- I SAW YOU AT THE--
AT GUY'S PARTY AFTER THE OSCARS,
AND WE SPOKE FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
AND I WAS CONGRATULATING YOU,
BECAUSE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR COMING OUT,
AND I'M HAPPY FOR YOU.
[cheers and applause]
I KNOW WHAT A SCARY THING THAT IS.
YOUR SPEECH WAS INCREDIBLE.
I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS
THE MOST BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN SPEECH.
- THANKS.
- I WANT TO SHOW--
I WANT TO SHOW A LITTLE TINY BIT OF IT RIGHT NOW.
- HERE I AM, AN ACTRESS
REPRESENTING, AT LEAST IN SOME SENSE, AN INDUSTRY
THAT PLACES CRUSHING STANDARDS ON ALL OF US,
STANDARDS THAT, I HATE TO ADMIT, HAVE AFFECTED ME.
AND I AM HERE TODAY BECAUSE I AM GAY
AND BECAUSE--
[cheers and applause]
- I KNOW HOW SCARY THAT IS.
YOU STILL GET EMOTIONAL?
- YEAH. - YEAH.
I CAN SEE THAT YOU'RE EMOTIONAL JUST WATCHING THAT.
I WAS LIKE THAT FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS
AFTER I CAME OUT.
IT'S A SCARY THING TO VERBALIZE, TO SAY IT OUT LOUD.
HOW NERVOUS WERE YOU?
- UH, THE MOST NERVOUS I'VE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE,
FOR SURE.
I THINK MY BIGGEST FEAR OF DOING IT
WAS EVEN JUST HAVING A PANIC ATTACK, QUITE FRANKLY.
- UH-HUH.
- BUT, YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST SO READY TO DO IT
AND, QUITE FRANKLY, SO EXCITED TO DO IT,
SO IT WAS A COMBINATION OF JUST SUCH THRILL
TO FINALLY BE AT THAT PLACE IN MY LIFE
WHERE I WAS ABLE TO DO THAT
AND GRATEFUL TO HAVE THAT MOMENT
AND GRATEFUL TO YOU, BECAUSE YOU DID IT
IN A TIME WHEN IT WAS MUCH HARDER AND MUCH SCARIER.
SO IT'S--
[applause]
- IT'S, UM--
IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT AT THE TIME,
BUT IT'S A VERY SELFISH THING TO DO.
IT REALLY IS JUST THE MOST--
I MEAN, I CAN SPEAK FOREVER ON IT,
BUT HOW DO YOU FEEL SINCE YOU'VE DONE IT?
- YOU KNOW, I KNEW I WOULD BE A HAPPIER PERSON.
I KNEW THAT I WAS GONNA FEEL BETTER.
AND I DID NOT ANTICIPATE JUST HOW HAPPY I WOULD FEEL.
AND JUST EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE,
JUST AN EASE AND A COMFORT.
AND IT'S--IT'S REALLY BEEN QUITE EXTRAORDINARY
TO FEEL JUST THE SHIFT.
IT WAS PRETTY MUCH OVERNIGHT TOO.
- YEAH, IT IS, BECAUSE YOU'RE RELEASING SHAME.
I MEAN, AND ANYONE-- IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT IS,
WHAT YOU'RE CARRYING AROUND THAT'S YOUR SECRET.
EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING THAT YOU'RE CARRYING AROUND
THAT YOU'RE ASHAMED OF.
AND TO CARRY SHAME AROUND IS A--
FIRST OF ALL, IT CAUSES DISEASE.
IT'S--YOU JUST CAN'T-- IT'S A HORRIBLE THING,
TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.
- YES, IT'S TOXIC, AND I THINK WE TALKED ABOUT THIS A BIT,
WHERE, YOU KNOW, YOU THINK YOU'RE AT A PLACE
WHERE YOU'RE LIKE, "OH, I'M HAPPY TO BE GAY.
"I'M SO COMFORTABLE BEING GAY.
I LOVE BEING GAY."
AND, HONESTLY, IT WASN'T UNTIL MAKING THAT CHOICE
AND DOING THAT WHERE I REALIZED, LIKE, NO,
I WAS CARRYING A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF SHAME
AND GUILT FOR NOT BEING OUT
AND FELT ISOLATED FROM THE LGBT COMMUNITY.
AND NOW I DON'T, SO...
- YEAH, IT'S--YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU SEEM MORE RELAXED,
AND I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT JUST NOT HAVING TO WORRY
ABOUT SOMEBODY CATCHING YOU IN A LIE.
I KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE WHEN YOU'RE ON A SHOW
AND YOU'RE JUST--YOU JUST FEEL LIKE YOU'RE WAITING
FOR SOMEONE TO GO, "YOU'RE GAY!
[laughter]
I KNOW YOU ARE!"
- YEAH, YES, ABSOLUTELY.
IT'S SO NICE TO JUST, YOU KNOW, BE AT WORK
AND TALK ABOUT AN EX OR, YOU KNOW,
GET TO WEAR WHAT YOU WANT
AND NOT HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT
AND TO FEEL LIKE YOU'RE BEING YOURSELF
AND THEN CONNECT WITH PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.
YOU KNOW, IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE PEOPLE COME UP TO ME
AND TELL ME THEIR STORY
OR, YOU KNOW, SAY, "HEY, I'M CLOSETED.
DO YOU HAVE ADVICE?"
AND, YOU KNOW, THOSE ARE REALLY BEAUTIFUL MOMENTS
TO GET TO SHARE WITH PEOPLE.
- YEAH, YEAH, AND TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE ANOTHER FACE
THAT SOMEONE HAS HOPE FOR,
'CAUSE THERE ARE A LOT OF TEENAGERS OUT THERE--
YOU TALK ABOUT IN YOUR SPEECH--
THAT ARE GETTING BULLIED EVERY SINGLE DAY
OR TAKING THEIR OWN LIVES
BECAUSE THEY'RE, YOU KNOW-- THEY CAN'T HANDLE IT.
AND SO IT'S A REALLY COOL THING.