Wow.
(audience cheering)
Like 99% of the celebrities that come on this show
are tiny, tiny people. Tiny, tiny
I'm gigantic. Yeah.
Yeah. You as well. Thank you.
(Conan laughs) (audience laughing)
Let's make out.
(audience laughing)
(audience cheering)
Yeah, I've been this height
since I was like 12 years old. That's horrible.
Really? - Yeah, yeah.
Mine happened late. I, I was a small kid.
Then when I was about, like literally, 22
suddenly, I was in a radioactive site
and I grew to six four. What, 12? 12 is way too early.
Yeah, no. Six four, 110 pounds.
[Conan] Oh my god.
Just no idea how to use my body, whatsoever.
Right, just probably leaning crazily from side to side.
Oh, it was ridiculous. And I was the only Jewish kid
in an all-Christian school. So the kids, they didn't
like me that much anyway.
And they would stand around me in a circle.
[Conan] What?
And they would jump on my back and yell
"Ride the oaf! Ride the oaf!"
(audience laughing)
Oh my god! - Yeah.
This sounds like something out of like
a Dickensian novel.
Oh, it was ridiculous, it was horrible.
This is terrible.
Yeah, every class photo I'm just cut-off here at the head.
You're cut off and you have eleven kids on your back.
(audience laughing)
[Jason] Yeah exactly. Exactly.
When did you get those kids off, like
just a few years ago. - Yeah, yeah, just shake them off.
So then eventually what happens is you fill out
or I know I will one day, but you filled out.
I'm getting there, yeah. I'm still, the height
is still awkward. I ride a Vespa to work everyday.
[Conan] What? - Yeah, no I do.
[Conan] You live in Los Angeles? - I do, I do.
I don't think you can ride a Vespa around L.A., it's
kind of dangerous. - You can, not only is it dangerous
but I'm also eight inches too tall to be riding a Vespa.
So your knees, you're like up here.
Yeah, it's ridiculous.
And so I look like Big Bird basically.
At stop lights, to make my legs a little more comfortable,
I stand up and just hold the bike. But it came in handy
the other day because I got rear-ended.
Boom, and I'm stopped at a stop light. But luckily,
the Vespa just shot out from under me.
(Conan Laughing)
And it was like a Wile E. Coyote cartoon.
That's great. You're just like, bam! "Oh, oh."
And I just started laughing hysterically,
I looked like a madman.
Wow, you could've been killed.
But we all got a laugh, that's the important thing.
(Audience Laughing)
Absolutely, absolutely.
This guy almost died. - Yeah.
Now you're having a lot of success with this show.
Getting there. - Yeah, this is
people really like the program. But you've also
been in movies, you've been in Freaks and Geeks.
Yeah. - You've been around for a while.
What is the thing that first got you recognized?
Like you were someplace and you got recognized
for the first time.
Yeah the first time I got recognized was here in New York.
I was living here with a girl who was much older than I was
and I was eighteen.
[Conan] Hm, all right.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
(audience cheering)
Yeah, that's how I do it.
(audience laughing)
Yeah, I used to say that too. It was my mom.
(audience laughing)
Living with a girl much older than me, yeah.
Conan! Quiet, mom!
(audience laughing)
It's embarrassing. - I can imagine.
(audience clapping)
So anyways, where are you when?
Well, the first movie I did, unfortunately
the last scene is me masturbating in a confessional.
It is, in fairness, how most movies end these days.
(Jason Laughing)
That's Hollywood for you.
Yeah, I wasn't particularly proud of that.
But my girlfriend wanted to go to a bar, but I was too young
to go to a bar, so she's like, "Don't worry,
you're so tall, no one will care, they won't know."
[Conan] Right.
So we snuck into the bar and I'm terrified of
getting thrown out of this place. And all of a sudden
the bartender looks at me. And he says,
"Hey you!" I'm like
"oh my God, man, I'm about to get thrown out."
He says, "You're the dude who touches himself."
(audience laughing)
And no one else in the bar knows that it's from a movie!
No, they think I'm like the guy in the bathroom
who touches himself. - Yeah.
I've seen sketches of you at the post office!
Yeah, it's that guy! It was horrible, Conan.
[Conan] Now, 'How I Met Your Mother', there's a lot
of good writing, - Thank you.
there's a lot of, in the show, about relationships. - Yeah.
And how people try and meet other people,
have you picked up anything, just by doing the show,
have you picked up any ideas, - Right.
on how you might meet, you know, a potential girlfriend?
Sure. Well, there's one episode. My character has only
been with one woman his whole life. And I'm finally single
and the boys try to teach me how to meet women.
And so they show this kind of male, coquettish look
where you put your hands in your pockets, you kind of
hunch over and tilt your head to the side,
give a little smile. Try it.
[Conan] What's this?
[Jason] Just like this.
Me try it? - [Jason] Yeah.
So it's just, you put your hands in your pocket,
and you kind of stand like this.
Yeah, takes some of the height off.
Put your head down like this.
[Jason] Yeah, exactly, that's it. You got it.
(audience cheering)
You know what the problem is with that?
This is how ratings bonanza right now.
You know what the problem is? There's a voice that goes
with that stance. And it sounds something like this,
Hi ya girls! - Hi ladies!
How you doing? - Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know about that look, that look's.
It usually works but I'm often wearing a
"How I Met Your Mother" hat, which may have something
to do with it. - "Please talk to me" hat.
Yeah, exactly.