How to be more spontaneous and how to not be boring. I get this question a lot, so I
thought it was time to finally do a video on this topic. There's a lot of you are feeling
like you're not exciting enough or you need more spontaneity in your life. Now, in doing
some research for this topic, all I found was lists - 12 ways to be more spontaneous,
30 ways to bring excitement to your life, six ways to not be boring anymore, so I'm
not going to give you a list of things today.
Not yet.
The problem with lists is they don't create real change in your life. You read a big list
of 30 ways to be more spontaneous. You remember one or two. You may be think you'll go and
do them and then it doesn't create a habit. It's just a thing that you do. No real change,
disorganized action is disorganized results. What I'm giving you today in state is a structure
and actual little mini program so that you can be more spontaneous in six weeks following
a six step method that I teach to clients.
Now, I am going to give you a list tomorrow in tomorrow's video. What I want you to be
able to do though is succeed in this without any lists. I'm going to show you how. Before
we get into that, I'm going to ask you to prep questions that I'd asked my clients before
they begin this process. The first one is what makes you think you're boring? Okay,
I'm not saying you're not boring. You're could be real boring. You want to examine that belief
though, say does. Is it true? There's lots of people who think they're boring and it's
not true or there's lots of people with interesting things going on in their lives, and it's actually
the lack of passion for it that makes them boring.
We've all met people who have cool stuff going on and they just don't seem to care about
it and show no excitement for it and they seem boring. So really ask yourself, is my
life really boring? Do I, do I really need more things in it or could it be a self-fulfilling
prophecy? Could it be a lack of passion that I'm showing? The second question is what constitutes
interesting to you? What constitutes interesting or exciting? Women who come to me asking this
question Mark, how do I not be boring or Mark, how do I not be, how do I be more spontaneous?
They're always comparing themselves to someone. They've got a person they see as more interesting
or more spontaneous and they're being compared to that in their own minds. It's not necessarily
a bad thing to be inspired by others. If someone has what you perceive as a really cool, exciting
life and you want to build your life like that, that's not a bad thing.
The second question though, it helps you be aware of what your standards for spontaneity
and being interesting are because you could know two people, you could know someone who
hits the bars a lot and follows a lot of sports or plays a lot of sports and you could know
someone who does a lot of trivia nights and goes to improv classes. You might only find
one of those people. Interesting and spontaneous though. So really identify what is it that
I find interesting, spontaneous, exciting? Who am I comparing myself to? And think about
those models. Have a couple of people in your mind before you start this process. Okay,
six steps to be more spontaneous within six weeks. Here we go. So number one, write down
two people that you find spontaneous, interesting and inspiring. Do them. Write it down right
now. Use the question I asked you before to help you.
Step number two, write down three activities each of those two people do that make them
seem spontaneous and interesting to you. Pause the video right now. Three activities from
each of them, so you have six total. By the way, if you're enjoying the video, don't forget
to subscribe with the big red button and make sure you hit that little bell. So you get
the notifications when I post new videos. Step number three is write down the values.
Write down the thing that you like behind that activity. So you've got six activities
now. So, for example, if you wrote trivia nights, what really inspires you about that
activity might be social confidence. If you wrote skydiving, what really inspires you
about that activity might be adventure sports, outdoor excitement. If you wrote down sex
party, what might really inspire you about that is the sexual confidence and exploration.
If you wrote down random, spontaneous activities, what you might admire underneath that is the
person's ability to handle unpredictability. If you wrote down traveling or traveling somewhere,
what you might really love about that is the freedom. For each of those six activities
you have that you admire in this other person or people you want to identify the values
that you are really admiring underneath. Step number four, build your own list. You don't
need some massive lists designed on someone else's values. You now have six of your own
values and you can design just six of your own activities that can make you more spontaneous.
So take the values that you've got. Take the six values, use your creative mind and create
six things that you're excited for, a little nervous for that you can do over the next
six weeks. Here's the breakdown of it.
You want to pick three that are easy, two that are medium and one that's really challenging.
Have a look at the values that you've chosen. So for example, if you, if you've seen someone,
you've been inspired by their trivia nights, and then you say, okay, well it's a social
confidence that I really love underneath that. You might say, well, for me, I'm going to
visit three bars in one week and I'm going to meet three people at each bar. Cool, great
goal. If someone's inspired you with their traveling and you love freedom, you might
say, Hey, I'm going to pull a sickie and go on a road trip to nowhere. Figure out your
own challenges, whatever it is. Just use those six values that you've come up with. Three
easy, two medium, one hard. Once you've done that, pause the video now if you haven't,
pause it, pause it.
Once you've done that, you now have an organized way to become more spontaneous in the next
six weeks. You just complete one each week. Step number five is get an accountability
buddy. Now, you've got your list of six activities to do in the next six weeks. Get an accountability
buddy. Tell them what you're doing. Have them hold you accountable for the six activities
that you're going to do. Finally, step number six is action on it. You become your habits.
The more spontaneous habits you have, the more exciting activities you do, the more
you become the spontaneous person that you came to this video wanting to be. Now, if
you're struggling with your list, if you're struggling with the activities that you can
do in your life, I am going to pop another video in tomorrow. I've created a list for
you that's going to give you some examples of easy, medium, and hard activities that
you can use from your list.
Bring your values over to tomorrow's video, and if you've struggled with creating your
list, if you've got your values, but struggle to create the actual new activities that you
can do, I'm going to throw you a list in tomorrow's video and you can pick out just six of them
so that you can create your own mini spontaneity program and then throw away the rest. So that's
tomorrow's video. If you're struggling, I'll pop the link in the description, make sure
you tune in. Thank you for watching. Don't forget as well to download the first chapter
of my book. It's now available from the link in the description below, so make sure you
get that hit the big red subscribe button if you haven't already, and make sure you
hit that little bell so you get the notifications. Give the video a thumbs up and of course leave
your thoughts, comments, questions, et cetera. All in the space below. I'd love to hear them.
I'll see you in tomorrow's video with the list really soon.
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