- Lots of video game adaptations allow us
to step into the shoes of our childhood heroes.
But there comes a time when we must put away childish things
and move on to adult things.
And by that, I mean the video game adaptations
of the movies you had posters of in your college dorm.
Most of these stories are about broken,
destructive, selfish men who chase a dream
at the expense of everyone that cares for them.
In the film's final moments,
you'll see everything they've built come crashing down
in a karmic implosion.
But until then, it's a heck of a ride.
These movies are special.
These were your first foray into prestige dramas.
And you didn't just see them,
you made them part of your identity.
You bought the posters.
And when your favorite video game publisher
saw them poster sales,
they knew it was time to work their video game magic.
"The Godfather" came out in 1972
and it wasn't long before people started calling it
one of the best movies ever made.
Francis Ford Coppola created this vision
of the criminal underworld that was dangerous
but still classy, like an Aperol Spritz
served in a recalled lead-painted Garfield mug.
While it told the story of a man's
loss of humanity in pursuit of power,
it also created a secret, magical world of tradition
and intrigue hidden within our own,
a sort of Italian crime Hogwarts.
So naturally, people said, "Let me in,"
which is why video games designers gave it
the time and attention it deserved,
not releasing the game for 34 years.
"The Godfather" on PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360
faithfully follows the plot of the first "Godfather" film,
but with the addition of a self-insert, fanfic character
who gumps his way through the most memorable story beats.
They brought back some of the original actors
to reprise their roles so you can you show up,
watch the important people have a conversation,
and occasionally pipe in with something inane
when they look at you, just like real life.
Remember the shock of seeing the horse head in the bed?
What if you got to stand by
and fight the stable guards while Rocco
carved that tasty bit of horse meat off the bone?
Then babysit him through an excruciating stealth mission
as he got it to the the bed?
Remember the gun that Michael finds in the toilet
and then uses to kill McCluskey and Sollozzo?
You get to put that toilet gun in the toilet!
Remember the film's emotional climax
where Michael orders a series of merciless hits
that establish him as a feared and powerful underworld boss
while creating an irreparable rift with his family?
You get to do that!
You're helping!
The whole thing is designed
so that the next time you watch "The Godfather,"
you can just keep pointing at the screen and saying,
"That one's me. I did that."
Each of these experiences fleshes out
and enhances the overall experience of the film.
As series director Francis Ford Coppola puts it,
"I had absolutely nothing to do with the game
and I disapprove.
I think it's a misuse of the film."
Okay, Francis.
Thank you for sharing your opinion,
but have you considered that maybe
you're not the target audience?
The game lets you wear cool hats and suits
and drive fancy cars and shoot a Tommy gun.
Sure, it doesn't reflect the themes of the film,
but it does reflect the themes of the poster,
a cool guy in a tuxedo
saying tough guy lines with no repercussions.
Anyways, "The Godfather" game
gets 10 Indifferent James Caans out of 10.
- Nevermind. Send somebody with 'em.
- "Reservoir Dogs" is a nonlinear masterpiece
about a botched bank robbery that slowly reveals
a violent jigsaw puzzle with half the pieces missing.
But the poster's a lot less confusing.
The video game follows the film closely,
but fills out a lot of those very intentional gaps.
What happens in the gaps?
A lot of driving, cussing,
and because it was 2006, slow-motion shooting.
The only one of the original actors
Eidos could land was Michael Madsen,
so the role of Steve Buscemi's Mr. Pink
is reprised by Weetus Cren.
But the developers didn't just phone it in.
Sure, the game is a kind of janky third-person shooter
paired with a kind of janky driving game,
but they created this interesting crowd control mechanic
that allows you to mitigate unnecessary bloodshed
with careful management of hostages.
Or you could just go hog-wild.
It's kind of neat, I guess, but it wasn't enough
to earn the game positive reviews.
Its scores were stuck in the middle.
That's a Stealer's Wheel reference.
The game definitely has all the knucklehead stuff
that inspired you to buy the poster in the first place.
It's got the cool suits and the cussing, the '70s radio hits
and the Mexican standoffs, the blood splatter.
It's just trying so hard to give you everything you want.
An iconic scene in the film is where
Michael Madsen cuts that cop's ear off,
so they just make that his whole thing.
Like you can just go around doing it whenever you want.
It's like if they made a "Star Wars" game
where you played as Darth Vader
and you can just tell anybody that you're their father.
Unlike "The Godfather," this film
doesn't have a real moral center.
It gets by on its unusual structure
and a collection of genuinely memorable moments,
and lots and lots of style.
Style that the developers of the game
were slavishly dedicated to reproducing.
In the case of "Reservoir Dogs," that style is the legacy.
I give "Reservoir Dogs" a 10 out of 10.
And I do leave a tip.
"The Sopranos" is a crime drama
and a family drama.
Tony Soprano tries to maintain control
of his mafia family and his family-family
and his own deteriorating mental health
as his problems pile up and the noose slowly tightens.
He orders hits, he yells at his kids, he goes to therapy.
The show goes to great lengths to create
this cast of characters who are profoundly broken,
sad and sometimes monstrous.
The game is about just hangin' out with 'em.
Just being their buds.
And folks, the game is bad.
People yell at you, you hit the punch button,
you talk to your ghost dad, rinse, repeat.
You have a ghost dad.
Why?
Because in three frames of the show,
Tony sees an image of a friend
whose death he harbors a lot of guilt about.
It's a metaphorical moment,
but the game asks: What if it were literal?
And there were ghosts?
From the ground-up, the game is about
letting you hang out with these murderous assholes
in screen-accurate recreations
of the show's iconic locations.
Why would a game company think anyone
would want a simulation of getting cussed at
by a bunch of deeply damaged Italian men in a hot deli?
Because people want that.
- Cheeseburger and a vanilla shake.
If it's chocolate you're fuckin' takin' it back. Got it?
- When you go to Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge
you know you're still gonna snap a selfie
with genocidal dad-murderer Kylo Ren
'cause he's got a thick torso and a cool cape.
Nothing that happened in "The Sopranos"
could make us hate Tony enough to stop watching
or take the poster off our wall.
"The Sopranos: Road to Respect"
gets 10 Ghost Dads out of 10.
- Hey, Joey. I'm happy for you, son.
In fact, I'm proud as a fuck.
- Before we move on to the next knucklehead movie adaptation
we need to pour one out for the adaptation
that never happened, the one that got away.
Most of these games are a good degree dumber
than their source material,
but in this case, not a single developer
could figure out how to make that happen,
so the "Boondock Saints" game was never released.
"The Boondock Saints" is like the film adaptation
of the video game adaptation of a Quentin Tarantino movie,
and it could've kept that cycle going on forever
by having its own game.
But the only existing evidence of the game's public debut
is a video posted YouTube user Griffin McElroy.
The teaser begins with remarks from director Troy Duffy.
- I wish I could be there with ya at South by Southwest.
I went there last year. It was awesome.
Got totally drunk. (chuckles)
- We're then treated to some tasteful bagpipe music
and a fly-through of a completely normal Boston back alley
before the title reveal.
Unfortunately, the game never surfaced
and I won't be able to give it a proper review,
so this audience member's commentary will have to suffice.
- [Audience Member] It looks so good.
- "Fight Club" began as a dark novel
about masculine self-destruction,
and David Fincher's film adaptation
added mind-bending effects that challenged the viewer's
perception of reality.
The poster was a bar of soap
and the game was total shit.
In the film, the fights don't matter. It's about struggle.
It's about the feeling of hurting and getting hurt
and feeling anything at all.
There's not a single fight in the film
where one person's martial abilities
determines the course of the plot.
Vivendi Universal took five years
to meditate on the themes of the film
and then produced their adaptation,
a busted-ass "Tekken" game where every single character
is just a different puffy-headed white guy in bootcut jeans.
And that includes Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst.
Nobody's sure why.
Most reviews point to the irony of Vivendi
squirting out a cash-grabby tie-in game to "Fight Club"
given its veneer of anti-consumerism.
They also pointed out that the game fuckin' sucked.
The game's 12 characters share three identical move sets.
They got the likeness rights to Meat Loaf and nobody else,
and all of the fights are weirdly quiet.
Like toxic masculinity ASMR.
(faint electronic music)
(blows dully thud)
It also had a really embarrassing story mode,
and I could try to put its whole vibe into words,
but I'm just gonna show you this clip instead.
(upbeat hip hop music)
(punches crunching)
- Irvin told me to come. I'm looking for Tyler Durden.
- Check inside.
- Fuck off, pretty boy.
- Even if he did know where he was, I couldn't tell you.
- Then give him this message for me: Fuck you.
- I can remember that.
- And fuck you too, pretty boy.
♪ 'Cause I'm pitiful ♪
- What are you lookin' at?
- I'm looking for Tyler Durden.
I give "Fight Club" 10 Quiet Punches out of 10.
"Scarface" is the story of a Cuban refugee
who starts out poor,
hustles his way through the Miami underworld
and briefly experiences wealth and power,
only to become hated by his own family and shot 1,000 times
in front of his own ironically-titled statue.
But the poster is much more black-and-white,
like the game it inspired.
Out of all the games on this list,
"Scarface: The World is Yours"
is probably the most competent.
It's a "GTA" clone where you play as Tony Montana.
You drive. You shoot. You build up a cocaine empire.
Lots of games are already structured
around the gradual accumulation of wealth,
power and toys, so the plot of "Scarface,"
up until Tony's violent death,
can be grafted seamlessly onto a video game.
And about that untimely death:
"Scarface's" handling of the source material is outstanding.
The game completely disregards the authors intent
or a learned reading of the film
and looks at what it actually represents
to the people who bought the poster,
and then it just rewrites the plot to match.
Tony Montana survives.
Dave McKenna, the Hollywood screenwriter
who helped pen the game's story,
originally wanted it to start with Tony
gunning down a roomful of movie execs
for insisting that the bad guy has to die at the end.
From that historical divergence point
it's just pure knucklehead fantasy.
You're driving fast cars
and listening to '80s radio hits and buying speedboats.
There is a completely superfluous text scroll on the screen
of the last body parts you've shot.
You have a Balls meter,
and when you have maximum Balls you can go Super Saiyan.
(gunfire roaring) (men screaming)
"Scarface" the film is yet another story
about a dude trading his soul for wealth and power,
becoming loathed by his family and dying badly,
but people still idolize Tony Montana.
You've got that "Scarface" poster
'cause he went from nothing to something
and he looks good in a suit.
I give "Scarface: The World is Yours" maximum Balls.
- Say hello to my little friend!
- This is a phenomenon we see over and over again
in games and entertainment.
It's the antihero we're supposed to pity
who we end up idolizing.
Maybe it's because we've been given a culture
that valorizes violence and acquisition.
Maybe the problem is that cautionary tales
about dangerous men just don't work.
Why would stories about the dangers of wealth and power
resonate with normal people who will never have the luxury
of experiencing the dangers of wealth and power?
Just about every one of these stories
failed to convince us that our hero was broken,
sad and cruel, but every one of these games
succeeded in giving us exactly what we want:
A playable version of the poster.
(dreamy music)