not that you remember me,
but I'm not interested in a date in the future. I prefer to get to know people leading up to when
we can meet in person and seem to have interest in getting to know someone. Take care and good luck."
I was quite taken aback since our initial conversation went so well.
I apologize for offending her and wished her luck. Since then I've been on two dates with
two different women and have a third set for this weekend. I'm in no way hung up on this. But I just
wondered what your thoughts were and if you had any advice to help avoid something like
this in the future. Thank you once again, Joe Garcia." Joe, basically what you're asking here
is that you have had a situation where there's a girl that you're interested in and you're on
Hinge and you're going through the motions of texting her and she says on the dating app "I'm
not interested in a date in the future. I prefer to get to know some people leading up to when we
can meet up in person and seem to have interest in getting to know someone. Take care and good luck."
It's interesting that you said here that you apologized to her for offending her. I think
that's very interesting, because I don't see where you offended her. Offending someone is
by literally putting them down in some way. I see that there is a difference in how two
people connect. You're interested in just meeting up with someone, and she's interested in trying to
connect with you and text with you and talk with you before you meet up in person. I don't see that
as offensive. First of all, get out of that nice guy mindset and don't apologize for something that
you assume offended her when I don't think you did. Now here's the deal. What's happening here is
she... first of all, she says to you that she met someone else. I think that's the real reason.
I think that you could have talked to her and talked to her and whatever,
but she met someone else and whatever. I don't think it was going to work out in the long run.
However, you have to understand here is that these are women we don't want to be dealing with. Why,
it's a waste of your time. Now I understand maybe doing a FaceTime because you guys can't meet up.
And it's interesting too how you guys still immediately agreed to meet up. It's weird that she
agreed to that. All of a sudden now her boundaries come up. Why now her boundaries come up? She
agreed to meet with you. We'll say this again. She agreed to meet with you and then all of a sudden,
she's like "well, no nevermind." Sounds like that was a red flag, sounds like this girl has no idea
what she wants. But if there is a situation where you can't meet up with a girl on a dating app for
7 to 10 days plus, the best thing you can do is do a FaceTime because she's going to be talking
to other guys and you want to make sure that you have an opportunity in there. You do one FaceTime,
that's it. One FaceTime 10 to 20 minutes and then you can set up a date in person.
But still understand that you do not want to waste your time.
Texting with girls and FaceTiming with girls for hours on end before you meet up with them. Yes,
I understand that this is going to push away a select few women. But
that's for them. Let's focus on what you want. We don't want to appease women too much here in
this sense. In this sense, this is more of like, this is just not a match. You don't want to be
just like doing everything that this girl wants. No, I'm assuming, especially based on what you're
saying here, is that you wanted to meet up with her at a pretty reasonable rate. You wanted to
meet up with her and you didn't want to text. You just want to meet up with her. Of course he did.
I don't blame you. That's the point of dating, to meet up with someone. That's what you prefer.
You don't need to deal with women who don't prefer that. It's better for you to do that because you
prefer it but you should prefer it anyways because that's where the real connection happens. So
we can argue whether or not it's good or bad or whatever that she as a woman has deciding to
take her time. That's fine. That's her thing. That's not your thing.
And there are plenty of women out there that are going to meet you
and want to meet you without texting and FaceTiming and doing all these calls
before meeting up with you. And the fact by the way that she called you out and said
that she wants to meet up with someone who and quote she says that you seem to have an interest
in getting to know someone as if you did not have an interest in getting to know her. Are you
kidding? This is mind blowing to me that a woman is going to say that to you as if
you don't have an interest in getting to know someone just because you decided to set a date,
an actual in person date and not sit there and text and chat all day. What else
more do you need? We weren't doing that. This only exists because of technology.
We don't have to play into that game. Just because technology changed that means that you have to
text and talk to people all day? No. This wasn't happening 30 years ago. And don't give me that
"Tripp. No, you're just being an old man. This is not how it works. You got to be up at the times."
No man, I'm telling you women still will meet up with you without texting and talking to you
on the phone before you guys meet up. You know who will meet up with you? Guess which girls,
you ready? The women that are truly high interest in you. Do you want to meet up with the women
who are so on you or the women who are so excited to meet you that they'll wait those six days?
Because those women exist out there. You just have to seek them.