Markiplier: *Moves the camera about* Shweeeeuuuu...
*EPIC SONG BY MARK*
Momiplier: ... Hi, everybody!
Momiplier: *laughs* *both laugh*
Markiplier: *sigh* That was adorable.
Markiplier: Alright, okay. Hello!
How are you, Mother?
Momiplier: I'm fine.
Markiplier: You know how I call you "Mother."
So ... What'cha tryna do here?
Momiplier: I'm gonna make Markiplier's nails.
Markiplier: Yay!
*both laugh*
Markiplier: So, uhhh ---
I don't know why I have this. I have this little thing.
And, I haven't had a chance to use it yet. So, uhhh ...
It exists!
And, it's a little gyroscopically stable --No one
cares. I want to put this down for now,
and just -- Right there! Don't move!
Markiplier: Hello, everybody! My name is Markiplier
and I'm here with my Mom. Say hi!
Momiplier: Hi! I'm Markiplier's mom!
Markiplier: Also -- Y-You have a real name. Momiplier: That's
my name. Mark: That's your real name!
Markiplier: Momiplier! Momiplier: *repeats* Momiplier ... Markiplier: *repeats again* Momiplier!
*both say "yeah"*
Markiplier: So uh, she is learning to do nails. And, she's
really good at it, apparently!
Like -- Like, uhhh ... A-Astonishing!
Momiplier: I've only been doing for a month.
Markiplier: Yeah, let me get a close up on that. Nice ...
Momiplier: This is my second try!
Markiplier: Oh, I don't think -- I-I-I think that might be a lie --
Momiplier: No, no! True!
Markiplier: Second try?
Momiplier: Second try!
Markiplier: You've sent me tons of pictures!
Momiplier: Nooo! Markiplier: N-No ...
Momiplier: But, I mean, second try on a whole -- Markiplier: Oh! Ohhh. Momiplier: Ten fingers. Markiplier: I gotcha.
*winks* Winkidy winkidy wink.
Momiplier: Well, it only would have been ... one month.
Markiplier: Okay, so um. But, you
are gonna do me the great honor of, uh ... --
Momiplier: Yeah! Markiplier -- doing these horrid nails!
Momiplier: Okay, I'm gonna try make Markiplier ...
Momiplier: *picks object up* ... face on his --
Markiplier: "Markiflier?"
Momiplier: *chuckles* "Markiflier?" Markiplier: "Markiflier?" Momiplier: Oh, yeah? Markiplier: Yeah ... Momiplier: -- Markiplier-piler's face on uh, his fingernails.
Markiplier: On my fingernails!
Yeah ... Momiplier: That's fine. I practice all day.
Markiplier: So, what is the first step in doing any good nails?
Momiplier: Well, uh. Let me just some, uhm ... Little simple manicure --
Markiplier: Okay. Momiplier: -- on your nail.
You know what? It's only been a month, so I might forgot
a few steps. Markiplier: Mhm. Momiplier: If there's a professional
nail technician there, pardon me.
Markiplier: Oh, I-I think you can just -- Mom: Okay, forgive me. *chuckles*
Markiplier: You can just boss your way through this one. You don't need to
apologize for anything.
You're already better than all of them
out there! Momiplier: Oh, c'mon! I'm not that good ...
Markiplier: No, no! If you're gonna be Momiplier, you have to bombastically claim that you're better than everybody
Even if you're not.
Momiplier: Oh, really?
Markiplier: I learned it from you, right?
Momipier: First -- Markiplier: Ah, oww!
Momiplier: I'm gonna torture you.
Markiplier: Oww. Momiplier: That's the first step. Markiplier: What the heck is that?
Momiplier: I have to make room, dear. Markiplier: It hurts! Momiplier: Yeah I know. Markiplier: Owww, ahah ...
Ahowwww! Momiplier: Oh goodness gracious! A tight fit! *mimics Markiplier's pained noises*
Alright, that's enough. Markiplier: No, no! If you gotta do
it, go ahead and do it. Momiplier: No, I'm done!
Markiplier: Oh! Done already? Momiplier: Yeah, I think I'm done. Markiplier: That's how good you are!
Momiplier: Okay. We're gonna do a little
filing, I think. Markiplier: Mhmm.
Ehhhh! What if my nails just start
bleeding horribly from all this abuse?
Momiplier: Then, I need to stop and call 911.
Markiplier: Really? It-It'd be that extreme?
Momiplier: Yeah.
Might cause you to have dangerous infection..going into the nail
Mark: ... o_o Ohhh ... That sounds terrible
Momiplier: So, if you are good nail technician, is supposed to
not puncture or tear any of your
nails. Markiplier: Didn't know that it was such a
dangerous job getting your nails done. Momiplier: It is.
Mark: So, what is that? Momiplier: We're just going to make a
nail that's clean, nice and clean, for nail polish.
Markiplier: Okay. Momiplier: This is kinda awkward for -- You should sit here.
Markiplier: How can I sit there, I'd be -- I'd be right in the way.
Momiplier: That's all right. Make my life a little harder
Markiplier: Yeah, but that's -- That's pretty much what I've
been doing since I got born, right? Momiplier: Yeah,
ever since you were born. Do you know how much you weighed?
Markiplier: I'm well aware. Why don't you tell them? Momiplier: You weighed
ten pounds, three ounces. Markiplier: Ten pounds, three
ounces. Momiplier: And also, because I didn't know
any better ... Markiplier: Uh-huh.
Momiplier: ... I went naturally. Markiplier: Oh, no ... Momiplier: No "Epidural."
Markiplier: No. Momiplier: You know why? Markiplier: Why?
Momiplier: Because, I didn't know anything about
their Epidural. I thought everybody went
just naturally. Markiplier: I-I-I thought you would've learned
your lesson by the time my brother was
born, and when it came to me. Momiplier: Oh, your brother
was a lot smaller. Markiplier: By a lot smaller, he was
still nine pounds. Momiplier: Nooo! He was only seven pounds.
Markiplier: No, he was nine. Momiplier: No! Seven. Markiplier: That's what
I've been told my whole life; that he was nine pounds.
Momiplier: No, I think your father lied.
Markiplier: Ohhh ... Momiplier: To make you feel a little less bad.
Markiplier: Oh. Oh. Why would he feel bad? Momiplier: Oh, you were big boy and he's a
little ... little less big, so maybe --
Markiplier: This is a revelation. That's like, twenty-seven years
of my life is unraveling, because I've always --
Momiplier: But, that's the truth! Your brother was seven
pounds, and ... you were ten, three. Markiplier: I was a big baby.
Do you have any embarrassing stories to
tell about me as a child?
Momiplier: Embarrassing story? Markiplier: Yeah, embarassing stories about me
as a child. Momiplier: Never.
You were perfect baby. Markiplier: *makes a face* I don't think that's
true at all. Momiplier: That's true.
Markiplier: No! Momiplier: You neverrr -- Oh, this the only thing. You were too big. Markiplier: Too big.
Yeah, you keep reiterating. Momiplier: Other than that, you were perfect. You never hardly cry.
Markiplier: Uh-huh. Momiplier: You always smile. Markiplier: Uh huh. Momiplier: It's true! Markiplier: Oh, okay. All right, then!
I smile and poop my pants, but y'know. That's okay. Momipier: No, you always smile.
Happy.
Markiplier: Oh, that's nice. I was a perfect baby. I-I just -- I
came into this world saying, "Hello,
everybody! My name is Markiplier! Thank you. Momiplier: Markiplier, that's
exactly what you do. Markiplier: *laughs* Momiplier: Seriously! Markiplier: Yeah, what about as a toddler?
Momiplier: Nope. Markiplier: Was I? Momiplier: Perfect! Markiplier: Perfect? Momiplier: Always smiling, yeah.
Markiplier: *amazed* Always? Momiplier: I think it take only one day for potty train.
Markiplier: Oh, oh! Momiplier: One day. Markiplier: I was a genius? Momiplier: Do you know how
old you were when you started walking?
Markiplier: How old? Momiplier: Five months. Markiplier: What?! Momiplier: Not walking.
That might be lying, but when you stand up--
Markiplier: *nods* Yeah. Momiplier: -- against ... coffee table. Try to take a
step? That was five months old!
Markiplier: Whoa! You hear that, guys? *chuckles* I was a strong baby!
Momiplier: You were very strong. Markiplier: Yeah. Smart too, I bet. Right? *looks around nervously*
Momiplier: I didn't know you were that smart. Markiplier: Oh. Momiplier: But, I know you were a
good baby.
Markiplier: Good baby.
That's a good baby right there. That's a good baby.
Momiplier: Now, let's plot. What color is this? Markiplier: Green. Momiplier: Beauty.
Markiplier: Ohh. That looks nice. Momiplier: You are blue color. Markiplier: Mhm. Momiplier: Ooo, nice! Markiplier: So, what are other
things from when I was a child, should ... *should*
everyone out there know? Momiplier: Oh! Well, how I
conceived you, is a story.
Markiplier: Yeah, I wasn't supposed to be born. Momiplier: It's the
Christmas time, so nobody will believe
what I say. I might -- They might say I'm
lying. but it's true story. Markiplier: Uh huh, I wasn't supposed
to be born. Momiplier: You weren't supposed to be. Markiplier: No, no. Two different types
of contraception.
Momiplier: Well, after I had it -- Your first ... My first
child (which is Thomas,) -- Markiplier: Uh-huh ... Momiplier: -- I decided, "I'm not
gonna have another one. " It was so hard. Markiplier: Uh-huh ... Momiplier: So,
I was taking ... you know, precaution. Markiplier: Uh-huh ...
And then one day, out of blue, I suddenly began to get the symptoms
of this terrible headache,
and I decide to see a gynecologist. Markiplier: Uh-huh ...
Momiplier: And he said, "Well, because you are taking birth
control pill that might cause you to have a high blood pressure." Markiplier: Ahhh ... Momiplier: So, he advised I had to stop taking birth control pill --
Markiplier: Ahhh ... Momiplier: -- and use another contraceptive. Markiplier: Uh-huh ... Momiplier: I asked,
"I was only 22." Markiplier: Mhm. Momiplier: "What can I do?! I want to make sure
that I don't get pregnant."
Well, there's such a thing as a condom.
You can use condom and spermicide. Markiplier: Mhm.
Guess what? We used both. Markiplier: Mm. Momiplier: Guess what? Markiplier: Whaaa ...
I got pregnant that ... month. Markiplier: Uh-huh ... Momiplier: That was you.
Markiplier: Yeah, I know. I'm a miracle baby. Or, a curse!
Momiplier: No, wasn't a curse. Markiplier: *blows on nails*
Momiplier: Wow, look at that! Pretty colors.
Markiplier: So nice, yeah. It's good stuff.
Where's more? More, more.
Momiplier: More?
So, let's try ... eyeballs.
That's very important. Markiplier: Well, supposedly.
Momiplier: Expression eyeballs. Markiplier: I'm ready.
Momiplier: Ooo ... I wanna make sure it's perfect! Two dots.
Markiplier: Well, here. I'll go this way for you.
Momiplier: Okay. You need perfect! Markiplier: Perfect. Momiplier: I need to have perfect dots.
Markiplier: This is super important.
Momiplier: Yeah. If I don't -- If I mess this one --
Markiplier: I'm going to fire you.
Momiplier: Yeah, you better not pay me.
Markiplier: I'm never coming home. Momiplier: Yeah, you're not gonna be my
next customer. Markiplier: No, you'll never get
another customer. Momiplier: Oh, shoot. Markiplier: This is high-stakes.
Momiplier: Oh my god. Let's -- Let's pray for this two dot. All right. Needed two dot.
Ooh, you have a small nail bed.
One ...
Two ...
Markiplier: Oh, it looks *so* perfect. Momiplier: *laughs* MarkpIier: I am *impressed.* Nice!
Nailed it! *hand gesture*
Momiplier: That's pretty good! Markiplier: That's pretty good! It's pretty good!
Momiplier: Yeah. Markiplier: Whew! Nerve-racking, right?
Momiplier: Yeah, woo- hoo. Whew, that's nervous.
Markiplier: Yeah. Your whole career depended on those two dots.
Momiplier: Yes. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.
Markiplier: Y-You ... You did good. I think you did good.
Momiplier: Okay, now we're gonna put eyeballs -- *laughs* *indistinct*
We're gonna wait later and it dry a little bit, okay?
Markiplier: Okay, all right.
Momiplier: How about some of this -- *hand gestures*
What is this called? Markiplier: Eyebrows? Momiplier: Eyebrows!
Mark: Eyebrows! Gotta be perfect. Momiplier: Gotta be perfect.
Markiplier: Just like everything else here, gotta be perfect.
Momiplier: Yeah. One mistake, you're done. Markiplier: Mhm. Momiplier: Okay.
Markiplier: This is a high stakes thing. More stressful
than Five Nights at Freddy's.
Momiplier: Okay. Very stressful.
Okay ...
Markiplier: Boo!
Momiplier: Oh no, don't scare me.
One upside-down eyebrow.
How's that? Markiplier: Aw, that's good. Oh,
that's good. Oh, that's real good.
Markiplier: Oh, that's good -- Momiplier: Is that good? Markiplier: Yeah, that's good. Momiplier: Yeah, okay. Markiplier: That's pretty
good. I gotta admit, that's pretty good.
Momiplier: Okay. One more thing, and I'm gonna try is your mustache
I don't have pink. I'm going to use red.
Markiplier: Okay, all right. Red's okay. Again, whole career is
riding on this. Momiplier: Yeah, I'm gonna use the
spine brush.
Markiplier: Okay, I'm ready. Momiplier: Ooo! Markipler: Ah! Ahhh! Momiplier: Haha, oh. Okay, this is
very critical.
Oneeeee more. ... Ah-haaahaha.
Momiplier: Everything -- Markiplier: Awww, that's pretty good. That's pretty
good. That's not bad. Momiplier: What do you think? Markiplier: That's not bad. Momiplier: Not bad? Markiplier: That's good.
Momiplier: Like it?
Markiplier: That's good. Momiplier: How 'bout your hair? Markipler: I like it. Hey, is there room
for hair? Momiplier: Yeah. *softly* Just a little bit of red here. ... How's that?
Markiplier: Ohhh, that's cute. Momiplier: *chuckles* Markiplier: That's cute!
Markiplier: Awww, that's cuuute. Momiplier: Oh! Okay, one last one. One last one.
Markiplier: Yeah. Momiplier: Your eyeball. *boing, boing!* Okay! *laughs loudly* Markiplier: Awww, that's awesomeee.
That's awesome! You did it!
Momiplier: *continues laughing loudly* *claps underneath the table* Hoorayyy! Markiplier: You've got a career yet!
You can do it! Momiplier: Then, I'm going to let it dry a
little bit. Then, I'm gonna put ... top coat!
Markiplier: Ohhh, it's lovely. It's really lovely. I-I ruined
the other nails. I've touched my hands a
bunch -- Momiplier: That's okay. Markiplier: But uh, this is the
most important. Markiplier: This is the important one, yeah? Momiplier: This is --
We just ... take care of later, 'kay? Markiplier: Yeah. You've
got dreams!
Momiplier: ... No, I'm pretty sure I missed two steps here,
but uh ... Markiplier: Uh-huh ... No no. Momiplier: I'm still learning. Markiplier: No. Uh ... Best I've ever seen.
Probably the best in the world, if I had
to imagine. Momiplier: Oh, c'mon. Markiplier: Yeah, the best I've
ever seen.
Momiplier: *kekekekeke* * tugs on her son's ear* I'm still going to bill you! *chuckles* Markiplier: Aghhh! Then again, I've never seen
anyone else do nails before, so best
I've ever seen.
Momiplier: Yeah. Markiplier: Not bad for five minutes. Momiplier: Not bad. Markiplier: Pretty good, I
like it. So, anyway! That -- This has been my
mother. Not as many embarrassing stories
as I thought there were going to be. I thought there were
going to be many more
embarrassing stories than that, but maybe when
we play video games together, you'll hear
some more. So, thank you, Mom, for being here.
Be on the lookout for a "Son Oaks" beauty
parlor down the road. Momiplier: No no no no. Markiplier's M-Mom beauty parlor -- *both laugh*
Momiplier: *facepalms* Fail. Markiplier: Have to get the "Markiplier" in there,
so people know. Momiplier: "Markipler's Mom's Nail Salon." *chuckles* Markiplier: Well,
when you open your nail salon,
I'm sure everybody's going to want to stop by!
Momiplier: Yeah -- Markiplier: ... RIGHT? Momiplier: -- Because your name on top! RIGHT -- *both laugh*
Markiplier: It's not just about *my* name. *short chuckle* *hand gestures* "Momiplier's Nail
Salon." Momiplier: *shakes head* No ...
Markiplier: I-I want to see fanart of the -- the, what
it's gonna look like, when people -- Can you
give uh -- give us a little like sketch; a
quick MS Paint sketch of the storefront
and the lovely i-i-interior, and all that
stuff. Momiplier: *gleeful chuckle* Markiplier: And, we'll get an idea of what your
dream is gonna come -- be-become like in the future
*both say "yeah"* Momiplier: That's my goal. Markiplier: Sounds good. Momiplier: That's my dream. Markiplier: Yeah.
You're making a lot of progress for just
doing it for a month.
Momiplier: Yeah. *shows off her fabulous nails on camera* Markiplier: So uh, anyway. Thank you. *murmurs* Oh yeah. *points to Momiplier's nails* And, these. And, thank you
everybody so much for watching!
Be on the lookout for the game video
very soon. And as always, we will see you in
The next video. *both chuckle and wave to the camera* Markiplier: Buh-bye!
That's good! That was really good! Momiplier: Was it good? Markiplier: That's good! Momiplier: *happy smile* Okay ... Markiplier: *fades out* That was really good ...