For the first day of the public hearings,
the Democrats chose to call two witnesses--
Bill Taylor, the acting ambassador to Ukraine,
and George Kent, senior State Department official
and townsperson in a 1950s musical.
And before the questioning even started,
both men emphasized in their opening statements
that they aren't Team Republican or Team Democrat.
They're playing on America's side.
It has been a privilege for me to serve our country
and the American people for more than 50 years.
I'm nonpartisan and have been appointed to my positions
by every president, from President Reagan
to President Trump.
I am not here to take one side or the other.
I have served proudly as a nonpartisan,
career foreign service officer for more than 27 years
under five presidents--
three Republican and two Democrat.
I represent the third generation of my family
to have chosen a career in public service.
Indeed, there has been a George Kent sworn
to defend the Constitution continuously
for nearly 60 years.
Ooh!
Three generations of George Kent
have been defending the Constitution.
It almost sounds like the only reason America keeps running
is because of George Kents.
Yes. If America's an office, George Kent is the only guy
who knows how to fix the printer.
"It was the toner cartridge!
It's always the toner cartridge!"
I will say, though, there's gonna be a lot of pressure
on the next George Kent. Yeah.
You know he's gonna be like, "Screw the Constitution, Dad.
"I was born to uphold the law.
"I was born to dance!\ Whoo!"
So, both of these men
are devoted, nonpartisan civil servants.
So if you hear these guys saying
that Trump did some messed-up shit,
you know to take it seriously.
And from the sound of it, Trump did some messed-up shit.
Once I arrived in Kiev, I discovered a weird combination
of encouraging, confusing
and ultimately alarming circumstances.
According to Mr. Morrison, President Trump did insist
that President Zelensky go to a microphone
and say he is opening investigations
of Biden and 2016 election interference.
Ambassador Sondland tried to explain to me
that President Trump is a businessman.
When a businessman is about to sign a check
to someone who owes him something,
the businessman asks that person to pay up
before signing the check.
I think it's crazy to withhold security assistance
for help with a political campaign.
What did you mean when you said you thought it was crazy?
It was illogical. It could not be explained.
It was crazy.
-Hmm. -(laughter)
Unexplainable. Illogical. Crazy.
That's the description Bill Taylor gave of Trump's actions.
It's also the title of Trump's new memoir.
Same thing. Yes.
(like Trump): It's my full story,
and it's a coloring book, folks.
-(laughter) -You're gonna love it!
And Ambassador Taylor's testimony was pretty clear.
He testified that Trump wanted to u...
wanted Ukraine to investigate his political rival Joe Biden.
And the ambassador even came with new evidence
that hadn't been public before.
Last Friday... (clears throat)
a member of my staff told me
of events that occurred on July 26.
In the presence of my staff, at a restaurant,
Ambassador Sondland called President Trump and told him
of his meetings in Kiev.
The member of my staff could hear President Trump
on the phone asking Ambassador Sondland
about the investigations.
The member of my staff asked Ambassador Sondland
what President Trump thought about Ukraine.
Mr. Sondland responded that President Trump cares more
about the investigations of Biden,
which Giuliani was pressing for.
Okay, this is just unbelievable.
Trump's people were discussing their Ukrainian plot in public?
In a restaurant? That's what he's saying.
I mean, first of all, that's rude.
You're in a restaurant-- you put your phone away, all right?
-You engage. -(laughter)
And also, why is Trump talking so loudly on the phone
that people can hear him on the other side?
He reminds me of every immigrant father, ever,
talking on the phone. He's just like,
(loudly): "No, don't worry, Trevor.
"I also had herpes when I was 16, ah?
It's going to go away." You're like, "Shh, Uncle.
I'm with my friends." "Oh, I'm sorry.
Tell your friends to be careful of herpes, ah?"
Now, for the Democrats,
today was all about showing the American people
that Trump abused his office by trying to extort Ukraine.
And in response to the Republican argument
that Trump may have tried to do it but wasn't successful,
Joaquin Castro had a few questions.
So...
Ambassadors...
is attempted murder a crime?
Is attempted murder a crime?
(chuckles): Attempted murder is a crime.
Is attempted robbery a crime?
Neither of us is a lawyer, but I...
I think anybody in this room could answer that question.
I think that's right, and I'll be ...
I'll go out on a limb and say yes, it is.
Is attempted extortion and bribery a crime?
I don't know, sir.
Mm! That's a pretty effective line of questioning.
I mean, it's either that, or Castro's just trying to get
-some free legal advice. -(laughter)
Now, what if I attempted to steal my neighbor's Wi-Fi
but couldn't figure out the password? Is that a crime?
Is that a crime? Yes, I know it's not his dog's name,
because I killed his dog, which brings me to my second question.
Now, the Republicans also had their turn
to question the witnesses about what Trump had done.
But it seemed like they were trying to solve
a completely different case.
Was Hunter Biden a corporate governance expert?
I have no idea.
Do you know if Hunter Biden relocated
-to Ukraine? -No knowledge.
Is he the Jeffrey Sonnenfeld of the Ukraine?
Do you know if he speaks Ukrainian?
Given Hunter Biden's role
in Burisma's board of directors...
Hunter Biden's added to the board of Burisma...
Hunter Biden... Do you know whether Hunter Biden
offers anything other than the fact
that his dad's the former vice president?
And also, does Hunter Biden like flowers,
or do you think I could send him a card?
Is he, like, seeing someone?
Because I totally think we'd make a great couple.
Are you friends with Hunter Biden?
What the hell was this?
Like, here's the thing, man.
If Republicans want to investigate Hunter Biden,
then investigate Hunter Biden,
but that's not what this hearing is about.
Right? You're just making it about something else.
Imagine if the cops showed up at your office to investigate
a robbery and while they're dusting for prints,
you pop up like, "Hey, I know you guys are busy,
but could you also figure out who's been stealing
my yogurt every day?"
Like, "That's not the reason we're here.
"Well, maybe it should be, okay?
That was Ukrainian yogurt."
But Republicans weren't just trying to figure out
Hunter Biden's height, weight and favorite color,
when it was Congressman Jim Jordan's turn
to ask questions, his big argument
was that none of this testimony should count
because it was all a game of telephone.
You weren't on the call, were you? The president--
You didn't listen in on President Trump's call,
-and President Zelensky's call? -I did not.
You've never talked with Chief of Staff Mulvaney?
-I never did. -You never met the president.
-That's correct. -This is what I can't believe
and you're their star witness.
-You're their first witness. -Mr. Jordan...
You're the guy. You're the guy, based on this.
Based on-- I mean, I've seen...
I've seen church prayer chains
that are easier to understand than this.
Mm. That's a good point.
Good point, Jim Jordan.
These guys don't have firsthand knowledge
of what Trump was doing with Ukraine.
So why are they the ones testifying?
I mean, maybe it's because
the White House has blocked all the people
who do have firsthand knowledge from testifying.
That's a good point, Trevor. That's a good point.
Thank you, me.
All of today, Jim Jordan's only focus was making it seem
like this entire process was somehow a sham.
But it all backfired
when he tried to turn the focus to the whistle-blower.
Now, there is one witness, one witness
that they won't bring in front of us,
they won't bring in front of the American people.
And that's the guy who started it all.
The whistle-blower. Nope.
I say to my colleague, I'd be glad to have the person
who started it all come in and testify.
President Trump is welcome to take a seat right there.
(laughter)
-Ho-Ho! -(cheers and applause)
This Congressional hearing
was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
You know, by Congress standards,
that was a pretty good slam. Yeah.
The only way it could have been better
is if the congressman was like,
"Seriously, President Trump is welcome any time.
"In fact, I've actually got his invite right here.
Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh. Meh."
So that was day one of the public impeachment hearings,
and the only way we'll find out more about this saga
is when Congress kicks off day two.
Or we could just sit next to Donald Trump's people
in a restaurant and hear what he shouts over the phone.