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Coming out as part of the LGBT+ can be a terrifying ordeal.
The uncertainty of figuring out whether someone is safe to come out to can fill them with
distress and anxiety.
If a friend or loved one chooses to come out to you, it means they’ve trusted you enough
to share this very important part of themselves.
While it might come as a surprise at first, understand that their sexuality makes them
no less of the person you once loved and appreciated.
Their identity is much more than their sexuality.
At the same time, it’s still something very much worth celebrating.
Whether it’s a friend, sibling, or someone else, here are some ways to support your LGBT+
friend.
One: Reassure your friendship and support
Your friend has just come out as a minority that some people may not support.
So, be a kind person.
Show that you don’t fall under the disapproving crowd by affirming that you’re still their
friend no matter what.
These words of affirmation will provide them with a sense of relief.
So make your support clear to them right away.
Say things like: “That doesn’t change our friendship at all.” or “You’ll always
be my friend, no matter what.”
Two: Offer them a hug
Were they emotional before they revealed their sexuality to you?
Coming out can be an overwhelming experience.
Many people get emotional right as the words come out of their mouth, especially if you’re
the first person they came out to.
If you’re unsure of what to do, offer them a hug.
Hugs build a sense of trust and safety by boosting oxytocin levels, and for people with
physical touch as their primary love language, this can be a great way to show your full
support of their reveal.
Three: Learn more about their sexuality
There’s a world of different sexualities out there, some that you may not have heard
of, but all as valid as the next.
If you’re confused about the terms they’ve used to identify with themselves, don’t
be afraid to ask them about it nicely and appropriately.
They’ll be happy to explain further for you.
If they’re unsure themselves, give them a nudge to go see a therapist or counselor
to help clear things up.
Even if they don’t push through with it, showing thoughtful concern can mean the world
to them already.
Four: Lighten up
Not all LGBT+ members come out of the closet the same way.
Some may come out in a grand spectacle, while others come out low-key.
Everyone experiences it differently.
In any case, it’s still important to show your unwavering support.
Stay off the jokes that may be deemed harmful and inappropriate, but don’t act completely
different and uptight either.
Your friend would just want you to act the same way as you’ve always done, while also
getting their sexuality off their chest.
And that’s a perfectly reasonable thing to wish for.
If their signals are unclear, ask them how you should support them as a friend.
Give them a chance to express their desires by opening a clear and open means of communication
with them.
Five: Be an ally
Has your friend or sibling come out to you, and did so in fear that someone else would
disapprove of their identity?
While there have been waves of progress made to challenge and fight against discrimination
in recent years, it’s still not completely phased out.
If you hear another friend or classmate make homophobic or transphobic remarks, challenge
their hurtful speech or help them understand the weight of the words they throw out.
No matter what, there are just some people who will never be on your friend’s side.
The best thing you can do is to be a genuine friend that’ll always be there for them.
Create a safe space for your LGBT friend or loved one to be themselves.
Six: Continue doing the same things
Do you and your friend play video games every Friday night?
Do you walk home from school every day?
Keep on doing it.
The last thing your friend or loved one would want is to make things awkward between you
two.
Your friend might have stressed over the possibility of a friendship ending between you two, or
slowly drifting away.
Your friend coming out doesn’t change anything negatively.
Continue nurturing the friendship and growing together; you’ll make them feel more at
peace with themselves.
So, what was your favorite tip from this list?
When a friend comes out to you, focus your attention on them, and give them a chance
to express themselves.
Listen and show your support with no strings attached.
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See you next time!
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Video by Psych2go.