Double Standards Men Face While Dating [0:00:00]
So, when a woman says she wants a man that makes six figures, is 6-foot tall, and has
social, everyone says, “Go get it, girl. You get what you want, queen.” But, when
a man says he wants a woman that cooks, cleans, and is healthy, he’s labeled sexist.
In today’s video, gents, we’re talking about the double standards that us guys have
to deal with. [Music]
Now, the points I’m going to be revealing today were pulled out of our community tab
here at Real Men Real Style. Seriously, gents, if you haven’t checked
out the community tab here at Real Men Real Style, you’re missing out. In the community
tab, you can get in there, leave comments, vote, interact with us and we love hearing
from you guys. Now, with that first comment, Tony Sosa had
a point, but I like what pthesmith had to say. “They’re calling you sexist because
what you should have said is you’re looking for a woman who is nurturing, wise, resourceful,
and who would be a good mother.” I have to agree, pthesmith has a good point.
The way that you word things is key to the way that people understand them and the way
that they hear them. And I really like his wording a lot more. So, if you’re looking
for a partner, I would probably choose to use his words.
Now, we had a couple of guys jumped in and immediately say, “You know, women nowadays,
they’re all too selfish.” I had another guy say that, “Women think they should be
able to fat and disgusting and sit around the house and be able to get a high quality
man.” Gents, I want to nip this in the bud. If you
think that making big generalizations like that and trying to categorize half the population
as being this or that is going to solve your problem, you are mistaken.
As a man married to a woman, who I consider to be one of the most selfless people I’ve
ever met, her mother actually giving her a run for her money. The point being is you
can’t make broad generalizations like that. Yes, there are some very selfish women, but
as a man raising three daughters, who I see the way they take care of each other, the
way they look out for each other and their brother and their family, this is something
that I find insulting. And really I think isn’t an impediment to you being able to
find happiness. I think the point I want to make with this
comment is it’s great if you’ve got standards and it’s even better if you can express
those standards without offending a lot of people as you’re out there looking for a
partner. But, just because you’ve ran into some people
who perhaps have not treated you fairly or you’ve perceived to be selfish, be careful
about generalizing a huge part of the population as all being like that.
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The next double standard, when it comes to dating, for men, it’s like a job interview.
For women, it’s like choosing food off of a menu.
Now, I really like this one, but let’s change it around and look at it from the other side.
So, if dating for guys is like a job interview, one of the best things about that is you get
to choose which job you’re going to apply for, right?
When you go into a restaurant, most of the time you actually do not get to choose what
is on the menu. You are presented the menu and you’ve got to choose from the selection.
So, let’s put ourselves in the, you know, the chair of a woman.
All of a sudden, you’ve got all of these men approaching you these suitors and you
have to choose from the suitors, but the one you want he is over there. And this brings
up another double standard. Actually, on the women side that was brought
up is that women talk about, hey, if I go after a guy, I’m looked at as being too
forward. And, by the way, gents, I would love to hear
from you down in the comments. What do you think about when a woman does approach a man?
Has any of you guys ever been asked out? I’ve had that happened to me a couple of times
and I have to admit, I didn’t follow up. I thought it was a little bit aggressive,
you know, and I looked at it just really wasn’t my type.
But, I would love to hear from you guys what are your thoughts, what’s your opinion.
Let me hear from you down below. I think the point on this one is that dating
in general to most guys, it seems harder for us because we’re getting these questions,
we’re having to measure up. But, there are ways to flip this and a lot of you guys know
this, hey, actually play the field, look at other options. All of a sudden, you become
the one that’s being sought after. Yes, you engage with her, you got it started,
but you know she’s got to measure up to your standards. Notice how we keep coming
back to standards? [0:05:00]
And I think this is key. So many guys and they’ve shown this in there was a whole
study on speed dating in which guys had standards, they had a checklist of what they were looking
for. And all of that went out the window as soon as they see a pretty face.
And that is a very hard thing as a guy not to do because, you’re like, oh, I got a
pretty good chance. I’m going to go with this and most of us will, including me many
times. Point being though is you’ve got to set
what’s important for you. Make sure to write this down, make sure to put it out there,
so you know truly what you’re looking for. Yes, you may go off path, you know, one night
or maybe a few nights. But, hopefully you can get right back to it because if starting
a family, if actually finding someone that is financially fit, if those things were important
to you, you want to make sure early on in the process that that’s important to her.
Next up, we’ve got Vic chiming in and he is saying that, “Women say that they want
to be equal, then I say, ‘How about you pay for dinner or at least split the bill?’”
[sound effect] You hear that? Nothing but crickets.
Now, again, this comment can easily fall into the trap of generalizations because we have
another gentleman, Ethan, jumped right in. And he said that every single woman he’s
gone out with has happily split the bill with him.
And, MGTOW P.L. points out that this is the norm over in Germany and from what I hear
in many parts of Europe. Now, a lot of guys jumped in and said the
problem is that women want it both ways. They want to be equal when it’s convenient and
they want men to be men a.k.a to step up and do things for them when it’s convenient.
And I see what these guys are saying. There are women out there that will take advantage
of men. That being said and I’m going to sound like a broken record saying this, have
your standards and stick to them. And that’s one of the hardest things because
you want to bend it because she’s absolutely beautiful. Just this one time, right? No.
It’s must easier to stick with your standards a hundred percent of the time than stick with
them ninety nine percent of the time. Once you bend, all of a sudden, she knows
you’re going to bend. But, if you have your standards, hey, we always split the bill,
I always expect you to pull your own weight, you’re a partner and that’s what I’m
looking for. It doesn’t matter how beautiful you are, how much, you know, I like, you know,
we like our nights together. You just got your standards. If you hold that,
again, all my friends that I talk to about dating, which are quite a few is I get I want
to get firsthand information. But they all say the guys that have their standards are
the ones who seem to have the best luck finding the right type of women.
Now, gents, if you think that double standards exist for men, do me a favor and smash that
like button. Seriously, by engaging with these videos letting YouTube algorithm know that
you like these videos, more men will find them. Plus, I appreciate it.
Now, the next double standard brought up is that women have all the bargaining power in
the negotiation as they have a lot of demand pretenders, while men are the ones who have
to face all the risks and always offer more to achieve expectations.
Now, pertaining to this point, I totally disagree with this comment. I think the guy is approaching
it wrong and here is why. So, whenever you show up to your negotiation,
even if you feel you don’t have a strong of a position, you do have power. Why? Because
you could always walk away. My question is what’s your BATNA? Now, BATNA
stands for best alternative to a negotiated agreement. Basically, this is your bottom
price. This is in a negotiation is that’s the minimum that you’re going to stand for.
These are your standards, what they must meet for the negotiation to go forward. And the
whole ability of you to be able to have a negotiation is that that person wants something
from the relationship. You want something from the relationship and hopefully there
is an overlap. If there is no overlap, guess what, guys?
This is a relationship you probably should not – not probably, you should not engage
in. Seriously, negotiation imbalances only happen
by people that don’t know how to negotiate. Believe me, that’s probably most people
out there. So, if you understand, again, you set your standards, you know what you want
to get out of life. You know what you’re looking for in a partner, simply hold that
standard to be true when you’re engaging with this person, when you’re measuring
them up and you’re going to find unfortunately most people probably are not going to meet
that standards and you’ll need to move on. When a woman says, I won’t date a guy who’s
under 5’8”, fair enough, people have their standards. Whenever you say I won’t date
a woman that weighs over 130 lbs, you are labeled a misogynist.
Now, I can see how this point really riles people up similar to our first one. But, what’s
interesting about this is most guy, I mean you can’t do anything about your height,
but when it comes to your weight, well, that’s within your control.
So, what do you guys think? Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments.
Now, there is a great comment added by Praise the Sun and he said, “You act like women
don’t get [bleeping sound] for that. But, here you are giving women [bleeping sound]
for that.” And I have to agree. If a woman publicly says
that she’s not going to date a short guy, then, yeah, I think she get a little bit of
ridicule. But, here is where it happens that you really can’t do anything about it. And
that is in the dating apps. Let’s just face it, a lot of the people
are going through and they’re pre-selecting what they’re looking for. And, guys in many
ways are doing the same thing, though, not to the extent of women. But, that’s really
because we don’t have as many options usually coming our way.
But, if you’re having trouble, if you are a shorter guy, then get off the dating apps
and find other ways to meet people. Next, we have the comment, “Forced to treat
her like royalty, while she is free to treat others however she wants.”
[0:10:00] I’m not sure if this one was just trolling
the feed, but to be honest, that just sounds like a [bleeping sound] and you need to get
out of that relationship. Now, this one made me crack a smile and that
is Larry, he said that a woman will never say I can’t afford to go on a date.
Now, this one seems to be insinuating even beyond food if you’re going to go do something
together, you’re going to see a live event, it’s expected a lot of times that the guy
pays for it. I do think if you ask somebody out and I’m
a little bit old-fashioned, I would still think to pay for date. But, I haven’t been
dating for a while. Again, I want to hear from you guys down in the comments below.
Do you think that you should pay for the first date? I want to hear from you guys down below.
Now, in that community post, there was actually some really great advice. Blue Note said,
“As a woman, I don’t understand why guys even date women with height requirements for
their partner. That would be a deal breaker for me. Just like a guy who expects a certain
boob size from a woman. I guess that’s important if all you want is a hookup, but if you’re
looking for a partner for life, stay away from women who have such requirements. Yes,
women usually call the shots, but that’s only because men are willing to put up with
that a.k.a. simp. Know your worth.” I also like what Big B Views had to say, “Absolutely
without a doubt, there are double standards from things like height to job and everything
in between. Most often, someone is expecting the other to meet many criteria to even be
considered worthy of a date. But, trying to apply that criteria in the other direction,
rarely is met with the same expectations.” And, Goldie had this nugget, “There are
double standards because people accept double standards. No one is obligated to date you.
If you are someone who does not have attributes that transcend the double standard, you either
have to convince the judge to stop the double standard or make personal changes to nullify
the double standard. Complaining about the double standard is a waste of time.”
Now, Goldie, that may be true, but it sure makes for a fun video.
So, what video to watch next? How about innocent things that guys do that women for some reason
find disgusting? What am I talking about? Gents, click on this video to find out.
[0:11:59] End of audio