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needed joining me today please welcome
he reads books you know it's Chris Joel
have you ever seen your granny passing
water down by the Old Mill Stream she
pisses for an hour and a quarter when
you can't see her ask for steamed gray
this is the final episode I'm feeling a
bit like a teacher on the last day of
school but nevertheless today we are
talking about the sweater curse that's
no way we're ending this on jumpers the
sweat occurred a sweater curse Chaffin
yeah actually if you're jogging on the
nipple site also I don't jog on have
your body's nipples caring it's very
rude even if they've asked what I do in
the comfort of my own hotel room it's
none of your business
this says like it's the title for a
goosebumps book well the ultimate title
for this article is the curse of the
love sweater the looks like a different
type of novel I think I've seen that
film I paid a few pounds for it and well
it happened late at night and well so
they didn't record properly as it turned
out and you know a lot about my reading
habits if I'm calling the Goosebumps
books novels yes what a great works of
literature is say cheese and die we're
talking about a genre of sweaters
that may have been slightly too fancy
term to use romance westerns vibrant
romance I'm gonna give you a point for
romance it's a yeah I like how fast you
went from I completely understand that -
I have no idea
gently Buddhist experience that actually
in a 2005 poll 15% of knitters said
Baird experienced the sweater curse
firsthand is it just really hard to knit
a specific type of sweater um no this is
not what that's about I mean it is it's
a massive investment to actually knit a
sweater and time and money has their
relationship broken down because they
spent so much time knitting I don't know
what my face was pulling it was great
it's just roll with it I think you were
lucky for us climax relationship
breaking down is the key word there what
might the curse of the love sweater be
the sweaters only half finished before
the break-up happens but I've knitted it
for you and that's the key that's the
absolute key it's a present the belief
that if you give a hand knit sweater to
a significant other it will lead to the
recipient breaking up with the knitter
really Wow
or that the relationship will end before
the sweater is even completed you are
absolutely running it small things all
or have a small significant other there
are six possible mechanisms here but it
does say this has not been studied
systematically divorced beheaded died
divorced beheaded survived
and Henry I've made you this swirl you
know what never mind
you'd have to keep waiting new panels
and for his girth wouldn't you also how
does a poncho style when you're doing
cartwheels how much stuff there is looks
can I say at no point in humanity's
awful beheading histories everyone
looked at God what that work with a
poncho six mechanisms knit purl knit
purl knit knit purl purl purl Popo
that's five the other combinations there
must be six it's no things these are
mechanisms for why the curse might
happen it's been too long knitting and
not enough attention on your liver yeah
I'll give you a point for that the
knitter loves their sweater a little too
much and pesters the significant other
spends too much time needling them stop
being crotchety this is how I try and
drop another one in will cast you off of
that
that was the sound of knitting pun
fatigue just appear did you think we
knew that much about knitting no no but
we know words
so yes misdirected attention is one of
them supposed to do cost a bit of wool
my cost yeah whole cost the light if you
but if you pick an eyeful oh yes but
that's not listed here
it doesn't fit and they all get all
grumpy because they said they too fat or
too thin
oh I'll get ya I'll give you that
insufficient gratitude Oh what are you
knitting me a jumper I look in jumpers
and I don't like them and I don't like
wool I don't like you
you know what yes a version the the
significant other are may not want to
wear it because the sweater looks bad or
conveys overly domestic connotations oh
oh you look like you're wearing a jumper
that's been knitted by your significant
others why would you start that without
saying do you want more that is another
problem the person does not actually
wear jumpers
leading into something here people
naturally break up inside of eighteen
months because the endorphins change in
the jumper might take too long anyway
yes it's a really big jumper then a
seven year knitting a sweater takes a
long time in the relationship
it says here dies of natural causes the
relationship coroner is that we're going
to do we found our new format function
it's cause you're a dick next question
no that's true of most advice like most
advice columnist yeah half of their
reply is gonna be breakup with them
they're a dick that's that's literally
half of their job I like my first lure
of everything which is don't be a nob we
have two mechanisms left we've got we've
gone through timing aversion misdirected
attention insufficient gratitude it's
one of the mechanisms a loom or a weave
being mushy what's the weekend machine
called yeah they got a lumen is it
taking up an entire room in the house
knitting rooms don't they where they
doesn't get remixed as a beat dope put a
donk on it obviously we have here rescue
mission as one of the reasons what might
that the relationship is already dead
your heart-shaped sweater will not save
it yeah Chris Joel the relationship
coroner
the last one is catalyst for analyzing
the relationship what's up it's a stitch
you're always dropping things can't help
it feel your drops my heart Chris Jones
months ago relationship coroner also
possibly wrong meeting what was the
catalyst there what's the sweater done
are you just staring at someone knitting
and knitting and knitting and knitting
and thinking to yourself the [ __ ] am I
doing here
that's close enough yes you you have
received a gift that has had so much
time and effort put into it that you go
this really isn't a fair trade here I'm
not really oh oh oh and we could have
been doing it while you knit in no while
you're sorry brother relationship
defibrillator
the idea would be you
what some of the advice given to
knitters to avoid the sweater curse
other than don't knit a sweater ask
permission yes yes involve the person
you're trying to knit a sweater for
don't simply go here's a sweater
out of nowhere here's the thing I spent
three years making here you love it
don't you
so the categories on this article there
is there is a game here where you try
and guess the article from the from the
categories because here it has curses Oh
knitting luck and clothing controversies
oh we're looking at clothing contract
dodgy Oh glad you came on I guarantee
that at least one of these I'm gonna
read the article and go about five
seconds in oh no we're not talking about
that I can name one that'll be on the
list yep Lady Gaga's meat dress it is
not on the list Janet Jackson's tit
surprisingly not on the list but the
phrase wardrobe malfunction is I'll give
you the point oh okay don't Google don't
look at that one on Wikipedia that's got
a very revealing photo on it saves for
later
all right clothing controversy through
history the dress act 1746 banning of
tartan post 1745 yes you are right this
is Buffalo check peasant
yes this was the act that made Highland
dress illegal in Scotland yeah a band
like the bagpipes what dressing in the
Highland is that why everybody moved to
the sixties at least they could put a
t-shirt on there's a place on the Isle
of seal that is known as the trousers
that's just a seal you will you know you
just got the kiss from a rose it's
separated by very small amounts of water
but technically a teaspoon you're pretty
much really and it's called that it's
cut it's known as a trouser house
because the room that the legend has it
that that's the place you would change
from your tartan from your kilt into a
pair of trousers because you going on to
the mainland it's almost certainly to
use the terms historians use what on
that note the Hat act a few years
earlier 1732 hat is that why ever almost
hats in old films because a proper
gentleman would wear their bowler hat
though it would interact to do that
that's probably banning almost always if
we need to know it's the spinning down
the arm thing back of the neck Billy the
Hat act no it is it is an act of
Parliament so limiting the height of
stovepipes in Parliament limiting
something limiting where the hats are
coming from a broad low was it to
stimulate the British half to industry
therefore banning the import of the hat
from where France no Netherlands I'm
sorry in your point but it's a specific
area rather than country here the head
east try again the west which would be
American America yes
banning American hat signing colonial
hats
yes baseball caps stylish we're going
back further now 1363 the statute
concerning diet and a power this is a
century laws this this because post a
strap yourselves end kids yeah we're on
history press this is the period yeah
mr. post black death as a massive boom
in the economy you get a massive change
in how people dress because people have
more disposable income so people's dress
is getting out of whack the rich people
say that the poor people are dressing
too nicely
so the introduced a law that restricts
the kind of clothes that certain classes
of people can wear so everyone knows who
is yes all right so I'm now out of
clothing controversies articles I'm
going to continue to pick some at random
and we'll see where we go with this
let's do this
what was the rationale dress Society
1881 in London sensible dress Ecole
frivolity gives you that bit from
Jurassic Park where he and Malcolm's
going on about wearing black can you not
wear the square root of -1 no parties
that's the imaginary isn't it not
irrational yeah I'm not giving you a
point for pi there and whence the button
for aza
doesn't even remotely the question I'd
ask the rational dress society they want
people to be dressed properly in all
places and not rough or dirty or scruffy
like it's not so much about the quality
of the dress as more what the dress does
to them does it make everyone look
uniform is it a uniform we all learned
something today
the leading members of the society were
lady harborton Mary
Eliza how ice problem is pronouncing
that and Constance while to the wife of
Oscar Wilde
now given where in 1881 and those are Oh
a gala terian standards of dress a gala
Terry in what sense
gender equality yes I'll give you the
point that it's very specifically
something about women's dress then the
men's dress didn't do oh is it a gala
Terry Anderson made out of eagles three
blokes here who are not from the 1880s
Bert speak for yourself
men's dress had certain freedoms that
women's dress didn't but is it pockets
and the ability to ride a bicycle oh
I'll give you a point for bicycle
because the the lady cyclists
Association we're very keen on because
ladies were encouraged to ride
sidesaddle they imagine how that worked
everybody in that they could only kind
of go on one pedal basically because
cost skirts is it going back to the the
big flowy skirt and corset tree and all
that kind of stuff that they all wore
yeah
what about corset Rick it was throughout
her tea yes they were asking for freedom
of movement and absence of pressure oh I
don't blame the last woman and clothing
controversies what is vanity sizing oh I
heard all the women in the audience
going yeah we know about this we've got
three blocks from Yorkshire here good
luck if you can buy a little light for
three monkeys scrap it in a bottle of
time this is what its gonna look like
right it is where the actual measured
dimension of any given garment or of you
is quite different to the size on the
label
you know how we knew the things about
knitting earlier yeah we might know some
things about closing Barry yeah the wife
crochets on knits in which case at the
end of the show
congratulations are you all win this one
[Applause]
but I think the winner is the audience
though the real winning is in your heart
Jesus congratulations you win a DVD of
the little-known crossover between a
marsupial from Australia and a Time Lord
from Gallifrey
it's Skippy the bush Doctor Who with
that for the final time we say goodbye
to Chris Joel
[Applause]
you