Hey, guys! So, it is that time of the year again.
One of the most stressful times of the year for guys.
Well, I guess it's stressful for girls, too. So actually, girls, you can use these these same ideas, but I'm just gonna be giving them from a guy's perspective
since I'm a...guy.
You see, Valentine's Day is different for everyone. But, for the majority, it comes with an expectation that a lot of people fail to meet.
And, well, this video is for all you people out there who struggle to meet that expectation every year.
And I know, I know; there's a lot of you out there that aren't in a relationship
and that's because you haven't seen this video yet!
Because if you do, I promise you that these ideas work over 100% of the time
every single time that it works.
So, if you finally want to be romantic
and you don't want to just meet that expectation but exceed it,
you've come to the right video.
The typical 3-part Valentine's Day gift --
It's probably the most common and safest gift that you could that you could get a girl on Valentines Day.
You know what I'm talkin' about - Flowers, chocolates, stuffed animal.
It's a go-to; it's the safest thing you could do.
Now you might meet an expectation with this, but like I said in the beginning...
their goal should be to exceed that expectation.
So all you have to do is give her that 3-part Valentine's Day gift,
but in a slightly different way.
Alright, keep them closed.
Don't look!
Okay.
Get ready. Set, open 'em!
Happy Valentine's Day!
What is this?
Flours; your favorite!
These are all the brands you use, right?
Ohhh. (laughs awkwardly for a second) Yeah.
Oh, you know what? I also got you...
Oh my God! Dark chocolates! My fave!
Yeah. Here you go.
Thank youuuu!
Wait.
Is this...chalk?
Yeah; it's like little pieces of chalk. Chalklettes.
(disappointed, understanding) Ohhh. (forces a laugh)
I get it.
It's a joke.
I mean, if you have the bag, did you at least keep the real chocolates?
No.
But, you don't even like chocolate.
Yeah, I didn't eat 'em, I just fed it to your dog.
What? Ryan, you can't give chocolates to a dog, it'll die!
You don't have to worry about that
He's already dead.
Wait - what?!
What are you talking about?!
I gotcha a stuffed animal!
Oh, my God! Toby!
Girls love candy; girls love hearts.
And, most importantly, girls love getting little messages that are so cute that it makes them giggle in the insides!
All you have to do give her your own version of those little, cute candy heart messages.
Hug me (laughs a little).
Aw.
Or else.
I'm going to.
Roofies.
Oh, JK.
So silly.
However.
Laxatives?
LOL
(stomach rumbles)
The not-so-typical gift
Some girls don't want the typical gift, like we mentioned earlier.
They wanna know that you put some thought into it
and put your heart into it.
And also... because they wanna post about it on social media to show how AMAZING and AWESOME
their boyfriend is.
You know, so they can get a lot of likes.
So, all you gotta do is give her exactly what she wants!
Don't peek, don't peek.
Stay right there!
Aaand... open them.
What the hell's going on?
It's my new girlfriend.
What?!
Yea, I'm leaving you for her.
How it this a Valentine's day gift?
This is the best gift you could ever give to a girl.
How?
I just gave you a free Facebook post where you and your other mean girl friends can talk about how ugly your ex's new girlfriend is.
You're gonna get so many likes! You cant even buy that!
Sing her a song.
It's unfair, but it's true. There's nothing more romantic than a guy singing to his girl.
But in order to make it more special, you have to make it personal.
All you have to do is pick a song that reflects your relationship.
You can even change some of the lyrics to make it make more sense.
Even if you're not a singer, like me, just sing from your heart and she'll love it.
So, you know I don't really sing, and I don't play the guitar, or anything.
But this Valentine's Day, I actually learned a few songs for you.
Oh my god that's so sweet.
And, well, these are a few songs that remind me of us.
Don't judge me, I'm not, you know I'm not a singer.
You know that.
So, here we go.
(Sighs and clears throat)
(Plays a chord)
b**** I don't f*** with you,
You little stupid a** b**** I don't f*** with you.
And I might forget you... Oooh hoo hoo
My mama don't like you, and she likes everyone.
I got 99 problems but a b**** ain't one. (Random shout that sound like hit me)
So he calls me up, and he's like, I still love you, and I'm like oh my god, this is exhausting.
Like, we are never getting back together, like, ever.
NooOOoo.
Okay, you can just stop. That, that's good.
What's wrong?
Nothing, I mean I just thought you were actually going to sing something a little more romantic and personal.
Oh. I mean, you didn't lemme finish. My last song is actually very romantic and personal.
It's actually one of your favorite songs, and I even changed up the lyrics to make it more honest and personal. .
Oh, okay.
And honey I, will, be loving you 'til we're 70.
Aww.
And after that I'm over you, mark it down, at 71, girl, we are through.
What?
I'll have someone new, by 72.
Hmmph.
I can't wait.
Make a photo album.
Memories are everything. And what better way to make sure you'll never forget them, a photo album.
Show her you really care about the memories.
I know how important memories are to you, so for Valentine's... It's a photo album.
Gosh, you made this? Thanks.
Oh my gosh, this is disgusting.
What? Why?
Ew, these are all just pictures of poo.
But these are memories.
See look, this one's from our first date, that was right when I got home.
This one's at, I think this was actually at the movie theater bathroom. (Ryan smiles, Arden says uhh)
And this one, oh this is from Thanksgiving dinner.
Look, look at all the corn.
Alright, you know what? That's enough.
Wait, what?
I'm tired of this. Seriously, all these poop jokes, Ryan - it's getting old. You need to grow up.
Yeah you're right. I guess it is getting kinda old.
Yeah.
Good thing I invented this new thing called the fartcam.
What?
(Fart noise) Awww!!
Check it out. (Fart noise) Awww!!
Oh my god.
Fartcam.
Wine and dine.
Not much to explain here. It's a pretty common phrase.
Just do exactly as it sounds, wine and dine.
You know, this isn't really what I had in mind when you said wine and dine.
Was that whining? No no no, no.
Oh, good, because you know the rules.
You whine, you diein'
Yeah, I, I'm not whining.
Engrave it.
You know, Ryan, have you seen my purse anywhere? I can't find it.
Actually, that is your Valentine's Day gift.
You got me a purse?
No. I took your purse, but I made it a little more purse-onal.
Oh my god, Ryan; that's my favorite purse.
It's over a thousand dollars.
That's why I engraved it, so that no one can steal it.
This is leather. You ruined it.
Fine. If you don't appreciate it, I'm gonna take it back.
And also I'm not gonna give back your shoes either.
Wait, you engraved my shoes?
Yeah, the Las Vegas ones.
Huh?
The ones with the LV on it
You engraved my Louis Vuittons?
(Mimicking Arden)You engraved my Louis Vuittons?
Watch a romantic movie together
(Shows Mirror-coal clip from Every Romantic Movie) You are my miracle.
This is awful. So bad.
Write her a poem.
Not all, but a lot of girls really like sensitivity in guys.
If you can write poems, what is more sensitive than that?
(Clears throat)
Roses are red, and violets are blue.
Trees are brown and green, the primary colors of poo.
Which is why they go together, both the tree and the poo, they compliment one another, unlike rose red and violet blue.
I've always thought and wondered which one of us was which, but then I realized, I must be the tree, for you, you are the s***.
I was but a little seed when I met you; I was so immature.
But you never did leave, you rooted down and helped me to grow like a fertilizing manure.
(small laugh)
So, yes, most couples appear like roses and violets, red and blue, poetry.
But we are not gang members we are not some Halo series we are not the original Pokémon colors.
We are brown and green, we are tree and poo, we are, poetry.
(Cheering and applause)
So, what did you think?
Okay, I gotta admit, I thought it was going to be gross and another one of your poop jokes.
But it was actually pretty...
(Ryan farts and does fartcam)
Uhh!!
Fartcam!
Make her a video
And last but not least, if all else fails, and you don't know what to get her, you can't make her anything, the very least you can do is dedicate a video to her...
...coming up with all these different ideas.
Even if you can't personally do all of them, if you dedicate the video to her, it'll show her how much effort you put in, and how much you really care.
And that's about it. All of this was just for you.
My mystery girlfriend in real life that, I guess, I'm finally going to reveal, and, I guess, go public about.
Even thought it's probably pretty obvious to people who watch who you are, because, I mean, you've been in so many videos, and, I mean, you were literally in this video.
Umm... yeah I just wanted to dedicate this video to you because, you know, I love you.
Awww.
(Both lean forward to kiss)
(Fart)Fartcam. Fartcam.
TeeHee!
#FartCam
Thank you guys again so much for watching. If you want to see bloopers and behind the scenes, click the one on the left. If you want to see the previous video, click the one on the right.
And thank you so much to Arden for being in this video and of course, Gregina. Gregina. Greg-a-gina.
It's a new character. Let us know what you want Greg's new character to be in the comments section.
Goodbye!