- Have you ever held on to a really toxic
or just unsatisfying relationship
and held onto it almost as if you're like on the edge
of a cliff and if you just let go,
then that is going to be the end of it all?
And you're panicked because you feel like you're on the edge
of this cliff and if you do let go,
then your entire life is going to be meaningless.
Now if you've ever been in this situation before,
you can relate to this,
or if you are in this situation right now,
my message to you is this.
You are not on the edge of a cliff
and you can learn to let go.
In my experience,
it feels like you're holding onto a cliff,
but it's not that at all.
Instead, actually a better analogy
is it's more like you're carrying around
a hundred pound weight vest.
Just everywhere you go,
when you are holding on to a toxic
or unsatisfying relationship.
And when you learn to let go,
it's kind of like taking off this weight vest,
and then you finally say, "Holy, (beep),
this is what life is supposed to really feel like?"
Imagine how far you can go in your life
once you take that vest off.
So how do you let go of those relationships
and take that weight vest off
so you can go live that life that you deserve?
Keep watching.
(dramatic music)
Hey there, my name is Adam LoDolce from LoveStrategies.com,
where we help successful single women get out there
and attract long lasting love
and do it with a proven strategy.
Now, if you do enjoy the topic of this video,
please give this video a like, give it a heart,
wherever it is that you're watching it,
do it right now, please,
because it really helps me out a lot.
I really appreciate it.
And also, it's gonna give you a little bit
of good luck and good karma in your love life
moving forward.
Now, if you've ever been in a toxic relationship,
you probably noticed
that these can actually be very addictive.
The emotional volatility of a toxic relationship
can actually draw us in.
And it seems totally insane
when you are watching someone else
in a relationship like that
and wondering why it is that they are staying
in that relationship?
But once you are in a relationship like that,
there's actually a lot of highs and a lot of lows
that keep you in that relationship.
But for anyone who has actually stayed
in a relationship like this,
you probably realize that these relationships
are very unhealthy for you.
And in order to actually find
and attract a really healthy relationship,
it's really important to let go.
First sign is that he is not fueling you.
He is draining your energy.
When you're in a good, healthy relationship,
that person tends to kind of fill up your tank in a way.
After a conversation with that person,
after being with that person, you walk away
and you are ready to just destroy life.
You are so excited.
You have new energy, you're invigorated
because that person gives you that fuel.
On the other hand,
when you are in an unhealthy toxic relationship
and it's time to let go, every time you're with that person,
your fuel tank gets depleted
and they are just a constant drain on your life.
So be very aware of the type of energy people give you.
And if you're finding,
even outside of romantic relationships,
even a platonic relationship,
if a person is constantly draining your fuel tank,
be intentional about pushing that person out of your life,
because you know what?
We only have so much time to give
and so much time to live.
Sign number two is that you are constantly the investor
and he is constantly the beneficiary.
I had a client the other day
who was talking about a new relationship
she just found herself in.
We call this little love step number six.
It's a committed, exclusive relationship,
but it's just the beginning and this is the time
where you really get to know a person.
And what happened is that within only a couple of weeks
of them becoming exclusive, things started to really change.
He went from being the pursuer,
from the person trying to plan things, trying to see her,
to only truly trying to take from her,
trying to get as much as he can from the relationship.
And it got to a point where every single time
they were around each other,
every time they even texted with each other,
he was asking for a favor
or for her to do something for him.
And it all came to a head when one night,
she was making him dinner and on the way over to her house
where she was making him dinner, she said,
"Hey, would you mind picking up some milk for this recipe?"
And he said, "No, I don't have time."
And she's like, "I don't understand.
You don't have time, you're coming to my house
and I'm making you dinner."
The reality was this guy went from being a giver
during the dating phase to a taker.
This is not a healthy relationship.
Healthy relationships are where you have two investors,
both investing in one another.
And thus, the sum of each part is greater than the whole.
So what happened with that client?
She ended up breaking off with him,
going back to little love step number three,
getting back out there, attracting love.
And you know what?
She's now in a much better relationship
with a much better guy.
All is well that ends well.
The next sign is that you just feel alone
in the relationship.
Now look, it's okay to feel alone.
Especially when you're not living with a person,
sometimes we feel lonely.
But if you're always feeling lonely in the relationship
even when you're with that person,
like they can't quite understand you
or they're saying things that just don't click with you
and your lifestyle, maybe it's time to let go.
I call this a hollow relationship.
It sometimes can look really good on the surface,
but then when you go a little bit deeper,
ultimately you just don't feel that deep,
emotional connection.
I know far too many people who've gone in way too deep
in hollow relationships.
And sometimes they even marry a person
even though it's hollow.
They marry that person
because that person looks good on paper
and everyone else seems to like that person,
but ultimately, there's just nothing there.
And that relationship never survives.
So if you find yourself in a relationship with a person
and it feels hollow, you feel alone,
you don't feel understood,
take a real hard, look at that, take a step back,
it's possible you need to let go of this relationship.
Now there's one final sign that I wanna talk about
and this is for those of you who have an ex in your life.
Ex-husband or an ex-boyfriend.
This sign is when you need to let go of that person.
And this is when that person seems to reappear in your life
every single time you are making progress in your life.
Let me explain.
When our clients join love accelerator,
they are starting to get really intentional
with their love life.
And there's this weird phenomenon that happens.
It's almost as if there's like this SOS signal
that goes out to all their exes that says,
"Hey, I'm starting to figure my life out.
Things are starting to go well."
And they all start to come into your life
to make you miserable again.
And this happens all the time.
It's absolutely mind-boggling.
I'll have clients come on and say,
"Look, I'm starting to talk to this new guy.
Things are going really well
and my ex will not leave me alone.
That blood sucking, narcissist, emotional vampire of an ex."
That is the time to say no
and to let go of that person emotionally.
Because I believe truly that we only have a finite amount
of emotional energy to give.
And every time a piece of that pie is given to your ex
or to someone who is not feeling you
or anything that we've talked about in this video,
then suddenly that is emotional energy
you can't give to someone else.
So I am a strong believer in letting go
of the emotional clutter.
That person, that ex sounds like emotional clutter to me.
All right?
That sounds like the type of person
who is just going to take and take and take us,
like a vampire sucking your emotional blood out of you.
And moving forward,
be intentional about who you let in your life.
I know this isn't easy.
It's easy to be on this side of the camera
talking about this stuff.
You have to live your life.
You have to actually do these things,
but I wanna tell you, I am here for you.
You've got this.
And I want you to open your world to people
who actually fuel you, who give, who invest in you,
who want to be with you for the longterm.
So leave your heart open, go make it happen.
And if you are ready to really let go of your ex
or let go of someone in your life,
leave a comment right there below,
hold yourself accountable.
And if you really like a lot of help in your love life,
and you wanna be a part of everything that we're doing
at Love Strategies with our love accelerator program,
then go ahead, you can apply.
We'll leave a link in the description
or wherever, link in bio, or at lovestrategies.com.
You can apply for love accelerator,
and we will meet with you personally
and see if our process is going to help you
in your love life.
So thank you so much for watching
and I will speak to you, you beautiful,
sexy single lady next week.
All right, bye, bye.