- Good morning, good life everyone.
Welcome back to AmyTV where we come together
to help you go after the life you want.
I recently went to my Instagram and asked you guys
for some ideas on some new videos,
things we haven't talked about yet.
And whoo, your responses ran the gamut.
Everything from how to become a public speaker
to how I take care of my skin,
from running my business to caring for a senior dog.
That one made me laugh a lot.
And I thought wow,
they really think I have my life together.
So instead of addressing any of your ideas whatsoever today,
I thought I would share with you some of my tricks
for making it seem as though
I really do have my life together.
(upbeat music)
If you looked at the title of this video
and you thought, "Yes Amy girl, please give me the answers."
I have news for you, nobody, not nobody,
- Not nobody, not no how.
- Nobody really knows what the heck they're doing.
And therefore nobody really really has their life together.
Not fully anyway, right?
We can't cover every single base.
We can't be perfect.
I've tried.
It doesn't work.
This is one of my favorite things that I have learned
as an adult that keeps me just giggling on the inside
and just level headed, especially in business,
is that you will discover that pretty much nobody
has a clue what they're doing.
Not one.
We're all just trying to figure it out.
All of us at the same time
and some of us have accumulated some things
that help us draw conclusions and try to do the right thing.
But most of the time, we're just trying to balance
this whole like I'm gonna try.
I hope I do this right with I'm gonna make every one thing,
everything is fine.
I tell you when I realized that,
that was such a relief and a confidence booster.
So I want you to feel that relief.
Just take that in right now.
Just think about all the people in your life,
close or far away that you think they've got it
all figured out.
They don't.
I just want you to just feel the relief in that.
I do not have my life fully together.
Cross my heart, hands to burn book.
The moment you really let that set in
is the first big step of peace that you need to start
making people think you have your life together.
So that's required, you should do that now.
Just pause,
and sit in that, okay?
But then press play again, okay.
I'll still be here.
That peace you're feeling is not only the step to making it
look like you have your life together,
it is that feeling that you have your life together.
You have to feel it in order for you to exude it.
So I wanna talk to you about how you can actually start
feeling it in yourself.
No matter what we're trying to swindle on everybody.
Now we need to dig into some of these details
on getting your life together for the whole world,
especially for yourself.
But first, I have to give a little bit of Twitter gratitude.
Today's shout out goes to sandream.
Thank you so much for your retweet of my latest video.
I acknowledge you for your time and attention
to this content and I appreciate it
more than you could ever know.
If you would potentially like to be featured here
on AmyTV, it's very simple.
Follow me on Twitter and when you see a very
ridiculously silly photo of my face,
along with a YouTube link, go out, retweet it
and I just might randomly select you.
Is that the most narcissistic thing you've ever heard?
Probably.
My life is together.
It's together.
This episode of AmyTV is also sponsored by our friends
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We all have our grooming routines from showering
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I mean sometimes we do that last one right?
Personal hygiene is definitely a step
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The reason for this is that I'm starting to have my
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It's very simple and very necessary.
Okay how do we help other people think
we have our life together.
We've gotta start to feel it.
And the first really big way to do this
is to stop letting other people think
that they decide whether or not your life is together.
It's very easy for us to rely on the opinions of others
so much so that we think it is the end all, be all
and that if someone doesn't give us their gold star,
then we actually aren't exactly up to par.
This also happens with social media.
We see those highlight reels that our Instagram
and we think, "oh wow,
"I haven't posted an interesting photo ever
"so I must not have my life together."
That's not true.
People obviously show the best things
that are happening to them.
But then you do have those friends who tell you
all the terrible things and so you're like pretty clear
they don't have their life together
but they might and they just like a little extra attention.
See, you can't judge anybody on their social media.
Stop letting other people determine whether you are.
That comes from both you and their feedback.
So if you think that just because what everyone else
has going on is the right place to be,
then maybe that should motivate you a little bit
but it shouldn't set you back.
And if someone tells you you should be doing something
or that you should be at a certain level,
then you should just shooed them out the door
because we don't like that word around here.
Do we?
Yes I still use it but it's a better context
than most people who like to provide criticism
that is not requested.
Feel like you have your life together.
Show that you have your life together.
By making time for yourself.
If you don't make time for yourself,
you don't have a life.
If you don't have five, 10 minutes, hopefully 60.
60 is like for me is like the bomb.
But if you don't have time for yourself,
you don't have a life.
So if you exert too much energy on others.
If you only show up for others,
you are not doing yourself a justice.
You're not gonna feel like you have your life together.
You're gonna feel like your scrambling for everyone else
and everyone else is just gonna be like,
"I mean, she's pretty reliable
"but who knows what's goin' on up there?"
Another idea that I love is from Julie Cameron's book,
The Artist's Way and she talks about
not just morning pages which is where we've gotten
that concept around here but artist dates.
Artist dates are something
where you go on a date by yourself.
Don't worry, you shouldn't have a complex about this.
It actually might mean you have your life together.
To just get in touch with your creativity.
Get in touch with what your own thoughts are.
Put your phone away.
Go to a museum.
Put your phone away.
Go see a movie.
Put your phone away.
Take a walk and look around you.
Try something like an artist date for that intentional
moment of making time for yourself.
Or another thing you could do
is just curl up with a good book.
Make time for yourself by getting educated
by someone else who has really really good ideas
to share with you that you may or may not
want to take into consideration for your life.
I mean if you like murder mystery novels
like maybe don't let that apply to your life so much.
But it's up to you.
Another big one and this is extremely huge for me.
It may not be for others
but I think overall it is good advice.
Limit consumption and increase creation.
I personally feel very confident
about myself most of the time, not all of the time.
Okay, we all have our complexes.
My dermatologist reminds me of mine all the time.
Most of the time I feel confident
because I know that I spend my time and energy
in people by offering them value I know
that they want from me.
So for me, that looks like a lot of things
you've probably seen here.
An Instagram post or a YouTube video
or something on Twitter to motivate you.
That is how I present my best self
and hopefully become that best self in real life
is by showing people who I want to be.
But however you decide to create is up to you.
It could just be being a better listener
in the conversation you have.
Something so simple can make someone feel
completely different about you
than the rambling that you may have decided to do instead.
Outer order is inner calm.
This is a book that's coming up by Gretchen Reuben.
News flash, Amy's obsessed with Gretchen Reuben.
Okay we get it.
We get it.
I truly believe this.
If you do not clean up around you,
the mess that will accumulate which unfortunately
I do have a little bit of it at the moment
so this is really hitting home.
It will take you down.
It will make you feel like you have your life together
if you can at least walk into your apartment,
walk into your bedroom,
walk into your living room,
walk to your kitchen and look in the sink
and feel like everything is in its right place.
Move your butt.
Everybody loved this line from a recent video.
Move your butt and then rest your butt.
That is pretty much all you have to do.
Move your butt but we all seem to rest very frequently.
My body sits in this chair way too much.
So I have to move.
Get to the gym.
Get outside.
Walk around your house or your office in circles
while you take a call, who cares.
Just move your butt because if you do not move it,
your gonna lose it and I feel like that's
I ripped that off from somewhere but it's so true.
I feel completely different
if I exerted a little bit of energy.
They're on the treadmill or at a yoga class.
And that can be life changing, not just for energy level
but for longevity, period.
Definitely for optimism.
Here's a touchy subject,
limit your drinking.
Kinda goes with move your butt.
You know if you limit your alcohol consumption,
you do tend to feel a little bit better.
Your body operates at a bit of a higher level,
now that's not to say that sometimes when you have
a glass of Prosecco that you don't feel
a little bit better about yourself at that moment as well.
But that's unfortunately not sustainable.
So limit your drinking.
Your doctor asks you how many drinks per week you have
for a reason.
You should be able to count that high.
And you'll probably be more likely
to move your butt the next day.
This one is a favorite of mine.
Don't reply to texts right away.
Alright Millennials, take it easy.
I personally hate texting.
That's, I don't know why.
I don't know how this happened
in every other way, I am your typical Millennial.
Basic as they come.
But I hate texting.
I hate the act of texting.
I like the purpose of texting.
Like I love that my doctor appointments get confirmed
with a Y or an N now and I don't have to answer the phone.
Fantastic.
But I don't enjoy texting
and I certainly enjoy the fact that if someone texts me
and I text them right back
they text me right back
and then I have to text them right back
and it's this awkward moment and they just
just decide to keep talking and before you know it
you've wasted an hour of your morning
because you shouldn't have replied right away.
Replying right away insinuates you ain't got nothin' to do.
And whether you actually do or not,
is not good for making it look
like you have your life together.
It actually is more likely you will read the text
more efficiently if you take a break from it
and then come back.
Emergencies are different.
But for those people
who just wanna have a conversation with you,
you've got to have boundaries.
If someone actually really wanted
to have an ongoing conversation with you,
why would they not call?
I'm not a proponent for calling on the phone.
I don't want phone calls either.
But do you understand like
texting should be with a purpose in my opinion
and that purpose should never be to indicate
that you are readily available at a moment's notice.
This conversation does not go for my best friend Sarah.
You better reply to me every time, thank you.
Oh I picked another controversial one here I think.
Stop wearing leggings as pants.
I used to think this was a stupid rule
and then I became 30 years old.
Depending on who you are,
depending on your age and
a lot of other things, where you're going.
Are you going to yoga class?
Then it's socially acceptable.
Wearing leggings as pants is a clear indication
that you don't have your life together enough
to put real pants on.
This is a big one.
I talk about this all the time.
Wash your face.
Please.
Every night, you go outside.
There's pollution.
You don't leave your house, there's pollution.
You touch your face.
I'm touching my face now.
You wear makeup.
You ate a hamburger and some of it got here
on the side of your face.
And you used a dry, thin piece of paper to wipe it off.
Wash your face.
It has been scientifically proven
that you further age overnight
if you do not wipe the crap off your face
and hopefully add a little bit of moisturizer
for it to rehabilitate itself.
To turn over those skin cells.
Do you want to age faster?
If so, you probably don't belong on this channel.
(laughs) I'm just gonna be
honest with you.
I also wash my face in the morning.
It's how I wake up.
But sometimes I actually don't even use cleanser.
I'll just rinse my face so I don't overly wash.
This is something that happens
especially for dry skin, you need to be careful about it.
Whether it's the Dollar Shave Club Face wash
or something that you have.
Just wash your face.
Get the dirt off.
Moisturize.
Take care of this thing like you care about the fact
that it is entering every room
before the rest of your body, ideally
in order to make a positive first impression.
And make it seem as though you have your life together.
If you have dried mascara underneath your eyes,
I know you slept with it on.
I'm telling you I don't care
if you got your makeup done professionally or not,
no eye makeup is worth keeping for more than eight hours.
I'm sorry.
I'm not sorry.
Why am I saying I'm sorry?
I am not sorry.
And speaking of that,
stop saying your sorry.
Just stop.
We do this so much where we overly apologize to fill space.
If we do that, we haven't quite figured out our lives
'cause we're trying to accommodate to many other people.
Stop over apologizing, okay?
Decide what is right for you
and make the decision.
And stand by the decision
and feel confident in your decision.
You should not blow with the wind
every time that an idea that you have
or an opinion that you have gets a little toppled over
or gets a little bit of friction thrown its way.
Stand by your decision.
You know your gut.
You know what's right for you.
And yes, you've taken some advice
and you've applied it.
And you've taken action to know what's right for you.
Do not let someone tell you otherwise.
Feel good about it.
Big sunglasses.
Literally no other words necessary.
Just big sunglasses.
Okay fine I'll give you a couple more words.
Great for no make up days
and leaving the house when you force yourself
to put a real pair of pants on.
Great for additional sunblockage.
We are trying to maintain the situation here.
So sunscreen, big sunglasses, big win.
You've got your life together.
I don't care what anybody says about you.
Calendar blocking.
Do you want your life together?
Do you want it to look like you have your life together?
Do you wanna feel like you have your life together?
Plan your life out.
Block it in your calendar.
Go watch my video about calendar blocking
so you can get the full tutorial on this.
I can't explain it in full
but what you need to know is that
there are only so many hours of the day
and we all have the same amount.
So if Beyonce is accomplishing more than you are,
why is that?
Make time.
Personalized stationary.
We just sent out a New Year's card
to our dear dear friends and family
because we couldn't do a Christmas card the last year.
We got personalized stationary and we did a wax
little symbol with me and Vince initials.
Everybody was so taken by it.
Now yes, it cost us a little bit of money to do that.
But it really got the message home,
more than anything else.
And if you can just go on something cheap online,
and get your name printed on a pad of paper
and that pad of paper becomes
your little thank you note pad.
And you send that out, you just
you look like you have your life together snail mailer.
God, it's amazing.
I will link to my designer if you want anything like that
and that is amazing.
And finally my last piece of advice
on how to make it look like you have your life together
and to feel like you have your life together
is to acknowledge others
who have a life as well,
whether it's together is their prerogative
but you can acknowledge it especially on their birthday.
Keep birthdays somewhere
that you will be able to track them
and also get advance notice of them.
A couple days, couple weeks, couple months,
completely up to you depending on
the priority of the person but do more than send a text.
You could send some of that personalized stationary.
You could even send them flowers.
You don't have to do that much.
If you do something that clearly took a moment of planning
more than oh crap, Facebook says
it's so and so's birthday today.
Good thing I have their phone number,
I'm gonna send them a text.
Worse than that, write on their wall.
Ugh!
Go above and beyond.
Just a little bit more to make someone feel special.
Alright now I wanna here from you.
How are you convincing people
that you have your life together.
I need to know all the tricks,
leave them in the comments below.
And thanks again to Dollar Shave Club
for making this episode of AmyTV possible.
If you would like to try any of their starter kits,
they are in the description below.
Click the link and get 'em for five bucks.
That's all for today.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
I appreciate it as always.
Make sure you subscribe for good vibes.
Kiss the ones you love.
(lips smacking)
And go after the life you want.
Cheers.
Full disclosure, yes I did buy another color
in this top.
Also for full disclosure, I've had a little bit
of a problem with Juicy Couture.
If you buy this, 'cause I know some of you shopped for it
after I wore it 80 times,
don't put it in the washer.
Okay?
We had a tragedy here so I feel like I had to let you know.
Bye!