Hi, I'm Nicholeen Peck and I teach all over the world about parenting and good communication
and how to build strong family bonds through the lens of the principal self government. And
in this video, we're going to be talking about how to teach a kid to be grateful.
We live in an ungrateful world right now, sometimes when you have too many things,
you just become selfish and ungrateful. In this video, we need to talk about what to do
about it. So we're going to be talking about the situation that we have at hand with ingratitude,
and our children and some key things that you can do in your family to promote an environment of
gratitude. So why do we have such an ingratitude problem? Well, one of the reasons is because we
have so many things. Honestly, everything is at our fingertips. You're watching YouTube right now,
hello, you can learn anything you want just about that fast. We hardly have to work for anything
anymore because of that we expect instead of showing gratitude. Sometimes I look at some of
the modern inventions and conveniences around me, sometimes I look at my phone and what I can do on
my phone to run my business and I think what would my great grandmother think about today,
she would be blown away. She would never think you could have a phone in your pocket and drive
around with it. And it could work, let alone you can access your bank, order your products, talk
to your people, make posts about stuff, do videos, all the things, she would never think that. If she
could do even one of those things, she would be so grateful. I remember hanging out with my great
grandmother, and my grandparents and hearing them talk about the wilds of technology. I remember my
grandma and my Grandpa Gundry saying, look at the computer, look what it can do. This is incredible,
when the computers were these big things, big boxes, you know, and they couldn't even do that
much, especially compared to now they couldn't even access the internet yet. But they were amazed
at what they could do at that time. They were like there's gonna come a day where people don't
even buy typewriters anymore and here, I thought we were lucky to have an electric typewriter. I
still remember my mother typing when I was a little girl on a typewriter that was not an
electric typewriter and her wishing that she could have an electric typewriter. Amazing,
right. And so I'm grateful for all the things around me too. But it's really easy to lose sight
of the past, to forget how things began, when we were young, to forget that this technological
age is actually still a new thing. It's easy to forget and that's because life moves so
fast. And technology is promoted, in fact, to the point that if you don't have enough technology,
you simply cannot keep up in the world. So I do think technology is one of the key things
that's actually making us selfish and impatient. Because we can do so many things so quickly,
when a person has to be patient for something, when they have to wait for that special dress,
when they have to wait to get that toy at Christmas, when they have to wait. That
actually makes them grateful. So I know a young man who said. You know, when I was young, I didn't
have a lot of toys and stuff. We just didn't have room for it in our house. Our house was small. So
I would go out in the yard and I would play with a stick. We had sticks, we had rocks, and I would
do things with them. I would pretend with them, you know and he loved his childhood. He had
a great childhood, he loved his family. And now that he has a child, and he's getting his child,
all these little things, and he's like, boy, I never had all of these things and this is
kind of amazing that I can get these things for my child. But I don't know if this actually is
healthy. And to his point, I'm not 100% sure if it is healthy, to give a person every single thing
all the time. But it's hard because we advertise everything and the world is so enticing. So this
is where we find ourselves. The children see all the new little gadgets, the stores are full of
merchandise and new things come out all the time. This makes us very ungrateful and to boot, we
have greater health than we ever did before because we've got all of the innovations in
medical, and we understand how our bodies work so well. So nutritionally, we're taking better
care of ourselves, we're exercising better. I mean, look at me, I've lost 100 pounds in the
last couple of years. We are doing so many great things, because we are knowing so much more. But
sometimes when you start learning a lot more, and when you start applying more of that knowledge,
you actually forget to be grateful that you have the knowledge in the first place. So all things
come from somewhere, where is that? We're going to talk about where that is, and how
to create an environment where children can be more grateful. But first, what are you grateful
for? Do you see that chat down below this video? What are you grateful for or what do you notice
that people are not grateful for that they should be grateful for? In fact, I'm really
excited to see what types of answers might be in the chat on this video, because I think there are
many things that we should be grateful for that we are not that we just don't consider. So where
does everything come from anyway? I'm a God fearing person and I truly believe that the
Lord has given us everything for our happiness. Sure, over the years and years, you know, of the
history of this world, it's rolled out bit by bit, but my goodness, every time a person's crops grow,
every time they can find clean water to drink, he is the reason, right? Every time we have a house to
live in, he is the reason. And so for me, I feel like everything I see around me, turns my heart
back toward him and isn't that truly where the root of gratitude is, to be grateful for a person
is to be grateful for their greatness. But in the end, everything came from God. And so for me, it
all goes back to him. Now I know for you, that may be just over the top for you and that's okay, if
it is. But I've got to be honest about myself. The more and more I get to know God and love God, and
follow Him and His counsel for me, the more I love everyone around me, the more I am grateful for all
the things I have. When I drive down the road, and I see the mountains in the distance covered
with snow. I'm grateful for the snow for the water that will have and I'm grateful for the mountains,
too. So how do I help my children then find the same gratitude? Well, the first thing you do is
express your gratitude out loud. So often we feel gratitude for things. But we don't actually say
it. We might think, oh, that was really nice. But we don't say it. And when we drive down the road,
and we see a sunset, we don't say look at that sunset. Look at those pretty colors. Those are
different, more vivid cover colors than I usually see. Oh, I'm so grateful. I got to see that today.
What if we engaged in the world like every day was our last? What would you see if every day
was metaphorically your last? If you didn't know if you would have this day again because indeed
you don't. My mother said to me Nicholeen, when I travel with you, I see everything. And I'm like,
Of course you do. I'm not going to go to Alaska, and not see the Northern Lights,
I'm not going to go to Cincinnati and not see the Cincinnati Reds Stadium, I'm not going to
go to Fort Worth Texas and not see the long cord cattle and the longest indoor rodeo, I'm
not going to do it. I am going to see the things and do the things and if I don't have the money,
I'm going to figure out what I can see and do without the money. But I am going to go and I'm
going to do it because I am grateful for all of it, that I get to be there. Even if it's there
to speak at a conference. I'm so grateful I get to be there. And you know what else I do? Because I'm
grateful I talk to people, when I'm somewhere in another place, I make eye contact, I smile.
And I try to you know without annoying anyone. Talk to people strike a conversation. Because
I'm grateful that they're there. This is all something that you do that shows your
children what matters in life, the people, the sunset, the moment, the gratitude. That is how
you teach gratitude more than anything else. Now beyond that, don't overload your children with too
many things. Let them work for some of the things let them hope for a few things. That also builds
gratitude. It teaches them that good things come to those who wait and that waiting is in and
of itself a principle. Delayed gratification is something that leads a person to success.
Successful people always have to wait for the next step. The next moment, the next success. It's the
people who aren't successful who don't know how to wait. They feel like everything should come to
them instantly or they better not try. Another thing that you can do as a family and this is
something that I love that families do I have a great friend who does this. I did not do it.
I'm gonna say I did not do it as a family. We did it probably a few times. I have this friend that
every night at dinner, they sit around the table and they always talk about what they're grateful
for. They talked about something that happened. They didn't like for the day, just one. And then
they talk about three things they're grateful for. And they go around the table and everybody talks
about their one piece of bad news and there are three things that they're grateful for that day.
So what is the focus, the gratitude, and the children are going throughout the day, and they
are expressing gratitude in their hearts because they're collecting ideas for dinner that night.
Now, here's another thing, I do, praise, you should praise your children six to 10 times
for every one time that you correct them. When you praise a person, you are expressing your
gratitude to that person, you're showing them their value in your eyes. This teaches them to
be grateful to you and to other people, too. So praise should be part of your family culture,
have your culture be optimistic, not pessimistic, and focus on the good things that people do.
Another thing that we've done in our family is we have decided that we would make it an important
thing to have regular family gatherings. So not only do we eat dinner together, but we also had
family activities together on a weekly basis, at least once a week where we would do things
together. And we would spend time enjoying each other's company, not watching a show, but I mean,
doing something like really doing something. And then we also would have family meetings where we
would discuss as a family, how we're going to run the legislation in our house, which decisions that
we want to make as a family together and that also helped my children appreciate this family
dynamic. Appreciate me, consulting them on things. Here's the other thing too. Talks, regular talks
with your children, make sure you have good open communication. Don't waste a car ride with just
meaningless music in the background. Talk about things. Have it be a time where you can express
your feelings toward them, and your positive feelings about other people, as well as expressing
gratitude for the things that you see around them. Gratitude is contagious. Gratitude is the seed
of love. Children can learn gratitude in simple environmental ways and it is parents who teach
it and if you expose them to media that does not show gratitude, you might be undermining all
the work you're doing. So be careful about that to read them good stories, grateful stories, I highly
recommend Lamplighter theater Lamplighter books, those teach stories of character and gratitude and
self control the things that our children need to feel powerful in the world. I hope that your
children become different people because you have decided what you're grateful for. Right now, write
down at least two things that you are grateful for and I want you to promise yourself, you
will explain why you're grateful for those things to your children. And if you have to put them in
the chat, okay, just type them in the chat right now. If you don't have anything else to write on,
tell your family while you're grateful. Let that conversation go to the next level of gratitude,
which is how you're grateful for them too. If you've enjoyed this video about gratitude,
I'm quite sure that you will love my next video, which is all about disagreeing appropriately,
which is a very graceful way to have disagreements and one of the four basic skills of self
government. So if you go to full class about disagreeing appropriately, then you can learn
that valuable skill, which can hopefully help you communicate with even more gratitude in your home.