Well hey there! I'm Emma from mmmEnglish.
Today I'm sharing my top seven tips
for keeping a conversation going in English
and so yes, I am talking about small talk.
It's a super important part of daily life
in an English-speaking country
if you communicate with other English speakers.
But it can be a little bit intimidating,
even native English speakers find themselves feeling
awkward or uncomfortable and wondering
where the conversation is going to go next.
So today we're gonna learn some practical tips
that will help you to survive and to thrive
in any English conversation so
let's get stuck in!
Do you feel like your English speaking skills
are holding you back?
Others aren't really seeing you for who you really are?
Anytime I had to talk with natives I was just so unconfident
because I was afraid of making mistakes
all the time.
Most of the time I read in English and I understand,
I watch the videos with the subtitles
but in that moment to speak,
I felt afraid, I felt shame.
It's time to break free from those negative feelings
and find your English voice with Hey Lady!
We understand the challenges that women face
on their English journey and that's why we're growing
a supportive community of women who are working towards
the same goal:
speaking English with confidence and ease.
From when I joined to today is that chance
to talk with people without fear of judgment.
When we see each other, we're so happy and
we have the opportunity to get to know new people
all the time.
I mean it's really amazing for me,
it's really like a dream come true actually.
Join Hey Lady! today and start living your best life in English.
To find out more look for the link
down in the description below.
So like I said I'm gonna share seven great ways
to boost your English conversation skills
and the first one is to start by making a list
of your favourite things to talk about,
things that you're passionate about or knowledgeable about:
activities, hobbies, projects, ideas,
things that you love and things that excite you.
I'm passionate about drawing and hiking
so I find them really easy to talk about.
I could talk about the beautiful hikes that I've been on
for hours, beautiful parts of the country.
Now if you have a weird or an obscure interest,
maybe you might think that no one else will care about it
but actually the opposite is true.
People will either find it really interesting because it's different
and they didn't know anything about it
or they might even share that they also
have that same interest
and then you'll find yourself engaging really easily
in a meaningful conversation with someone
because you have that same weird interest
so make a list.
It doesn't have to be long,
make sure you read it a few times and that you're
familiar with it so you can
instantly think of that list when you need it,
when you're stuck in a conversation.
So yeah it was a really nice weekend.
That's cool.
Yeah, awesome.
Do you like to go hiking?
Do you know if there's any good hiking trails in the area?
And next time you find yourself stalling in a conversation
instead of freaking out just try to remember that list
and steer the conversation towards one of those topics,
your never-fail topics.
So when the time comes
to start asking questions in a conversation,
ask open questions.
An open question is one that starts with
a WH word like
who,
what,
where, when,
why,
how,
annoyingly it's not a W,
and which.
So open questions are great because they give the other
person a chance to
answer more broadly or more openly,
give more of an answer.
Whereas with closed questions,
the answer is usually just yes or no,
it's difficult to keep going from there.
Is this the line?
Yep.
Is this the queue?
How long have you been waiting?
It's taking a little while but it's moving quicker now.
Can you see how open questions give you more chance
to speak freely?
So instead of saying:
Are you from here?
Say:
Where are you from?
Instead of saying:
Do you like your new job?
Try:
What do you like about your new job?
Now it's not always possible to reframe
a closed question into an open one
but it's one thing to keep in mind when you're practising
English conversation skills.
Open questions tend to lead to more interesting discussion.
Another great way to keep the conversation going is to use
question tags.
This is a really simple technique that you can use to turn
just about any statement into a question.
A question tag is just a two or three word tag that you add
to the end of a statement and it's a great tool
for getting confirmation
or inviting the other person to contribute their thoughts
to a conversation.
It's a beautiful day, isn't it?
You're new here, aren't you?
Question tags follow a pretty simple pattern.
You use the verb from the main statement
so here it's be or is
and we take that verb and we add it to the end of the sentence
together with the same pronoun from the statement.
It's a beautiful day, isn't it?
If the statement is positive then the tag is negative
and vice versa.
We haven't stopped working all week, have we?
I have a whole lesson about question tags, don't I?
You can check it out up here.
In a conversation, you need to show that you're interested
in what the other person is saying.
You have to show that you're listening.
Listening actively shows the other person that you're not just
waiting for your turn to talk
you're actually invested and that you want to hear what they
have to say. That makes them feel good.
So the first thing that you can do is show them
that you're listening with gestures.
Nod your head when you agree with something,
raise your eyebrows when they say something surprising,
react when they say something shocking
and shake your head when you disagree with something.
When your conversation partner sees that you're engaged
and listening they'll want to keep talking.
You can use short affirmations like:
I see.
I know.
Sure.
I understand.
Really?
So I ordered the parts that the customer wanted.
Sure.
But the shipping is going to be really expensive.
Really?
Yeah, I don't know what to do. I think I'm gonna have to
call them back and see if they're okay with that.
Let's see.
Another trick to show that you're actively listening
is to throw out some little echo questions.
So the whole company is going on a team building retreat next
month and I'm really not looking forward to it.
Aren't you?
For starters, my boss is a bit of a creep.
Is he?
Yeah, and some of my colleagues are a little bit weird.
Are they?
So these little phrases are almost like
you're asking for confirmation.
They can also show that what the other person is saying
is surprising or really interesting
so they're kind of similar to question tags.
All you have to do is echo the verb and the pronoun.
Are you?
Did they?
I'm gonna tell you something and then
you try interjecting with an echo question.
My niece is starting kindergarten next week.
Is she?
We went away last weekend.
Did you?
You can also paraphrase to show that you're listening
and this is also a sneaky way of checking
that you understood something correctly like
maybe you didn't quite hear or you didn't quite understand
what they said but instead of freaking out
and saying
"I don't understand"
you can try echoing like this.
So I just got off the phone with Mary. She quit her job.
She quit her job?
Yeah, she quit her job. Apparently her boss is too controlling
so she quit. She's only got a week of work left.
Only one week?
Yeah only one week and then she goes on annual leave.
That's crazy!
I know right?
You can literally just repeat what the other person said.
It's very common.
Or you can repeat what you think they said
and they will probably say the same thing back to you
and then maybe add a little bit more detail.
So it's a useful tool, it makes for fun, engaging
conversations.
Practising these active listening skills
will help you to get that
natural back and forth rhythm of a conversation going.
It's a really great essential skill to practise.
My next tip for advanced speaking practice is actually
to not speak at all.
Let them do the talking.
Don't be afraid of that silence. Awkward silence.
Too often we just blurt out whatever thing we can
think of because we're afraid of that silence
but the chances are
the other person is also worried about that silence
and you can take advantage of that. You can sit back,
you can let them fill in the silence.
Let them come to the conversation.
How's this weather, hey?
Yeah, it's been raining all day.
Now I feel like this one is kind of obvious
but I'm gonna say it anyway.
Practise, practise, practise!
Get out into the world and start having conversations
with real people.
Chat to the checkout person at your supermarket.
Talk to your neighbour
or the person sitting next to you on the tram.
The more practice that you get,
the easier it will become.
And of course, you can join an online speaking community,
a community just like Hey Lady!
where you can show up regularly,
get as much speaking practice as you need,
immerse yourself amongst other English speakers
and really develop those conversation skills in a natural,
organic way.
And last of all,
memorise some expressions that are
useful in English conversations.
I have a few videos that introduce a whole bunch
of really useful common expressions
that come up all the time in English conversations.
One's linked up here
but learning, studying, remembering, using
these expressions regularly help them to sink into your mind
so that you can always draw on them when you need them.
Phrases for starting a conversation like:
What have you been up to lately?
Or:
How was your weekend?
Or any comment to do with the weather
and then learn some simple expressions for
ending a conversation like:
I better keep moving.
Or:
It was nice chatting.
At a bare minimum,
having these phrases ready to go should help you out
anytime you need them.
So there you have it!
You've got some great new tools for helping you to talk
in English, to keep a conversation going
and if you want to learn some of the exact expressions
and phrases to use in different situations
make sure you check out one of these lessons next.
Thanks for joining me today.
I'll see you in the next lesson!