today we're going to be talking about how some of the things that you're doing
to try and manage your anxiety are actually making your anxiety worse
hi everyone today we're going to be talking about safety behaviors which are really important
factors that contribute to making anxiety worse but which most people don't know about and most
people don't really understand but before i get into that just a couple of disclaimers to go over
i'm a registered psychologist in the province of british columbia canada and this video is for
informational purposes only it is not intended as a substitute or replacement for advice from your
doctor or mental health professional now with those things out of the way let's start talking
about safety behaviors now in previous videos i've talked about how avoidance maintains anxiety and
the importance of exposure and exposure therapy is a way of overcoming anxiety conditions
and once you understand it exposure actually makes a lot of sense and is something that a
lot of people know about as we commonly refer to it as facing our fears so exposure therapy
in theory can make a lot of sense and a lot of people can understand it however there's another
major factor that tends to drive and maintain anxiety and it's something that's called safety
behaviors and one way of thinking about safety behaviors is that these behaviors are are more
subtle forms of avoidance that people will engage in to try and reduce their anxiety
essentially safety behaviors are anything that a person does in order to help make themselves
feel safer but without having any substantial impact on actually making them any safer and
you'll find safety behaviors in all of the anxiety disorders and sometimes they can be
subtle and not obviously related to the anxiety itself so some examples if i have a fear of
driving i may meet leave more space between me and the car in front of me because it feels safer to
have an eight car length buffer if i have panic disorder i may stop drinking coffee because i
know it gets my heart rate going quickly and if it gets going too quickly i might have a panic attack
i might avoid wearing bright or flashy clothes if i have social anxiety if i have health anxiety i
may research symptoms of rare conditions to see if uh if that might relate to me
so i think you get the point there's all sorts of things that people can do
to try and help themselves feel safer depending on whatever type of anxiety they have
but you may also be wondering well what's the big deal about this so what if if i'm doing
these things and it makes me feel safer what's so wrong with that so what if i'm not wearing
flashy clothes so what if i'm leaving more space between me and other cars what's the big deal
about that if it makes me feel better isn't the whole point to feel safe and
if i'm feeling safe won't that help reduce my anxiety those are all very good points but that's
exactly the way anxiety would like you to think and so to explain the problem of safety behaviors
i like to use a metaphor with my clients and this metaphor is the rock that keeps the aliens away
so suppose i have this terrible fear of aliens terrified that every time i leave my house i'm
gonna get abducted by aliens and they're gonna take me out into space probe me do all sorts of
unspeakable things to me and that's a terrifying thought i'm absolutely terrified of that
now suppose one day i come across a rock and for whatever reason i believe that this rock has
magical powers that helps keep aliens away and as long as i carry that rock with me
i'm protected from aliens they won't come down and get me and i'll be perfectly safe
so every time i leave my house i carry the rock with me and lo and behold i never get abducted
by aliens well what will my conclusion be in that situation well the conclusion is the rock
must be keeping me safe right it's got to be the rock the rock is what's helping protect me
now suppose one day i leave my house and i happen to be preoccupied before i walk out the front door
and i forget the rock and i go about my day doing my daily activities and when i come home
i realized that i had left the rock at home and i'd gone out about my day without it
well at first this may freak me out and i might think to myself that i really dodged
one this time and that thankfully the aliens weren't patrolling our solar system that day
however this may also get me thinking that it seems a bit unusual that i wasn't abducted
even though i didn't have the rock so maybe what i do is a little experiment in bravery
and i decide to go out the next day without the rock and see what happens so i go out
the next day without the rock and once again i i don't get abducted
so i do this a third time and a fourth time and a fifth time and i keep doing this again and again
and again leaving the house without the rock by the thousandth time i've left my house without
the rock and i don't get abducted what do you think has happened to my fear of being abducted by
aliens well it's likely going to be pretty low i'm probably not going to be all that fearful of being
abducted by aliens because i've had all of these experiences leaving my house without the rock
and nothing bad happened i wasn't abducted by the aliens even though i didn't have the rock
so you see the problem with carrying around the rock is that the rock actually maintained
my fear of aliens because as long as i was carrying around the rock with me i could
never know whether it was the rock that was keeping the aliens away and keeping me safe
or if it was the fact that there aren't aliens and that i don't have to be afraid of aliens
the rock doesn't have any magical powers it's not keeping me safe
but as long as i carry that rock with me i'm behaving away and subconsciously telling myself
that there is danger and threat that i am at risk of being abducted
but once i stopped carrying the rock i come to learn that i don't actually have to be afraid
of aliens and that the rock is just a rock so you see this is the problem of safety behaviors
safety behaviors are those rocks that keep aliens away
safety behaviors maintain anxiety because by engaging in the safety behaviors you don't
allow yourself to know what's keeping you safe is it the safety behavior that's keeping you safe or
is it the fact that the world isn't dangerous and isn't as scary as the anxiety is telling you it is
but by engaging in the safety behaviors you're maintaining and fueling your anxiety
without even knowing it because you're behaving as if there's something to be fearful of
the safety behaviors represent an underlying message that you're telling yourself without even
knowing that you're telling yourself those things so the take-home point of all of this is that not
everything that makes you feel safe is actually making you safe it is actually a good thing so
when i'm working with my clients on helping reduce their anxiety we don't just focus on exposure to
the feared situations we also focus on exposure with dropping those safety behaviors as well
so i hope that makes sense i hope that gives you a better sense of safety behaviors and the role
that safety behaviors play in anxiety i'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas about this so
please leave me some comments in the comments section down below if you've been enjoying my
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you for making it all the way to the end of this video and i will see you in the next one