- Am I a better lover than who you're currently with?
Be honest.
- Oh.
No (chuckles).
- I'm Dan. - And I'm Shannon.
We met 10 years ago.
I think I had a dating ad and you answered it.
- Oh, it was a dating ad, yeah.
- I think for two or two and a half years.
- Yeah.
All right.
When did you know it was over?
- I just think as soon as I knew for sure that
the physical romantic chemistry just wasn't there for me,
it seemed to be there for you but not me,
I just didn't feel like the way you smelled
just feels like you're my brother, so.
Do I ever pop into your head when you're masturbating?
- (smacks lips) Not anymore, but,
I have a pile of porn I could look at which we both do.
- Yeah, I did like a self--
- Those things archived on a hard drive
that she doesn't even know.
(chuckles)
What was your favorite slash least favorite thing
that I did to you in bed?
- You last a long time, like that's great in a guy.
You can last a long time.
And so that was great, but the chemistry wasn't there,
so I didn't even want you to last.
Like let's just get this over with.
- That's torture.
- Oh (chuckles).
Describe our first date.
- We ate pizza and she didn't look at me
for basically the whole date until maybe
the end when she was like, "I gotta go."
- I didn't look at you because I was partly in a bad mood
and partly cuz when I first saw you I thought,
"Oh no, I can't date this guy."
(chuckles)
Cuz I thought, "He's just gonna feel like he's my brother,
"I can't date this guy."
- I dare you to take a body shot off me.
- What's a body shot?
What is that, when we put the thing on your body?
I don't get it.
(chuckles)
- Well can I put it in his hand and then just
slurp it out of his hand like I'm an animal?
(chuckles)
(slurps)
Ooh. - This is pretty fun.
We should have done this before (laughing).
- Oh my God. - Oh yeah.
- Did you ever cheat on me and if you did why?
(scoffs softly)
- I should have, but no. - You should have, it's true.
Cuz you were deprived of, yeah.
Do what?
Oh.
Did I?
I don't think so.
No, I didn't see anybody when I was with you, did I?
- Yeah.
- Am I blocking that out?
No seriously, I'm not trying to--
- Yes.
Okay there was this one time where she was like,
"I'm hanging out with my friend."
Oh, there's some pictures.
Oh, there's a penis and she's touching it in this picture.
- Well that's for my website.
- No it wasn't.
- He actually wanted me to take photos of him.
I know he was partly doing it cuz he was attracted to me
and he wanted to do that with me.
And I wasn't really into it, I just did it for him.
But I didn't enjoy it.
I feel weird about that.
I didn't really enjoy that-- - I understand.
- Very much-- - Yeah, I know.
Do you still love me?
- Aw.
- When I first felt like I loved you, it was like a brother,
so now it still is, but now it feels better
because now I don't feel guilty.
- We definitely still love each other and you're right,
it's better to not have a relationship.
- Yeah.
Did you ever keep a secret during our relationship,
and if so, what was it?
(chuckles)
- I...
Okay.
What did your friends and parents think of me?
- Oh.
(chuckling)
My parents sort of had a little bit of judgements
towards you, a little bit like, I think my mom or dad
said, "Is he a little bit autistic, or is he a little bit?"
(chuckles)
Cuz you were really into computer programming
and you're really good at that and you kind of sleep
at odd times so you're one of these like idiot savant
kind of people.
What do you think I should change about myself
for my next relationship?
- Accepting the flaws of the person you're in
a relationship with.
- Hm.
- Aw, what do you miss most about us?
- Oh, the goofiness, you have like a goofy,
cuz like the guy I'm dating now, he's a great guy,
he has a great sense of humor, but it's more of a
dark sense of humor whereas your sense of humor,
well you're dark but you're so goofy.
So I'm grateful that we're friends and that
you were willing to even do this cuz I think some people
would not wanna do this (chuckles).
- Yeah, I hope we stay friends for a long time,
actually.
(glasses clink)
(classical music)
- Oh, wow.