Hey everyone, and welcome to TopThink. Today, we are going to learn about 10 signs you have
separation anxiety. Now, let’s begin.
1. Persistent Fear The world is a dangerous
place. Bad things happen to good people every day. You may worry that something, or someone, is going
to take away the good people in your life. Worrying is natural. Everyone worries about
their loved ones. But your fears shouldn’t impair your life or control your choices.
People struggling with separation anxiety are unable to leave the people they love.
You may be afraid something terrible is going to happen when you’re not around.
Your loved ones may reassure you. They might say, “it’s okay, nothing bad is going to
happen.” But you can’t shake the feeling that something negative is right around the corner.
This is the defining signal of adult separation anxiety. You struggle to leave your loved ones,
because you’re afraid of what might happen in your absence. No matter how much you try
to reason with or ignore your fears, you can’t shake this terrible feeling.
Unfortunately, persistent anxiety can have a huge impact on your lifestyle. If you listen
to your fears, you may never leave your home or your family. You may cling to the people you love
because you want to protect them. But your good intentions can bring your life to a stand-still.
So, think about the way you feel when you’re separated from your loved ones. If you’re
constantly afraid of what might happen, you may be struggling with adult separation anxiety.
2. Familial Distance Lifestyle changes are
often associated with intense, psychological stressors. Let’s say your partner recently
departed on a long business trip. They’re going to be traveling abroad for several months.
Naturally, you’re feeling scared and anxious. You can’t stop worrying about their health or safety,
and your fear is beginning to impair your everyday life.
All kinds of lifestyle change can trigger bouts of separation anxiety. Maybe your best
friend recently moved to a different city. Maybe your sibling took a job hundreds of miles away.
For whatever reason, you feel a sense of distance from someone in your life.
And you’re afraid of what might happen.
3. Sleeping Alone Do you have trouble sleeping
alone? This is a lesser known but important symptom of separation anxiety. Most nights,
you sleep near someone you love, but what happens when you sleep somewhere far away from home?
If you have separation anxiety, this experience can be paralyzing. You may lay awake at night,
alone in your bed, worrying about your home or your family. Persistent anxiety can
significantly impair your sleep cycle, creating stress, fatigue, and a lack of concentration.
It’s normal to think about your loved ones when you’re away, but those thoughts shouldn’t impact
your well-being. For example, people with separation anxiety often panic about someone
breaking into their home when you’re on vacation. Every time they sleep away from home, they worry
an intruder is going to invade their space, steal their belongings, or hurt someone they love.
If this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing symptoms of adult separation anxiety.
4. Social Isolation How often do you meet new people?
Adult separation anxiety can significantly impair social functioning. For example,
people who are afraid to leave their homes or families rarely engage with their social circles.
Let’s say an old friend invites you to dinner. If you say yes, you can enjoy a lively atmosphere
and catch up with an old friend; but you’re too afraid to leave your loved ones alone. Instead of
enjoying a fun, social occasion, you retreat into your safe space and pacify your fears.
Unfortunately, separation anxiety has a ripple effect across your social life.
If you’re afraid to leave your loved ones, you may struggle to maintain friendships or make new ones.
You may lose touch with your social world and forget how to interact with other people.
In other words, your fear may be destroying your social life…
and it feels like there’s nothing you can do. If your social life has been steadily declining,
think about why you struggle to engage with other people. If you’re worried about what
might happen, you may be one of many people struggling with adult separation anxiety.
5. Professional Derailment Separation
anxiety can impact your social life, but it can also affect your professional ambitions.
It may steal your attention away from your work. You may have trouble concentrating on
your responsibilities, because you’re always worrying about the people in your life.
If you have severe separation anxiety, you may be afraid of going to work.
You may be using up vacation days or calling sick, because you’re anxious about leaving
your home, your family, or your partner. Ultimately, your separation anxiety is
causing tension in your work life, and that tension creates even more stress.
Between your anxiety and your stress, you may feel overburdened and beat down. You may lack the
energy to work or achieve because of the emotional weight bearing down on your shoulders. Emotional
stress worsens other psychological disorders, including depression and generalized anxiety,
making it even more difficult to function. Over time, an excess of stress and anxiety
has real consequences on your quality of life. If you’re unable to perform at work, you may struggle
to keep your job. If you’re unmotivated to succeed, you may give up on your goals, passions,
or hobbies. Unfortunately, separation anxiety can have a cascading effect on your personal and
professional life, so it’s important to recognize and care for your symptoms early. That way, you
can develop tools to cope with your anxiety… and stop your stressors from controlling your life.
6. Fearing Change Do you struggle to enact changes in your own
life? People with separation anxiety experience intense fear surrounding major lifestyle shifts.
Going to college, moving to a new city, or getting married can all trigger bouts of extreme anxiety.
In other words, you may be resistant to change, and you may avoid change at all costs.
Sometimes, that means turning down great professional opportunities because you’re
afraid of changing your lifestyle. Other times, you may cling to bad relationships
because any change, even good change, overwhelms your mind with stress and worry.
If you are frequently averse to change, look deeper and figure out why you’re afraid to
move your life forward. If that fear surrounds the people you love, you may be struggling with
this common anxiety disorder. 7. Physical Manifestations
So far, we’ve talked about social and psychological signs of adult separation anxiety.
But this anxiety disorder can also manifest as physical symptoms.
Individuals who struggle with separation anxiety may experience unexplained and
situational sicknesses. When you’re filled with excess anxiety, your body may manifest your
psychological stress as physical ailments, like headaches, sore throats, and bouts of nausea.
You may worry you’ve caught a cold, but these ailments are often psychological.
For example, you may feel sick every time you part from your friends or family. You’re
worried about their health or safety, so your brain is overwhelmed by fear.
That fear creates stress for your body and brain. But it’s important to remember that everyone
experiences anxiety differently. This common disorder manifests in dozens of different ways,
so try recognizing patterns in your moods, feelings, and physical ailments.
That way, you can find the root of your problem… and discover coping mechanisms that work for you.
8. Financial Distress Are you struggling to pay
your monthly bills? Financial distress is often associated with separation anxiety.
Not everyone who’s running low on cash experiences an anxiety disorder, but financial distress can
trigger bouts of anxiety related to your home, your lifestyle, and your family.
For example, you may worry you don’t have enough money to support the people in your life.
You may be afraid of a disaster that you can’t afford. This constant fear
stimulates excess anxiety related to the health and safety of your loved ones.
Financial distress is not a symptom of separation anxiety,
but it is a common correlate. People who are financially unstable are more likely
to worry about the safety of their loved ones in case of an emergency. The more you worry,
the worse your anxiety becomes; and the more likely you are to resist change.
9. Stressful Anticipation Some people experience fear when
they know change is on the horizon. Imagine you’re going on a business trip that will
take you out of town overnight. How do you feel in the days leading up to your trip?
If you have separation anxiety, trips and vacations may be traumatic experiences.
It’s difficult to leave your loved ones, but it’s equally difficult to anticipate
leaving your loved ones. Adults struggling with separation
anxiety are rarely excited to get away from their lives. Instead, thinking about a trip or vacation
motivates psychological distress. You may be overwhelmed by negative, recurrent thoughts.
You may consider canceling your trip, just so you can stay close to your loved ones. Even though
nothing has changed yet, anticipating change motivates fear, distress, and extreme anxiety.
10. Closed Communication Many people with anxiety disorders experience
shame surrounding their anxiety. You know your fears are exaggerated or irrational. You know
you shouldn’t have negative thoughts, but you can’t control the ideas that pop into your head.
So, you hesitate to express yourself to the people in your life.
However, communication is essential to cope with separation anxiety. If you’re afraid of what
may happen in your absence, you should openly express your fears to the people in your life.
That way, your loved ones can find ways to ease your mind and support your growth.
For example, if you’re going out of town, you and your loved ones can create an open line
of communication to check in and pacify your fears. These kinds of cooperative
strategies can decrease your stress and you’re your anxiety. But more importantly,
they provide a steady support system, so that you can move your life in the right direction.
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