My son is a very big Guillermo fan.
Yeah? Oh, is he really?
Yeah. [INAUDIBLE] Yeah.
GUILLERMO: Say hi.
Well, you can take him home for the weekend if you want.
- Could we? - Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
JIMMY KIMMEL: How old's your son now?
- He is 14. - 14 now.
And you were just on vacation, right?
Yes.
Yeah, I went to Hawaii for a few weeks.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Hawaii? - Yeah.
Very nice, very nice.
Are you able to relax?
You don't seem like a relaxer to me.
I do.
I do like to relax.
It takes me-- I like to do, you know, things to chill out.
I like to coconut art.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
- You make art out of coconuts? - No.
I don't. - No?
You just-- - It was a joke.
JIMMY KIMMEL: It was a joke, yeah.
I don't--
Yeah, but--
I like-- I do. No, I do.
It just takes me a little while.
I just got into tennis a few years ago
because I love tennis.
I love watching tennis.
And I started, though, late in life.
So I'm not very good.
JIMMY KIMMEL: When did you start?
Just a few, three years ago, or--
I started, like, five or six years ago.
And then, of course, I got an injury in my elbow.
So already I was bad, and then I got an injury in my elbow,
which compounded everything.
Great, great.
But then when I went to Hawaii,
this time I took it up again because my elbow
was feeling better and I was there with my brother-in-law.
And there was this guy I know on the island, this island dude,
who's a friend of mine, who is a very,
you know, like chilled out guy. And we've played before.
And he said, hey, let's do doubles.
So you know I, of course, immediately went to the tennis
pro to train, because--
JIMMY KIMMEL: Did you really?
Well, I just wanted to get some hits in and go with Brian,
because Brian's not very good either.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Mm-hmm. - And I'd never met this guy.
He was a good pro.
At first, it started out good because he was just
sort of giving us, you know, basic sort
of, you know, follow through, contact point, back swing.
And then it kind of very quickly turned into, like, a
professional coaching session.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Oh, really?
Which my skills just don't live up to.
So he was like, he just-- he goes, wait.
Wait. Whoa.
You're flatfooted.
You're dragging your feet.
That's old man tennis. You want to play old man tennis?
And I immediately, like, kind of get up, no, no.
I don't want-- I'm not old.
I'm sprightly.
And then he started, like you know,
giving me just like these strategies
that my skill set just couldn't live up to.
I give you-- you're a lefty, lefty forehand.
Go to my backhand.
Punish my backhand.
Put me in a corner.
Hurt me.
Teach me a lesson.
Because then I don't know what to do,
because I don't know what to do with that.
And then I'm going to hit back a little,
you know, help me mommy shot, and then what do you do?
You charge the net.
And then what do you do?
I don't know.
What do I do?
You put on a hazmat suit because it's a crime scene
and you're about to mop it up.
I don't even know what he means.
JIMMY KIMMEL: This is very intense for tennis.
It really-- - Yes.
And I, of course, have like hit three balls over the net
in the whole thing.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah, because you get worked up.
But I also like the idea that you are having a friendly match
with a chill dude on the island and you decide you
need to take lessons for it.
Yes.
And it really didn't work. JIMMY KIMMEL: It didn't work.
Yeah. No, it never works.
No.
You can't really learn in a quick--
We were destroyed. JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah.
Oh, you were?
Yeah, and they were, like, wearing flip-flops.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Oh.
That's when you know you're in trouble.
But there was just this sort of,
like, laid back, like shaka thing,
but it was very competitive.
But like, we're drinking it back and forth like we're
in the US open or something.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Were you all ready to go, like all geared up?
Yeah, I was.
And you know, the thing is when it's doubles,
also, you turn on your partner.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Yes.
Right?
Because we're both not good.
But then when I finally, like, get one over the net,
and then it comes back and then he doesn't get it over the net,
I'm looking at him like what is your problem?
He's actually erased your accomplishment.
And then I go back to, you know,
the training that our pro gave us.
And I'm like, all right, look. You're going to play up.
I'm going to play back.
And then we're going to break their spirit.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Uh-huh.
I have no idea how we're going to do that.
JIMMY KIMMEL: You didn't break their spirit.
Yeah.
And were they-- well I guess, were you good sports about it?
Yes. They're nice guys.
You know, one of them's a fisherman.
He offered me an ahi.
He caught a 150-pound ahi.
And I'm like I couldn't take it because I still--
I was so roiled up from the whole thing.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Really?
I was like, I don't want your ahi.
I want to win.
You rejected his fish.
Well, in Hawaii, that could get you thrown off the island,
something like that. - Yes.
I think we're good.
So it was not a relaxing vacation, it sounds like.
No, no.
It was-- I mean, the game itself,
I left much more tense than when I started, for sure.
JIMMY KIMMEL: You did?
OK, well that's great.
What else did you do?
What do you do in Hawaii?
I don't do much.
I like to watch the Tour de France.
JIMMY KIMMEL: On television? - Yeah.
Does anybody know the Tour de France?
See, it's a-- OK. AUDIENCE: Yeah.
But it's a very specific sport.
It's a three-week bike race around France.
Yeah, right.
They go like, you know, over like 1,500 miles.
It's like running a marathon every day.
And it's basically five hours of watching
men cycle for three weeks.
You watch all of it?
I do watch all of it, because if you don't watch all of it--
if you don't watch all of it, it doesn't mean anything.
But if you do watch all of it, it still means very little.
It's very hard to understand.
But-- because it's a very complex race.
There are different competitions within the race.
There's the king in the mountains.
There's the green jersey.
There's the white jersey.
The yellow jersey is the main competition.
And basically these guys are racing every day.
If a guy has a-- like if he has a flat, that's very exciting.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Is it really?
Yes, because then the guy with the bike car
comes and they change the flat.
And it's kind of like the opposite of watching
a Formula One pit stop.
It's the opposite of that excitement.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah.
So you're saying--
But if you're into the race, it's very exciting.
And is there a guy you root for?
Yeah.
Well I mean, you know, it's hard because every year
there are different-- there are a lot
of Belgian and Dutch riders.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Right.
The guy who won this year, Egan Bernal, is from Colombia.
He's amazing. Yeah.
You liked him? You were rooting for him?
Well, yeah. It was exciting.
It was his first Tour de France.
Last year was Geraint Thomas, who was a great racer.
But then, like things happened, like Wout Poels, you know,
he crashed in the time trial.
And we were all broken up about that.
Can I ask a personal question?
Do you have friends who watch this with you?
I have one friend who watches it with me.
JIMMY KIMMEL: You do? - Yes.
JIMMY KIMMEL: And the two of you sit
there and watch bicycle racing. - That's right.
And we alienate everybody else. JIMMY KIMMEL: For three weeks?
Yes.
My children look at me like, when
is the Tour de France over?
JIMMY KIMMEL: They must-- your children
must hate the Tour de France. - They hate the Tour de France.
And do you say Tour de France or Tour de "Frahns"?
Isn't that the way you're supposed to say it?
I say Tour de France.
But I also say "ack-wa" instead of "ahq-wa."
OK, all right.
Well--
- Is that weird? - You-- well, it is.
Yeah, but--
But aqua is actually pronounced "ack-wa."
In France?
And America, too.
Is it really?
Yes.
I looked it up.
So Aquaman, for instance, is "Ack-wa-man."
For me, it's "Ack-wa-man." Yeah.
JIMMY KIMMEL: He is?
What about Aqua Velva, the cologne everyone
wore in the '70s?
I-- that's Aqua Velva.
JIMMY KIMMEL: That's Aqua Velva.
That is Aqua Velva, yeah, because I knew it as Aqua Velva
as a child. - We've learned a lot.
I think what we've learned more than anything is never
to go on vacation with you.
Ben Stiller is here.
His great series, "Escape at Dannemora" is-- well,
we'll show you a clip from that next.
We'll be right back.
Did you know that out in nature, there
are no right angles?
But in here, it's all right angles.
It's an engineered environment--
bars up, bars down, bars across.
And the people inside?
They need to be right angles, too.
What the [BLEEP] are you talking about?
And there are the angles I get bent.
That is "Escape from Dannemora."
Benicio del Toro and Patricia Arquette, we saw in that clip.
Paul Dano is another main-- boy, this is--
I love this series.
Thanks.
I was so bummed knowing it was going to end
and that we weren't going to get another.
It's like it was canceled in advance.
Yes. Well, they got caught.
So--
JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah, they got caught.
So yeah.
I knew-- we knew it had an ending.
And that's kind of what I liked about it,
that it was sort of like this amazingly finite story.
And you know, it all happened over the course of six months
where they started this attempt and they created
this relationship with Tilly, who is
Patricia Arquette's character.
JIMMY KIMMEL: She worked in the prison for--
Yeah, and she had physical relations with both of them.
And they got her to help them escape.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah.
And do you know who also was great,
and I don't feel that got enough credit,
was Bonnie Hunt in this series?
She was fantastic. - She's amazing.
Yeah. - Yeah.
Yeah.
And you got 12 Emmy nominations, which is a--
did the guys who beat you in tennis
know you got 12 Emmy nominations for this?
Oh, yeah.
And they really cared.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Sure.
You won the DGA Award for Best Director, which is, you know,
that's from the other directors.
Yeah.
Do you like not having to act in something?
Yes.
I mean, to direct-- because everything
I've directed up till now, I've been in.
And it was such a relief not to have to deal with me.
You know what I mean?
JIMMY KIMMEL: Well, it must make it so much harder.
Well, when you go to edit, you have to, you know,
look at yourself, which is just, you know, it's painful.
So I-- I was really excited to be
able to work with these actors.
You know, I've known Patricia for a long time.
We did a movie like 20-something years ago,
"Flirting With Disaster."
And Benicio, you know, we used to go up on all the same roles
together.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah you were always--
I always thought of you as a Benicio del Toro type.
But you know?
But they're just such good actors.
And the story was so interesting.
And--
JIMMY KIMMEL: Oh, it was so much fun to watch.
It really was.
It was a great story, but you executed it beautifully.
Well, thanks.
I mean, it's a really--
to me, what's interesting about it is
it's about human relationships.
I mean, this is a real prison escape that happened,
but it happened because people were connecting
with each other in a way that the prison couldn't stop,
you know? JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah.
You know who else was great?
The husband, Patricia Arquette's husband in it?
- Yes, Eric Lange. - Oh, boy.
Great actor, yeah.
Yeah, he was funny and great in that role.
Yes.
And then very, you know, very spot on of the, you know,
the real guy.
JIMMY KIMMEL: You have another.
There's a documentary on YouTube about a band you
were in when you were how old?
I was like 14, 15, 16.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Punk rock band.
Well, sort of.
We were like a wannabe, like, sort of post-punk band that
never really played live ever.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Mm-hmm. If--
- But we recorded an album. - You recorded an album.
Yes.
And I think a lot of people did
this, but not too many people.
It's called-- the band's Capital Punishment.
BEN STILLER: Yes, very high-- yeah.
And this, you can find this on YouTube.
All the guys in the band went on to become successful people
in other fields.
Yes, Peter Swann, who is our bass player,
is the Chief Justice on the Arizona State Court of Appeals.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Right.
And Peter Zusi is a professor of Czech literature
at London College.
And Chris, who formed the band, is a futures trader.
And you know, we--
our parents funded the album, kindly.
And then we got back together and played
together just for fun, really.
Who did the logo here?
BEN STILLER: That was-- that was all of us.
Yeah.
And we took these down on 42nd Street, one of those, you know,
arcades. JIMMY KIMMEL: Oh, really?
BEN STILLER: Yeah, that's me.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Yeah.
Sure, I'd recognize you anywhere.
BEN STILLER: Yes.
You-- I do want to show something and I want
to ask you about it, because there was
a video posted to Instagram.
You did not post this video to Instagram.
I don't know who posted this video to Instagram.
But you're on the subway in New York.
Right.
And-- well, roll this video here, because this woman--
Oh my god!
JIMMY KIMMEL: --got excited to see you on the subway,
so excited, in fact, that she took
the curlers out of her hair.
And you don't know where she's going
to stop either, by the way.
BEN STILLER: Yeah, exactly.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Like a Van Halen video.
BEN STILLER: Yes.
[INAUDIBLE] I love you so much.
[INAUDIBLE] Oh my god.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Then everyone got in the act.
BEN STILLER: Yes.
[INAUDIBLE] video for me, and he take it.
[LAUGHS]
Right.
So--
You were very nice.
I-- yeah, it was such a strange experience
because I had the same feeling as you,
like what is the end game here?
Where is this headed?
Because things just kept coming off.
And then the other thing is that there
an entire train full of people who are not reacting that way.
So it's a little-- you feel a little self-conscious
because everyone's looking at her like, what's her problem?
What is she-- who is that guy she's looking at?
And then the next time that I went on the train, of course,
I was really let down, that nothing happened whatsoever.
JIMMY KIMMEL: Oh yeah, right. - I had makeup.
I was--
Well, it's very good to see you.
You, too, man.
"Escape to Dannemora--" if you haven't seen it, watch it.
It's on Showtime.
It is streaming now.
12 Emmys for Ben Stiller, everybody.
We'll be right back with Robin Thede.