*Mark walks up to the fridge*
*I wonder what he's looking for*
*mega spook* Hiiiiiiii
*should've gone 2 specsavers* Would you like to be my friend?!?!
Forever ever and ever and ever and ever? *spooky scary markiploot*
Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier
and welcome to Social Interaction Trainer.
Now much like you, I don't talk to people well.
That's presumptuous of you *I'm sorry father*
I look like a dick now!!
I'm sure you talk to people real good, I'm just projecting my own social ineptitude on you guys
Don't let me override your 'Social Butterfly' nature.
Anyway, so I don't talk to people good as was evident just now (Good grammar.)
but thankfully, I'm in a room by myself not wearing pants! *extremely fabulous kick*
Ow, my groin... *Idiot*
*Sarcastic* Well, this is off to a good start
I can do better than that, hang on. HABOOSKY!
*When you shave your legs and you wanna show everybody*
See, no pants
When I'm eh *markistutter* back up a bit
What I'm trying to say is that I need help!
In talking and living life I need to know how to do these things
I need to know how to social circle! (You need to Social First!)
And I don't do it too good! *I can see that*
So this game is supposedly supposed to help me with that
Use your gaze to socially interact with the cashier
*Confusiplier emerges*
I don't think.. I don't think that's supposed to be helpful
[Game beeping]
*gruntiplier*
[Beeps]
Ughhh? *confusiplier returns*
AYYY
YEAH *Celebrateiplier*
I ORDERED 1 HAM *Well done*
THANKS FOR THE HAM
What the fuck did I just do?
Urinal?
Politely use the public urinal alongside a urinating neighbor.
Maintaining eye contact is dissuaded in this situation.
La la la la la la la NICE DICK la la la la la
"Do not allow your gaze to wander off from your task."
*Sudden realization* OHHHHH
I should be looking where I am peeing!
Heh... heh.
HERDERDERER
Uh-Oh
Keep glances at other's genitals to a minumum
*Sarcastic* There a tolerable amount of genital glancing, but not a lot
Okat, alright. ♫Starin' down at my junk lookin at me self Go to the pee-er
That's not the words your supposed to say when your takin' a leak~
But I don't♫*Mark's lovely singing gets interrupted by Satan's urinal flush*
Okay....
That was the scariest flushing sound I have ever heard in my life.
WELL.
I'm off to a good start! :D
Let's go transport, whatever the hell that means...
I'm guessing I need to - uh
Get relatively "warmed up" before I get into any-- like, deeper elements of conversation here.
Strike up a conversation with your transport partner.
HIII *Creepiplier*
YOU LOOK PRETTY
Uh-oh, uh sorry
*Chuckles nervously like a prepubesent little boy*
She was creeped out by your attempt at social interaction.
WELL WHAT ELSE IS NEW???
I'LL JUST GO BURY MY HEAD IN THE SAND--
TAKE MY PANTS OFF AND KEEP YELLING AT THE INTERNET--
SOMEDAY THAT WILL MAKE ME FRIENDS!
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA *what has become of our lovely social butterfly*
IIIIII'M BACK NOW--
Alright, so what do I do?
Alright.
*Markiplier begins to derp*
Hey-- Is that a pretty lady over...
THERE????
Okay. :>
NICE BOOK -okie-
NICE BOOBS -o...kie-
YOUR HANDS ARE NICE -okie- *hand fetish*
I LIKE THE WAY YOUR EARS LOOK, -okie-
I LIKE THE TUFT OF HAIR ON YOUR HEAD -ookay-
WELP :V
buh
UGHHHHH
Ooh Nice book :)
I'm just looking at your book *sure you are*
Your 'book' is so interesting :D
*Girl starts talking*
*Mark gasps*
BABA DOBBA BA BA *more gibberish*
IT'S A BOOK
YEA-- Ah.
You gained a romantic interest
Hell ya! If it was THAT easy-- I would've have done it a long time ago!
HEYY
We're getting coffee?
Ooooh!
Ooh boobs... Oh my god boobs, oh my god stare at boobs
Oh my god, boobs!
Ahh look at the boobs! *We see them, Mark*
It's impolite to stare at a person's breasts.
I don't know about that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Alright, make good impressions on the first date
*imitates beeping* BA BA BA BA BA BA
*imitates other beeps* WAH WAH WAH WAH
You were too intense.
What do you mean I was 'too intense' ?!
*imitates more beeping* WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH
O-Oh yeah--
Can I stop?
Can I stop??
You looked at the cleavage too many times.
What??
I didn't look at the cleavage at all! *sure you didn't*
I was looking at the painting on the wall and the dog on the floor! *uh-huh.*
He talks, looks up
Talks
Looks up
Talks
and looks at boobs ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
huh huh huh okay.
Everything good?
alright, anyway, uh-oh
whup :>
AHHHHH
*weird Mark noises*
*sighs*
Look deep inside yourself for the answers you seek
Oooohhhh!
Ohh I have to act like a goof *Like you do normally?*
Yeah I was wondering what was going on
Okay.
hueh
herp
Yeah, you gonna laugh?
Ayyyeeeheheheeey!
That was a good date, you glanced at the cleavage 1 time
I don't even remember doing that *Suuuuure Mark.*
Oh this is going wonderfully
I am doing good at the social interactions and being able to talk to people and girls and stuff--
Let's go to the park!
Enjoy the more comfortable second date!
Well I dunno about that.
It's probably just gonna be as uncomfortable.
Yes.
I know.
Heyyy!
Imma stare you down, bubba.
Hey x6
HEYYY.
You acted too strongly, the situation escalated
Wha-- What happened?! I coulda beat him up!
I--
I substituted all my social interaction skills with physical violence! (Then show us!)
*Mark makes Marks noises*
Awwww, avoiding the situation doesn't help.
Wu-What would I do?!
I wonder if all of life's problems are solved by crossing my eyes.
What?
Oh, what? Heyy!
"I defused the situation with humor!"
ALL of life's problems are crossed by your eyes!
...Da'fuq did I say?
Alllll right, we can go romance!
Purch-- Ooohhh. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
*Mark Laughs Manically*
*Maniacal laughter ensues* (get yourself together Mark)
This isn't something that I should
be cackling maniacally to,
but I just feel the sudden urge to.
*Please* Don't mumble under your breath.
Uh, Can I defuse it with humor?
*Mark can't. He Cri.*
Okay, I can... hudur
Bwap Bwap, okay... Purchase
Condoms
You're making the cashier uncomfortable with your staring (No shit)
There's no way to win this :/
Bap bap :V
Con...
do doms doms doms doms
Hey, I brought them!
Good for me!
Oh...
Uhhh... *Markicringe*
Uh... I don't know if I was prepared for this one!
Okay alright, doing the awkward dance right outa' here!
Goodbye everybody, okay seeya next time, alright!
Boobs.
Look at those boobs ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
This is weird *I can see that*
What the fuck is happening? *No idea.*
I don't know.
Oh god, she's bored!
[weird beep noise]
*Deathly Silence*
Yeaahh!
I guess?
Oh, boy!
I was looking at the boobs I guess...
Oh yea~ oh my god~!
*Markual noises intensify*
Alrighty then!
You're really
"Your partner found your love making to be romantic. You really know what you're doing!"
Well hey, I've had exactly 1 previous opportunity of practice!
And that is good enough for me to become a master at anything *Life advice with Mark!*
(Mumbles) [So good on me,] I've played a lot of Huniepop so I know what the EXACTLY what the ladies
*Sexy tone* They want color matching puzzles~
Convince the interviewer to hire you.
I don't 'nu--
Woah-
This-
Uhh-
*Random Mark noises*
*Moans*
Hey-
Well-
Oh god...
Are you as--
--awkward as--
--as I am? *Impossible*
Aw jeez-- Oh.
Do I have--
Ooh ohh--
Oooh--
Ahh
Heeyyyy!
Oh.
"The interviewer was put off by your cucumber-nosed face. You wont be getting hired."
I dunno what I did wrong!
Eh?
Ah?
*harmonically* YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH
HOOOOOOO!! (Mark, Stop branding!)
I got hired for a menial laboured job and I'm super gonna be happy about that for ever and ever and ever--
ANYWAY
I'm glad I have "Funeral" and "Baby" to look forward to
The first one AFTER the second one-- Which is great.
Don't embarrass yourself while meeting her parents
Well...
*RIP Headphone users*
I BANGED YOUR DAUGHTER
Sorry. *Very sincere*
It was the dog
"Comparing the breasts of your girlfriend and mother should be kept to a minimum"
I didn't do ANY of THAT!
{Game beeping}
YEEEAAAAA--
HOOO~
Make good impressions with her Father
Okay.
Hey dude.
Nice--
I--
I did not do that.
Wait-- or MAYBE I DID DO THAT--
*game character does a Marki-fart*
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
YEEEAAAHHH
*manly voice* We're men AND WE LIKE TAH
FFFAARRRTTT
*kinda slurry* That's us~ That's good-- Oh.
[Beeping]
Can I still fart?
[Beeping]
Heeyyy~ YEAHHH!
Aww~ I endeared myself to her mother.
*Cute little chuckle*
I better not--
--fuck this one up.
Okay.
Congratulations. You've been warmly welcomed into the family after glancing at the dog a reassuring 29 times!
HOLY SHIT-- I went to that dog a LOT.
Alright-- "Work".
Peform-- Oh my goood~ *gibberish*
*Slurring* Look at those boobs
HURRPPP--
OH HO MAI GAD--
Indee-- HIHIHIHIHIHI
*Weird Mark noises*
*Noises continue*
BAH DA LA DA LA
BAH-DLE
BAH...BAH...BAH....BAH BAH
yyyeeEEEEEAAHHH
Kay, "Become friendly, make 'em laugh"
*weird mark noises*
*mockingly* Look at me, imma laugher, herpaderr
BWAP x12
It's my one skill, I've got it and I got nothing else!
[Game beeping]
YAAAAY
Make 'em laugh again
[Women beeping] Uh...oh...maybe this
yeeeeeah, thats it
awwwwww (mark pls)
Not lookin, not lookin! That is o-oooHHH MY GOD THOSE BOOBS
hyeeeEEEHEHEHEHE
I've gained a friend through Sexual Harassment™!
Now thats ge- oh, no.
with more- one more funny?
wai- OH I've gotta make him stare at her boobs
YEEAH
OH MAH GAWD lookit those boooobs
LOOKIT DOSE BOOBS ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
How bout'ta little bit of that?
How bout that? Yeeeah you like that dontcha?
i'm doing somethin
somethin' goin on
[Various game beeps and wops]
[BWOP]
Woah...
wwwuuut?
[Guilty Mark face]
I have no idea what I did I was tryin to get him to lookit her boobs
I was tryin to make the eye thing- I dun know what I did there...
But I WON- and that explains why I needa go to a funeral...
Alrighty then..
"Pay your respects"
*Press F to pay respects*
I dunno if i should...
EHEHEHE, UR DEAD, AHAAHahh-iiiim still bein funny.
UUUUUGH This guy was a dick but we hafta say goodby-
OOOoohh my god..
ohmegeh
ooohoh god..
Eh....well thats no good..
IIIIII doooont know how 'ta pay our respects...
OOOH "It's impolite to imitate the disability of your dead boss at his funeral"
ooohkay then.
wut?
wu-uHHOOH GOD HE'S LOOKING AT ME
OH NO, well that 'aint right...
oh, "A good person"
oh, hi, um,
iiidunnowhathah
*unintelligible noises*
oohhwHA WHY IS HE LOOKING?!?
How is he looking?!?
This isnt "My Social Interaction" anymore!
hhooooookaaaay
hwop- up- oohhhhhh there they go then!
ooookay, alrightie then I guess we're done there
ohh what the fuCK
OKAAAAAYYY WHYYYYYYY???
whatthefuq happened??
uuUUUUEEEEHHH??
WHAT DID I DoooOOOOOoo?
okay?
OOOOOOHH.
AAAAALLLL RIIIIIIGHT THEEEEENN
Hello, what do I do for you?
wu- what am I doing
wHY ARE MY EYES BEING ALL KER-FUKLED
okay..
could the eyes...?
oke- ah- alright
okaaaay
okaaaay?
maybe?
wwwWWWHYYYY?
WHYY? There's no CLUES there!!
[Dong]
ConsooOOOoole?
What if I fail this?!?
[Dooong]
oohkay- If I fail this, I- i'm freakin outta here
[Dooong ᘳ ͡°ᴥ ͡°ᘰ]
Okay, yes- maybe- yeah?
"Congratulations, you didn't make the funeral worse"
YAY! I did it!
SOMEHOW- If you ask me HOW,
I wouldn't know!
But it has something to do with rrrrandom eye positions! *waves hands magically*
Just like life!
Everythings random, and what ya do doesn't matter! (harsh)
'cause the outcome is:
ya 'gonna live and then ya 'gonna die! (harsh x2)
heyHEHEh
Hopefully in the middle you have sex somewhere..
Let's have a BEY-BEH.
"Purchase diapers"-
[Mark noises]
AH GAHD
AHHH- fuck.
"Its impolite to fall asleep"- alright hang on,
[Mark noise]
welp, that did it quick
You're sus-susposed to make- quick circles, I think...
Hurry up, lady!
Oh, we're not gettin any-
yeEEEAAAH! Alright!
"Be a father"?
I dunno how..
[Voice crack] Boo-doo-do-do doo!
Boo-bo-doo-bahma-bhama-byeah-
-imma daddy! [ಠ ͟ل͜ಠ]
Lookit me~
Imma funny daddy, lohhket me~
Lookit daddy~ (here come the fangirls)
aw-
yaawww-hw-hw-hw-hw itzza baby!
"Nothing prepares you to be a parent. Your child will grow up to be an ass."
well-
OOOH OHKAY
What is that, the moral of the story here?!?
Whuh- There was nothing I could do there??
yeeeah~~
[angry sigh]
I think that's the end of it
Well shhiet!
Well there you go! It ends there,
So i'm assuming that's what it is.
So that! Was Social Interaction Trainer
Now I know that I can go out into public life--
-and become the social butterfly-
[Slurred] THAT I WAS ALWAYS DESTINED TO BE!!
#1- I'm gonna stare at peoples boobs,
ALOT
Until they LOVE me!
I'm gonna raise my babies to be DICKS
AND THEN:
Make fun of my dead boss at his own funeral-
-as his eyes go wishy washy in every freakin' direction.
So, hope you guys learned something here (Daddy Mark is real)
Cause I sure didnt.
But either way thank you everybody so much for watching,
Go out into the world and feel confident and free in whatever you wanna do!
So thanks, so much for watching.
And as always, I will see you, in the next video.
BUY-BYE!
[Outro music]