( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY!
JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN.
FRIDAY NIGHT!
IT JON, JON, JON.
JON, JON, JON.
I'M READY FOR SPRING, MAN.
I AM READY FOR SPRING TO GET HERE.
I'VE HAD IT WITH WINTER.
>> Jon: OH, YEAH, YEAH.
I'M READY FOR SPRING TO SPRING.
>> Stephen: I LIKE THE SPARKLES AROUND THE NECK, MAN.
>> Jon: OH, YEAH, YOU HAVE TO SHINE AND GLISTEN LIKE THE STAR
YOU ARE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: TONIGHT, MY
FRIEND, WE HAVE THE LOVELY, THE TALENTED, THE WONDERFUL AIDY
BRYANT FROM "S.N.L." IS GOING TO BE HERE TONIGHT.
( APPLAUSE )
SUCH A LOVELY PERSON.
FOLKS, I LOVE TO STAY ON TOP OF ALL THE LATEST TECH TRENDS.
IT'S ONE WAY TO AVOID MY CHILDREN MAKING FUN OF ME.
AND FOR A WHILE NOW, ONE OF THE HOTTEST TECH TRENDS HAS BEEN
N.F.T.s, OR NON-FUNGIBLE TOKENS.
IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT IN JUST ONE YEAR, WE'VE GONE FROM
HAVING NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE TO HAVING NO IDEA WHY THEY ARE.
( LAUGHTER )
N.F.T.s ARE DIGITAL ASSETS THAT YOU CAN BUY, AND YOUR
OWNERSHIP IS ENCODED IN A BLOCKCHAIN-ENCRYPTED PROOF OF
PURCHASE.
THEN I THINK IF YOU COLLECT ENOUGH PROOF OF PURCHASES, YOU
CAN CUT THEM OUT, SEND THEM INTO KELLOGG'S, AND THEY'LL MAIL YOU
A CEREAL BOWL SHAPED LIKE A BASEBALL CAP.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
BUT UNDERSTAND THEM OR NOT, N.F.T.s HAVE BECOME THE HOTTEST
COMMODITY IN THE ART WORLD.
FOR INSTANCE, THIS N.F.T. OF A BORED APE IN A PROPELLER BEANIE
RECENTLY SOLD FOR $3.4 MILLION, BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT ART
COLLECTORS WANT.
SORRY, VAN GOGH, MAYBE YOUR NEXT SELF-PORTRAIT SHOULD
ACCESSORIZE.
( LAUGHTER )
MULTI-MILLION-DOLLAR N.F.T.s.
THERE WAS THIS ONE THAT SOLD FOR $11.8 MILLION; THIS ONE, BOUGHT
BY A GROUP OF INVESTORS FOR OVER 90 MILLION; AND THIS
ANIMATED ONE, BOUGHT FOR $3.8 MILLION, TITLED "SOME (BLEEP)."
NAMED, OF COURSE, FOR WHOEVER BOUGHT IT.
WITH SO MUCH MONEY IN THE N.F.T.
MARKET, IT'S NO SURPRISE THAT IT'S ATTRACTED A NEW GENERATION
OF ART THIEVES.
RECENTLY, SCAMMERS STOLE $1.7 MILLION WORTH OF N.F.T.s.
AND WITH N.F.T. THEFT ON THE RISE, IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME
UNTIL HOLLYWOOD TURNS IT INTO A BLOCKBUSTER HEIST MOVIE.
AND THAT MATTER OF TIME IS NOW.
>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU PROBABLY KNOW WHY I BROUGHT YOU
HERE.
YOU'RE THE PICASSOS STEALING PICASSOS, EACH WITH A UNIQUE
SKILL-- DEMOLITIONS, SAFE CRACKING, DISGUISE, LADY WHO
SNEAKS UNDER LASERS, AND K-POP STAR TO BULK UP OUR
INTERNATIONAL BOX OFFICE.
BUT STEALING PAINTINGS IS A THING OF THE PAST.
THERE'S NO MONET IN MONET.
NO DOUGH IN VAN GOGH.
WHAT THE ( BLEEP ).
THESE DAYS, THE REAL MONEY IS ON THE INTERNET.
WE ARE GOING TO STEAL THE WORLD'S MOST-VALUABLE N.F.T.
OF NONFUNGIBLE TOKENS, DIGITAL GRAPHICS LOCKED BEHIND
HIGH-SECURITY CRYPTOGRAPHY.
>> IT'S LIKE AN EXPENSIVE PICTURE ON THE COMPUTER?
>> KIND OF.
>> IT'S LIKE A GIFT YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR.
>> BASICALLY.
>> LIKE A JPEG ANYONE CAN LOOK AT WHENEVER THEY WANT TO, ONE
PERSON PAYS FOR IT.
>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO THE INTERNET'S
MOST VALUABLE MASTERPIECE.
>> SO WHERE DO WE COME IN?
>> DEMOLITION, SAFE CRACKER, GOOGLE WHAT THE BLOCK CHAIN IS.
KPOP, LASER ACROBAT.
GO LISTEN TO SOME PODCAST.
MEET YOUR NEWEST TEAM MEMBER, THE WORLD'S TOP N.F.T. FORGER.
RIGHT CLICK, COPY, AND PASTE.
DONE.
>> MY GOSH, IT'S AN EXACT COPY.
>> $280 MILL FOR ONE LITTLE PICTURE, AND IT'S ABOUT TO BE
OURS.
>> I'LL BE OVER HERE SHOWING THESE REM BRANTS.
ANY LAST QUESTIONS?
>> YEAH, I GUESS, LIKE, WHAT IS THIS ALL MEAN?
>> WE JUST-- >> I MEAN, WHAT DOES IT SAY
ABOUT US AS A SOCIETY?
AND WHAT ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENTAL COST?
THE ENERGY CONSUMPTION.
>> ALL RIGHT, STOP RIGHT THERE.
( LAUGHTER )
POSITION BETWEEN ACTIVE SUBVERSION AND STATUS SYMBOL
COLLECTED BY THOSE WHO PROFIT FROM THE VERY STATUS QUO THE ART
PURPORTS TO SUBVERT.
>> I HATE THIS!
IT'S LIKE HAVING TO LEARN THE METAVERSE ALL OVER AGAIN.
>> ON FART BEAVER YOU CAN BUY DIFFERENT HATS.
EVERYBODY STAY CALM.
DON'T THINK TOO MUCH, AND WE CAN EACH WALK OUT OF HERE WITH
MILLIONS ( BELL RINGS )
SORRY.
DAMN IT.
BUBBLE BURST.
IT'S ALL WORTHLESS NOW.
WAIT, HEY, HEY.
NOBODY LEAVE.
WAIT, COME BACK.
LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT DOGECOIN
>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK