In this video, we're going to be discussing the one question you should be asking yourself while
you're interacting with your ex, and why you want to be asking yourself this one question, even
in the first place to begin with. But first, my name is Clay with modernlove.life, where we help
you get the great loving relationship that you're looking for without having to play mind games,
without having to play hard to get, and without having to pretend to be someone or something
that you are not. And if you agree with me, please help me spread this video across the
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All right. So we are going to be talking about connecting with your ex emotionally.
And if you want some help with that, we do have our course called the ex solution program. It
helps you to form an emotional connection with your ex by navigating through their
emotional world, through what we call advanced relational skills. You can find information on
the ex solution program right down below. If it seems like a good fit for you, feel free to sign
up. If it's not the right thing for you, that's totally okay too. But with all that being said,
let's go ahead and get into this video. I've worked with a lot of people over the years.
And one common thing that I've seen in many situations, most situations is that a lot
of people get stuck in this pattern or habit of over analyzing what their ex is saying or doing,
or what their ex's behavior is, or what their ex's online activity is,
trying to figure out if they're moving closer or further towards them emotionally,
if they're moving closer or further towards committing to them, or whether they're moving
closer or further towards them in any other way. And this of course can be a mentally
and emotionally exhausting process. You find yourself constantly entertaining,
endless what if scenarios, and thinking about what if this doesn't work out? Then what am I going to
do? What's my plan B, if this plan A doesn't work out? What's my plan C if my plan B doesn't work
out? And all of this sort of stuff. And that's not the right mindset to have as you're going
through all of this. And you can really avoid a lot of this as well, too if you just start
thinking about things a little bit differently. I've said on many, many, many, many, many,
many videos on this channel that the most important thing that you can focus on
when you are looking at your connection between you and your ex is the emotional connection that
the two of you share. If that emotional connection is growing stronger and if it's leading to more
authenticity and connection and vulnerability between the two of you, then that is really all
you need to use as your guide as you're moving forward through interacting with them. When that
happens, you can just drop everything else. And I literally mean everything else. You can drop
the rebound relationship. You don't have to pay attention to it. You can drop the Facebook
status update. You can drop how long it's been since they replied to the text message. You can
drop all of this other stuff and just focus in on what's actually important, which is the quality
of the emotional connection that you're having. And so the question that you should be asking
yourself as you're interacting with your ex is, is the quality of our emotional connection
increases or decreasing? Now what do I mean by the quality of the emotional connection?
Basically when you're interacting with them, you're inviting them to actually have
a meaningful discussion with you, right? I mean, you're not just contacting them and texting them
and talking to them because you want to talk about some TV show, or because you want to talk about
something that happened on the news, or you want to talk about sports or anything else. You don't
care about that stuff. It's just a vehicle to get you to the emotional connection. It's a vehicle
to find out if they care to find out if they want to actually get closer to you or further
away from you. And so we can just skip all of that stuff and just look at are we actually showing up
in a transparent, emotional way that's going to facilitate a better quality connection or not.
Now, obviously if you're not showing up because you're stuck in your comfort zone,
you want to play it safe and you just want to talk about the weather and sports and stuff like that,
that's obviously not going to inspire them to want to step forward either. And so you're going to
have to say, okay, am I bringing myself to the interaction in a way that's going to increase
the quality of emotional connection? If I am great, cool. Now, how are they responding? Are
they stepping forward into that? Are they stepping forward and connecting with me emotionally? If so,
excellent. We can drop everything else. If not, then we need to start saying, okay, well,
what's going on here? Could I be inviting them in a better sort of way?
Could I be more transparent about what's going on and just say,
hey, I think you might be worried that maybe I have an ulterior agenda and interacting with
you. The truth is, I know we have our past, and I don't want to force anything that's not there,
so let's just be friends for now, and let's just talk, let's just hang out, let's just connect.
Is that something you're cool with? And that can kind of give them a little bit more permission to
step forward, a little bit more permission to engage with you in an emotional conversation.
And these emotional connections, these emotional conversations, aren't always going to be happy,
great laughing kind of conversations. They can be for sure, but they can sometimes be
intense conversations where you're talking about, hey, you know that one time when you
said this and do the opposite, I never said anything about it, but it really upset me.
And I think as a result of that, I kind of started to close down emotionally through the last half of
our relationship, or whatever the case might be. But that's obviously not a fun, happy
conversation, but it's an honest conversation. And it's creating more of that capacity for the two of
you to actually have a meaningful connection. If the two of you are ever going to have a
great relationship, it's going to be because the two of you have a meaningful connection.
It's not going to be because you flirted, it's not going to be because they responded
to your text message within 15 minutes. It's not going to be because of any of these other silly
things that people seem to focus on. So focus on what actually matters,
focus on the quality of the emotional connection and ask yourself, what is the quality of the
emotional connection that we're having, and is it getting better or worse? Is it bringing us
closer towards more authenticity and transparency and vulnerability, or further away from that?
And how can I keep this momentum moving forward? Or if I don't have momentum,
what can I do to start building that up? And if that is something that you do want some
help with, this is of course is the main focus of our course called the ex solution program.
Once again, if you do want to find more info on that, it's right down below. But once again, thank
you so much for watching this video. If you did find this video helpful, please hit that thumbs
up button, please also subscribe to the channel as well, too, for the YouTube algorithm, of course.
It's not because I'm some narcissists that likes seeing lots of thumbs ups,
it's because it does help us get a lift out of the YouTube algorithm. So please go ahead and do that
if you do find value in these videos. And if you do want to learn more about
your ex's emotional world, we do have this video series over here on what we call the five stages
your ex goes through in getting back together with you. It's really helpful for a lot of people,
it might be helpful for you to. Or you might want to check out this video over here. Once again,
thank you so much. Please take care, and I'll talk to you next time.