Brainy Dose Presents: The Biggest Regrets People Have Later In life
Choices are a part of life; they can be insignificant, or they can be life-changing,
but either way, most of them come with a degree of uncertainty - which is why choices can be
so hard to make. And, you can never know ‘what might have been’ if you had chosen differently.
There's always a chance that you'll end up regretting a choice you made - whether
it seemed like a simple one, which turned out to be much more complicated,
or a difficult one from the start. The biggest regrets in life, though,
often have a much greater scope - regretting not a single moment but how life itself was lived.
Here's a list of things people end up regretting the most.
Working Too Much
Working too much at the expense of having a healthy personal life is one of the
most common regrets people have. Working hard isn't a bad thing,
and putting in the extra effort to further your career doesn't seem too bad.
But, when you look back at your life,
it's unlikely that you will wish you had spent more late nights at the office.
Muting Real Personality
A boisterous, unique personality may not mix well with a corporate job,
but that doesn't mean you should always try to hide who you are - just to appease others.
Whether just toning yourself down or completely changing your personality
to try and match other people's perceptions of you, you're bound to regret it as you age.
Breaking Up With A True Love Or Getting Dumped By Them
Our love lives are usually where the biggest regrets lie - maybe we
dumped someone that we wish we hadn't. Perhaps they left us.
Many people agonize over ‘what might have been’ for the rest of their lives.
But it's hard to be happy if you're still hung up on lost love. And constantly thinking about
what once was, takes away the special moments that could be experienced now.
Worrying About Other People's Opinions
It's natural to care about your reputation and what others think of you. But you
shouldn't always be worried about other people's opinions - you will regret it.
When you’re always worrying about what other people think,
you will inevitably become a people-pleaser. The problem with this is, that you can’t live
life fully. And ultimately, you’ll end up sabotaging your success and happiness.
Not Having Enough Confidence
Another big regret for a lot of people is not believing in
themselves and having low self-confidence. They wonder why they allowed others to influence
them and bring them down so much. Maybe it was merely their own negative thinking;
or a combination of the two. Once they realize how much
better life could've been - had they just believed in themselves - regret sets in.
Not Standing Up To Bullies In School And In Life
Many of our regrets and bitter memories stem from our more formative years, as children.
'Forgive and forget' hasn't been learned yet, and memories formed so early are often impossible to
shake off - especially memories of times where we did not stand up to those who bullied us.
The same applies to adulthood - bullies at work and in public - who we should have stood up to,
but didn't. We will likely regret it later on.
Trying To Live Up To Parents' Expectations
Expectations are often hard to live up to - regardless of who they're
set up by - but when our parents set them, we feel a particular need to fulfill them.
Specific rules and implicit expectations are hard to break - we adopt them subconsciously and try to
follow them even after we've grown up, because it's what a good son or daughter is supposed
to do, and we think it'll make our parents happy. Their happiness is our happiness – or so we think.
By the time people realize they didn’t live the life THEY wanted, it’s often too late.
Taking Life Too Seriously
As weird as it sounds, most people just don’t know to relax and have fun.
Too many people go through their lives being too serious and never taking a moment
just to joke around and take a load off. By staying so uptight all the time, they
miss out on a lot of the fun things life has to offer, and will eventually end up regretting it.
Letting Marriage Break Down
About half of marriages in the US end in divorce, and most people in these situations will tell you
it was for the best, and they had their reasons. Of course, some people just aren’t compatible,
and you shouldn’t stay with someone who isn’t right for you.
However, if you were to talk to divorcees privately, many would
say that they secretly regret ending things. It isn’t one specific event that marks the
end of a marriage; instead, it’s a slow build-up of seemingly innocuous problems.
The regret most people have is that they didn’t correct those little things along the way.
Ignoring Intuition
We all have that little voice in the back of our heads that tells us when something is wrong.
Of course, everyone has had situations where they
didn't listen to it and ended up regretting the choice later.
We generally ignore that voice a lot more than we should, either consciously or subconsciously,
and often realize later that we should have just listened.
Not Asking That Person Out
Anxiety and nervousness often get the best of us, especially at a younger age.
You can forgive yourself when you chickened out and didn't ask that specific someone
out on a date or to the prom. But that doesn't mean you're going to forget it.
You may find yourself decades later,
thinking about what would have happened if you'd only been brave enough to make a move.
Letting Friendships Fizzle Out
People get busy, and with so many things they have to juggle and commit to - from
work to family, and just finding the time to sleep - it's easy to
see why it can be challenging to find time for social interactions.
But you should always try to find time for your friends - or you'll come to regret it later.
Strong friendships are incredibly beneficial, and they are vital to forming a support system.
Having someone to celebrate with, or having a shoulder to cry on is
important - and good friends will be there for you - in the good times and the bad.
When you're going through one of those times, and there's no one around,
you'll wish you would have tried harder to keep those friendships in your life.
Not Sharing Feelings
In any kind of relationship, not telling the other person how you
feel is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. Tell people you love them and how much they mean
to you while you still can - because it's almost a guarantee that you'll regret it if you don't.
Missing Out On The Little Moments
Though it may not seem like a big deal at the moment, skipping out on things that might not be
so important to you but are important to someone else, will definitely come back to haunt you.
The little moments stick in your memory for you to savor them later.
Continually pushing back time spent with your friends and family means you have
less of these memories, and you'll wonder where the time went once it's too late to make more.
Holding Onto Grudges
Making amends with those who have wronged us is a major part of trying to cut back on regrets.
Staying angry might feel good at the moment, but it will only leave you burned out and wondering
later why you held onto that grudge for so long. When we hold onto these grudges, we hurt ourselves
as well - even though we might not even remember what we were so upset about in the first place.
Not Apologizing
Sincerely apologizing to someone and being forgiven is a very good feeling.
Because of pride, however, most people are stubborn and miss out
on this opportunity - and often regret it later.
Not Accomplishing More
This is fairly subjective, but a lot of people regret not accomplishing more as they get older.
Either they didn't take the chance,
or just didn't achieve as much as they would have liked to by a certain age.
In fact, according to research, 72 percent of adults regret their
perceived failures and not living up to their own expectations and self-image.
Not Traveling More
A lot of people reveal later in life that they regret not traveling and
seeing as much of the world as they wanted to. Maybe it seemed too expensive, or there just
wasn't enough time. Whatever the excuse, they kept pushing back their plans - until it was too late.
Not Saving More
It may not seem that important now, but saving some extra cash may help
you alleviate some regrets in your later years. Money issues - including not saving enough for
retirement - are among the biggest regrets people have later in life.
Not Leaving A Legacy
You don’t know what people will say about you after you are gone - you can only hope for the
best and try to make your legacy a good one. However, most people admit they wouldn't be
satisfied with their current legacy if it ended up being their permanent one.
Whether you wish you had children, volunteered more, or had just been kinder to others,
the thought that people might have less-than-fond memories of
you - or worse, no memories at all - can undoubtedly fill a person with regret.
Obviously, there’s no way to change the past - and
the purpose of this list is not to start a pity party.
The question is, what are you going to do moving forward to
avoid experiencing these regrets later on? Share your thoughts and comments below!
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