[Applause]
ladies and gentlemen if you ever have a
chance to look at a beehive you'll
realize there are three things number
one there are the drones the drones task
in life is very simple all they have to
do is have sexual intercourse with the
queen bee and once they are done
depositing the sperm their penis get
ripped off and did I the next thing you
have the workers the workers task is to
basically work they all women and they
are involved in the process of getting
honey cross pollination and etc and they
live from four to six weeks the third
thing you have the queen bee a symbol of
leadership and a symbol of elegance you
see the thing with these bees right
there life is so well defined if only in
our lives we knew what was our purpose
if only in our lives we knew at what
time what are we supposed to do but
here's the thing it's just not that
simple so you see I don't have any fancy
slides and I don't have any remarkable
achievements to brag about but what I do
have is a story that is very close to my
heart
because it's simply my story I define
myself with three things number one I
think I am a neurotypical only child how
many of you here have heard stereotypes
about only children they are lazy they
are pampered the parents give them
everything they want yeah anyone have
you heard anything like that yeah you
take all those opinion you put it in a
jar
you get me because I think that's what I
am body and the second thing is I think
I am a typical Torian it's the 21st
century but I do believe in horoscopes
so I do get offended if my friends ask
me what's my horoscope because I think I
am body tourists that well the territory
ins right we have very hot-headed we can
be stubborn and at times we can be very
result-oriented that we forget the
simplest things in life that brings joy
and the third thing is I always see
myself as a game changer how many of you
here play board games right for you
board games people you can play a game
with me but the difference is I don't
play to build friendship I play board
games to destroy friendship to me I come
from that background where the aspect of
winning is so important that if I have
to choose between victory and friendship
I used to go after victory and when I
think about what brought all of this in
me right it goes back to how I was in
high school see being the only child you
have a lot of stress on you already and
I feel really bad for my parents number
one they prayed for like 10 years to get
a child and they got me so if I go wrong
all the 33 million God's will be blamed
and the second thing is I always instill
some pressure in me that it's my job to
be the best version of how I can be so
when I was in high school the problem
with me was English was not my first
language I was an awkward child so
awkward that my class teacher told my
dad that your son has great potential to
be an international criminal because no
one knows what he does no one even knows
he exists but he is somewhere there and
when I reflected my parents were not
rich but they were always
with values you see my parents I used to
have this thing with my parents we
always said that oh I don't think you're
doing enough to raise a child but only
the later parts of my life I realized
that sometimes someone something is all
the things that they have sometimes what
you view as a small thing is everything
that they can give so when I went into
secondary school like I said I was an
awkward child I can't speak English and
every time I try speaking I creep people
out so I realized that you know what I'm
gonna become a writer and I'm just gonna
write to save my life because when you
write nobody needs to know how you speak
and you can just write your life away
which is how I ended up in Nottingham
doing an English degree you see someone
who couldn't speak English doing an
English degree was quite funny and at
that time I remember my parents my
teachers everyone was like are you sure
you want to do this and I was like at
this point I don't know what he's sure
and let me just go on with it so when I
came into university that's where I
think life-changing moments happen and
there were three key change moments that
changed my life for who I was
number one see I was competitive when I
came into university I was a scholar and
my mind said was I have to be
competitive and at this when I can't
compete with anyone else
I compete with myself and that was also
time consuming and energy consuming and
when I was competitive
I noticed that sometimes in the end of
the day what's the point of having so
many achievements when you are just
going to be celebrating it on your own
like yesterday was Valentine's Day right
I don't know how many of you here single
and I am pretty sure there were a lot of
empowering quotes about oh if you're
single it's all right you only need you
to survive ladies and gentlemen that is
sometimes quite rubbish right though we
can advocate for independence we can
advocate for you are all you need you
know be the change you wanna see in the
world but what is that change that
Mahatma Gandhi did not say that part he
only told you to be the change you wish
to see but how do you be the change
nobody is going to tell you so when I
noticed this I started taking things in
a light where I realized that I should
be more sensitive because I knew one day
that I will be successful and I don't
want to die alone and the thought of
having pets was scary so even though
when people said it's okay you can get
pets and die alone I'm like no they are
more annoying than human beings so it's
alright so that was the first sort of
change that I wanted to do where I
wanted to start being more rational I
wanted to be more sensitive and for once
I wanted to stop competing because you
can compete with all you won and you can
be the president you can be whatever you
want to be but at that late night when
you hit the sack if you have that inch
of loneliness like what I used to have I
noticed that that wasn't worth it and I
wanted to make that change now the
second thing is just as being
competitive
I was always fast in anything that I
wanted to do
I drove fast I was someone who had no
patience and everyone who was working
under me feared me and at one point I
thought that's pretty cool okay you fear
me and off he'd lower school guys so at
that one point when I noticed that maybe
being fast is all I could do right there
was one day where I was on the highway
and like I said I like to be fast and
good enough an accident happened and I
didn't die so I wouldn't be here I
survived but my car didn't it was a new
car and my car didn't survive that but
you know what I realized from this
accident the first thing that came to my
mind was oh I'm alive and the second
thing was now because of this accident I
value life more but ladies and gentlemen
how many accidents do you want to go
through to come to that conclusion that
you should value life more every time
when you make a mistake you can be like
or at least now I know how to do this
but how many mistakes you think you can
afford in this life to be there and be
like you know what I can make this
change oh now I know how to do this or
now I know this is good but I realized
that in that accident when I saw how
everyone was terrified I was still cool
cause I was like okay insurance
everything is good no one is dead but it
dawned on me that that one split second
could have changed your life forever and
you owe your life to the people around
you
and sometimes you do have a role to play
in everyone else's life and that's when
I realized that you know maybe being
fast it's not the best thing it's okay
to slow down when I look at my juniors
in university now I always tell them
don't grow up too quickly
never chase after those titles and
sometimes if you can sleep instead of
working you sleep because there will
come a time where you cannot afford
sleep and you're gonna regret it and
that is something that I wish people
told me that what is so important in you
trying to be the best version if you're
going to jeopardize yourself in that
process mental health is one thing but
in the end of the day if you are just
going to be the best version of yourself
and in the process of it you lose
friends you lose sleep trust me when
you're on your deathbed your
accomplishments is not going to be
helping you you're going to be
reflecting about all those times when
your friends were busy partying and you
chose to take up a position and suffer
you could have gone partying but don't
take my words seriously and go partying
that's not what I mean but what I mean
is that sometimes it's perfectly fine to
not be in the lead
sometimes it's perfectly fine to not be
that overachiever
sometimes it's perfectly fine to be that
mediocre person who enjoys life because
trust me sucks
two people have bigger problems than you
and you don't want to be there and
that's nothing that I learned about
change that it is so scary because you
are going to surrender a sense of
security of yours and you have no idea
what life is gonna give you in return
now the third thing is when I was
finishing university I went to this
University leadership development
program see this program is like shock
ocean there were around four thousand
applicants and out of the four thousand
applicants they pick 80 people so
imagine if in a group of friends you're
always on top of the leak
now if they pick all those people on top
of their own leaks and they put them
together it's chaotic everyone was there
to win everyone was very competitive and
me being me again I was like okay I'm
gonna have a lot of good competition if
you're gonna be fierce I will give her
good fierce run and that's when I met
this girl named Chloe where she was an
amazing leader in what she was doing and
she knew me so well because she saw what
I was doing and she saw how I was doing
things and she came to me and she was
having this conversation and this is one
thing that she told me that you know
dinesh you can be that overachiever that
everyone can look up to you can be the
person who is so good in whatever you do
you can be a CEO one day and etc but
when you die you will die one day so
when you die and at your funeral
if everything that people is gonna
remember about you are your achievements
ordination was the CEO Denise did the
initials that but if no one is gonna
remember about how kind you were to
others and if no one is ever gonna be
like oh there's one time where I was
going to an adversity and he actually
helped me out and then there's no
purpose to what you have left you see I
have a good shield of ego usually but
that night those words shot me
and that's when I realized that
sometimes we are all extremely busy
chasing after all these achievements
chasing after good grades good grades
are important you needed to get employed
and chasing after all these great things
without realizing that deep down as a
person there's more to life than just
these achievements so when I came back
from the camp I realized that maybe it's
alright to lose your ego maybe it's fine
to lose an argument I was a debater and
losing an argument was my worst
nightmare see when when people are
fighting I used to fight till my last
breath to prove my point right but
sometimes losing that argument is
probably better than losing their friend
and sometimes being kind to others it's
more important than winning in all these
things so when I took a step back and I
realized that our life is way more
complicated than it already is
so if I could ask you to do one thing
take out your headphones I believe
you'll have headphones right take out a
hand phone go to your Instagram whatsapp
Twitter snapchat whatever and reflect
when was the last time you did something
for the first time when was the last
time you tried something new where was
the last time you let go of that comfort
zone and did something for the first
time because to me being in that comfort
zone was what I always loved to do
and I always thought that I am a brave
person because whatever people threw at
me I was able to absorb it and still
perform but ladies and gentlemen that's
when I realized that being strong and
being brave is two different things if
you are carrying all those burden on you
and you are still surviving yeah
you are being strong but someone who is
being brave will know when to stop
someone who is being brave will take the
leap of faith and make radical decisions
and that's what I noticed about myself
where I am so used to being that strong
person I'm so used to always perform but
at times when I needed to be brave I
wasn't brave and you know I've reached a
point in life where I do help out people
in various areas and sometimes people
always ask me dinesh what's the best
life advice you can ever give someone
and I always tell them this and I will
tell you this the best advice anyone
could ever give you stop asking for
advice you see we go after people who
have achievements because we look up to
them but how well do we know each other
how well do you know yourself to make
that tiny weeny change in your life that
will make you a better person you don't
have to make ridiculous changes and go
for a presidency or you don't have to be
in power to make changes if you make
small changes and how you were yesterday
then you should be proud of yourself
and you can never compare yourself with
others because you cannot use someone
else's ruler to compare your
achievements you see in my age it's very
easy to always compete and be like oh
I'm working here or you're doing that
and I'm still unemployed you see being
unemployed or being late in a game is
never a bad thing sometimes the best
winners are those who lost all their
battles first but won the war in the end
so if I could leave you with one thing
remember the start I said there are
three kinds of beasts the drones the
workers and the solitaire queen bee and
our life is not that simple but when we
can't even figure out things to do with
our life why are we being obsessed with
bees why are we always asking is the cup
half full or half filled when you don't
even know if your cup exists in the
first place so agents of change
you go back today if I could leave me
with one thing it's this change can't
happen overnight
don't wait until the moment when things
are too late if there's someone that you
need to apologize to apologize to them
trust me you will sleep better and
sometimes if you feel like you are being
burdened and you have so many things
going on like one side wants like what I
felt it's fine to take a step back and
just be brief because you may lose the
small games but when life comes at you
Will's best shot you can still stand
strong and defeat it at its best shot
and if that's one thing I can tell you
is change but don't change so much
because you will get lost and no ways or
google map can bring you back to
yourself thank you very much
[Applause]