When it comes to attracting a romantic partner, a new best friend, or even charming the Starbucks
barista into a free latte, science is pretty clear on universal turn-ons.
Whether it be flashing those pearly whites, or jumping out of a plane, these are the things
that make you totally irresistible!
Face it
If you're sitting at a bar, turn toward the person you're interested in.
Leaning in, tilting your head, and pointing your feet toward that person all subconsciously
communicate interest and engagement.
Feeling flushed?
Blushing also signals attraction and gains the attention of the opposite sex.
So if you're going out and planning to mingle, brush on a little blush before you go!
Know yourself
What exactly is self-awareness?
Psychologist Daniel Goleman, author of best-selling book, Emotional Intelligence, proposed the
most popular definition as, "Knowing one's internal states, preferences, resources and
intuitions."
That can also include your needs, desires, failings, habits, preferences, and non-negotiables,
what makes you angry or defensive, and what makes you happy.
Basically, it's the answer to the question, "Who am I?"
Being more self-aware can greatly improve self-confidence, since self-awareness enables
us to clearly see our strengths and weaknesses, allowing us to focus on doing what we're good
at.
This increases our overall sense of confidence — and warm fuzzies.
The real deal
When a person is authentic, they're not afraid to openly be themselves.
They exhibit traits such as having more accurate perceptions of reality, being accepting of
themselves and of other people, being thoughtful, having a non-hostile sense of humor, expressing
their emotions freely and clearly, being open to learning from their mistakes, and understanding
their motivations.
Matchmaker and dating expert Amanda Rose says, "There's something about a person's ability
to be unfiltered and raw that creates connection, [and] when we feel more connected to someone,
the attraction level rises."
So go ahead and let your quirks show!
Vulnerability
When you're able to be vulnerable, you reveal who you really are: the good, the bad, the
strong and the weak.
But really doing it — that takes guts.
Dr. Yvonne Thomas, a Los Angeles-based psychologist whose specialties include relationships and
self-esteem, says that vulnerability makes a person more relatable and human, instead
of coming across as too cold, or too perfect.
University of Houston researcher Brene Brown writes in her best-seller, Daring Greatly,
"Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love
and belonging and joy — the experiences that make us the most vulnerable."
Openness
Marked by creativity, intellect, imagination, and curiosity, open-minded individuals enjoy
learning new things, are inquisitive about the world around them, and are interested
in new experiences.
This doesn't mean you have to go skydiving or become fluent in Mandarin to lock down
a date.
It's all about how curious you are about new things and your willingness to try them.
Empathy
Making a real effort to understand the emotional lives of people who are different from us
helps expand our worldview and become more accepting of those differences.
When we create deeper connections with the people we meet, our interest in others leads
to reciprocated interest — they'll also want to know more about you, and a solid connection
will form.
Giving
The whole point of attracting someone is that you want to share your experiences with them.
It's no surprise, therefore, that being selfish isn't exactly a turn-on.
In fact, the opposite is true.
Studies have shown that people are more attracted to those with a generous spirit.
So get out there, open your heart, and be a giver!
Volunteer to read to senior citizens.
Organize a food drive.
Donate money to charity.
You'll be doing something good for those around you, while looking even better in the process.
Press play
There's an old saying: "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."
So, if you're trying to catch someone's attention, researchers suggest you indulge your sweet,
playful side.
After all, who doesn't want to have more fun?
The next time you're feeling silly, just go with it.
Get down in the dirt, dance in the rain, and throw your head back and really laugh.
You never know who'll gladly join in with you!
Big brains
There are countless movies built on the premise that no one wants to date a nerd.
But maybe those Hollywood producers have it all wrong.
According to actual research, we are scientifically wired to be attracted to intelligent people.
So stop dumbing yourself down!
Dust off your library cards, take your board games and microscopes out from under your
bed, and embrace your big, beautiful brain!
Be yourself
Yes, this stuff is based on real science.
But we're only human, and thankfully, different traits are attractive to different people.
Cultivating qualities like self-awareness, vulnerability, authenticity, openness, and
empathy are beneficial in all facets of life, both personal and professional.
They can help you build a social network of friends you adore, create work you find meaningful,
travel to places that excite you, and seek out experiences that help you grow.
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