-Guys, before we start, just a reminder,
this is like a meeting between Trump and his lawyer.
It is all being recorded. So, just so you know.
[ Light laughter ]
That's right. Did you guys hear about this?
Last night, CNN released a recording
of Trump and his lawyer talking about using hush money
to cover up his affair with Playboy model Karen McDougal.
[ Audience oohs ]
In response, Trump was like,
"Oh, no, Stormy Daniels might find out I cheated on her.
Oh, no. What I'm gonna do?"
[ Applause ]
That's right. The tape is from 2016.
And you can hear Trump talking about
paying off a Playboy model.
Yeah, it was the first time ever
that Trump didn't want to hear himself talk.
He's like, "Turn that off. Turn it off."
[ Laughter and applause ]
It's a big story, and CNN was the first to release the tape.
When he heard, Trump was like,
"Seriously, CNN, what have I ever done to you guys?
I mean -- [ Laughter ]
I thought we --"
Right before the Cohen tape was released,
Trump warned people not to believe what they see or hear.
[ Light laughter ]
Americans were like, "Trust us.
We haven't believed anything we've seen or heard
since election day.
So we're good with that.
You don't have to tell us."
[ Cheers and applause ]
But on the tape, Trump and his lawyer Michael Cohen
discussed some pretty serious issues,
though at one point,
Trump seemed to have a little trouble focusing.
Listen to this.
[ Laughter ]
Focus, man!
-Come on.
-You know Melania was in the next room
shaking up a can of Coke, going, "Just a second, honey.
Yeah, absolutely.
Oh, yeah, I'm going to get you a Coke, all right."
It turns out that actually isn't the only tape that exists.
And I'm being told that CNN just released another one.
-Really? -Let's take a listen.
Sunny D.
He wants Sunny D.
-Sunny D.
-Hang on. I'm now hearing that there's actually one more tape.
-Really? -Let's listen to this one.
Macaulay, that's not even close.
That's not even close to what her name is.
-Wow! Glad we got those tapes.
-Some more political news.
I read that Vladimir Putin is not accepting Trump's invitation
to visit the White House in the fall.
Putin was like, "Why do I need invitation to my own home?"
And you go, "Wait, wait."
[ Applause ]
Be careful.
Hey, I saw that this fall,
Hillary Clinton is going to guest-star
on an episode of "Madam Secretary."
If she becomes a big enough TV star,
she might have a chance of becoming president.
-Really? -Yeah.
[ Applause ]
That's right. That's right.
Hillary Clinton will be appearing on "Madam Secretary."
And apparently she started a trend,
'cause now a lot of politicians
are planning to make cameos on TV shows.
I'll show you what I mean.
For instance, Jeff Sessions is going to make an appearance
on "Young Sheldon"
as Old Young Sheldon.
[ Applause ]
Next up, Paul Ryan will be on an episode of "Riverdale"
as the kid who's way too old to go to their school.
[ Applause ]
And finally, Mitch McConnell is doing a cameo on "Franklin"
as Franklin's twin brother.
[ Applause ]
They're all doing cameos. Very interesting.
Oh, I read that New Jersey
is suspending many of its cases related to marijuana,
and people think it means soon it will be legal.
[ Cheering ]
That might explain this welcome sign.
[ Laughter and applause ]
"No, forget --" "I did forget about it."
"Forget about what?"
And finally, this is very interesting.
Yelp is going to start showing what restaurants scored
on their health inspections.
So if you want to know how your favorite restaurant did,
trust me, no, you don't.
We have a great show tonight.
Give it up for the Roots.